New Book by We the People and Columnist

Nobody wants to live old, declares long-time We The People columnist Kay Mehl Miller, Ph.D., in her new book Living with the Stranger in Me: An Exploration of Aging. Written as creative non-fiction and classified as self-help, the book is an examination of aging through the experiences, knowledge, and insights of the author.

“In writing this book I wanted to let people know that older people are not stereotypes, but whole and interesting persons in their own right,” Miller explains.

Written with humor and pathos Miller’s experiences provide insight and identification to others who are going through similar processes and issues in aging, especially in facing and living through the many losses aging brings.

In her own story, Kay Miller finds herself suddenly single at the age of 73 when her soul mate, John, dies. With her energy drained from caregiving, her spirits low, and doubting whether she can ever be happy again, Kay begins a journey to wholeness by seeking comfort in a church where she is asked to play bridge. (How unexpected, how incongruous in a place of worshipÖhow God-given an offer since I love to play bridge! Bridge: a card game. Bridge: a link between distinct places. Bridge: a promise of connection. I said yes and on the way out hugged the pastor and told him “I am called to play bridge.”Öfrom the book.)

Miller began writing columns for the gay media in Hawaii in 1990 and continued with We the People and other publications when she and John Palmer moved to Santa Rosa in 1992. Her first book Talking It Over: Understanding Sexual Diversity is a personal narrative of her journey to understanding after her son came out to her and a compilation of many of her columns. That book, published in 2001, is still selling.

Miller is scheduled to participate in a dialogue and question-answer session about writing with her colleague, author Sandy Baker, at SoCo Coffee on Fourth Street in Santa Rosa on November 19 from 6:30 to 8 p.m. The event is open to the public with free admission.

Living with the Stranger in Me is listed on and on the website Contact Kay at