A St. Louis County senior community has denied housing to a married lesbian couple who have been together for nearly four decades because of the couple’s sexual orientation, according to a lawsuit filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court.
Mary Walsh, 72, and Bev Nance, 68, both of Shrewsbury, say the Friendship Village senior living community, which has locations in Sunset Hills and Chesterfield, denied occupancy to the couple to live at the Sunset Hills community in 2016 because their relationship violated its cohabitation policy that defines marriage as “the union of one man and one woman, as marriage is understood in the Bible,” according to the lawsuit.
The policy, the suit says, violates the Fair Housing Act and the Missouri Human Rights Act. It names Friendship Village and its parent company FV Services Inc. as defendants. The couple is represented by the San Francisco-based National Center for Lesbian Rights, the American Civil Liberties Union and the Washington D.C.-based firm Relman, Dane & Colfax.
When it comes to aging-related concerns, older LGBT adults worry most about having adequate family and other social support to rely on as they age, discrimination in long-term care (LTC) facilities, and access to LGBT-sensitive services for seniors, according to a new AARP survey. Black and Latino LGBT adults report the greatest concern about future family and social supports, and greater worry about potential abuse in LTC facilities because of their race/ethnicity and sexual orientation/gender identity.
The survey, “Maintaining Dignity: Understanding and Responding to the Challenges Facing Older LGBT Americans,” found gay men and lesbians have similar concerns about whether they’ll have enough family and/or social support. However, gay men are more likely than lesbians to be single, live alone, and have smaller support systems, which may put them at higher risk for isolation as they age. Transgender adults also report smaller support systems and are at an increased risk of isolation, while bisexuals are least likely to be “out” within health systems.
“Older LGBT adults often have serious concerns about aging with dignity, compounded primarily by fears of discrimination and lack of social support,” said Nii-Quartelai Quartey, Ed.D., AARP Senior Advisor and LGBT Liaison. “LGBT adults are clearly saying that they want LGBT-sensitive long-term care and other services.”
Over half (52 percent) of LGBT adults said they fear discrimination in health care as they age. A majority are especially concerned about facing neglect, abuse, and verbal or physical harassment in LTC facilities, with Black LGBT adults reporting the highest level of concern.
Most LGBT adults (88 percent) want providers in LTC facilities who are specifically trained to meet LGBT patient needs. They also want some providers or staff who are themselves LGBT.
Nearly one-third of older LGBT adults were at least somewhat worried about having to hide their LGBT identity in order to have access to suitable housing options.
“With well over a million LGBT seniors in the US, a number that will double by 2030, this is an opportunity for the health care and housing industries to step up and meet the needs of this growing demographic that aspires to thrive not hide as they age” said Quartey.
Who will speak for you if you can’t speak for yourself?
Live in accord with your beliefs and values. Fulfill the goals that have meaning for you. Enjoy your favorite comforts: Isn’t that how you should get to live right up to your last breath—even if a medical crisis means that you are unable to make decisions for yourself?
In honor of National Healthcare Decisions Day and Week, April 15-22, My Care, My Plan: Speak Up, Sonoma County will hold several free workshopsin Sonoma, Petaluma and Santa Rosa to encourage residents to speak up now about how they want to be treated if incapacitated in a future medical situation.
“What would your most important priorities be if you were very ill and unable to participate in decision-making? What would matter to you most if your time were very limited? Who would you want to be prepared to speak for yourself in such moments? What would you want to be sure your loved ones and health care team knew you would want to avoid, if at all possible? These are some of the important questions to discuss with your loved ones,” says Gary Johanson, MD, Medical Director, Memorial Hospice and St. Joseph Palliative Care Services.
Two workshops on Who Will Decide? will be Wednesday, April 11, 5:30-7:30 p.m. at Hospice of Petaluma, and Wednesday, April 18, 5:30-7:30 p.m., at Memorial Hospice, Santa Rosa.
Friday, April 13, 12:30–1:30 p.m., Steven Pantilat, M.D., Director, UCSF Palliative Care Program, will address Living Well with Serious Illness, at Vintage House in Sonoma. His talk will be followed by two Complete Your Advance Health Care Directive workshops, one at 2 p.m. and another starting at 6:30 p.m.
On Tuesday, April 17, 2-4 p.m., a Who Will Speak for You If You Can’t Speak for Yourself? workshop in Santa Rosa will be led by Dr. Johanson of Memorial Hospice and St. Joseph Palliative Care Services, and Dorothy Foster, MFT and co-chair of My Care My Plan: Speak Up, Sonoma County.
“Documentation of your wishes, through completion of an advance care directive, is part of the process,” says Foster. “It’s not something you do just once, but multiple times over your lifespan, because your priorities at age 25 are bound to be different at age 55 or 85.”
My Care, My Plan: Speak Up, Sonoma County’s (MyCareMyPlanSonoma.org) vision is for every adult in the county to become educated and empowered to express his/her wishes about end-of-life care, to have the opportunity to do so, and to have their wishes honored in a medical crisis. This is an initiative of the Committee for Healthcare Improvement and Sonoma County Health Action, mobilizing community partnerships and resources to achieve equity and improve health for all in Sonoma County. MCMP is a collaborative of organizations and individuals from the private, public, nonprofit, and volunteer sectors, including local health care and social service organizations and other community partners.
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Free Workshops on Advance Care Planning
Who Will Speak for You When You Can’t Speak for Yourself?
A 70-year-old lesbian has been spat on, pushed over, slapped and told that “homosexuals will burn in hell” by residents in her care home.
Marsha Wetzel moved into the Glen Saint Andrew Living Community in Niles, Illinois, after her partner of 30 years, Judy, died of colon cancer.
She is now suing the home for failing to protect her from abuse, in a landmark case which could ensure that the Fair Housing Act protects LGBT people who are harassed by other tenants.
In a heartbreaking video released by her representatives, LGBT civil rights group Lambda Legal, the 70-year-old said she had to move to the care home after she was rejected by her in-laws.
She was “shunned, completely shut out” and not even taken to the funeral of the woman she had loved for three decades, simply because they did not accept her relationship with Judy.
They took her house away, and her son became violent.
After being housed in the care home, she made lots of new friends – and then, said Marsha, everything changed.
One of the residents asked about her husband, and she told the truth.
This brought on a tidal wave of homophobia against her, she said.
“I thought: oh no, here we go again. Gay hate.
“There were a handful of residents, I could tell were really going to give me trouble. I tried to avoid them but they would seek me out to taunt me.
She said that she had “heard every negative homosexual term; I’ve been hit more than once.”
The abuse had taken a massive toll on her, she said.
“You can get so scared, you can’t sleep, you can’t eat,” said Marsha.
“You don’t want to take a shower, you don’t want to get dressed. You don’t want to go in the
hall.”
The anti-gay harassment got so bad that she would think of death as an escape.
“I’d look out the window; I’ve got a cemetery out there,” she said.
“That’s when I’ll stop being made fun of because I’m gay.”
And, Marsha said, she received no protection from the authorities.
“I feel like the staff don’t protect me. I don’t feel any safety in going to them. They accuse me of things I don’t do, they ignore me like a ghost.
“I’m not treated like the other residents. If you can’t go to the staff, who do you go to?
So she took action – but not just for her.
“How many other gays in these retirement homes are going through what I’m going through?” she asked.
“I want to stick with this and get justice, and I want people to know: stop pushing us around.”
Remembering Judy, she said her partner had been “so generous of herself, so giving so loving. So pretty”.
“I know she’s rooting for me, and she’d be happy that I’m doing it for her, and she’d be happy I’m doing it for myself.”
A ruling from the 7th U.S. Court of Appeals in Chicago is expected in the next several weeks.
NEW SENIOR CENTER LGBTQI PROGRAMS: With the help of an LGBTQI Giving Circle grant, Sonoma County Adult and Aging Services was able to provide the staff of three Sonoma County senior centers — Finley Community Center’s Senior Wing in Santa Rosa, Vintage House in Sonoma, and the Sebastopol Area Senior Center — with cultural competency training in LGBTQI aging issues in 2016-2017. All three have since added new special programs for LGBTQI seniors including “Aging Gayfully” classes (see below). The Sebastopol Area Senior Center has also scheduled an exciting February field trip to the GLBT History Museumin San Francisco as well as committed to continuing their extremely popular bi-monthly LGBT Seniors Dance (next one February 24th) and their very informative on-line LGBTQI Eldership Resource Center.
NEW “AGING GAYFULLY” CLASSES: I am so grateful and excited that the three free “Aging Gayfully” classes offered last fall by Santa Rosa JC’s Older Adults Programs will resume January 17th & 18th at the three senior centers for the Spring Semester (see attached flyer). These classes are an outgrowth of the 8-week workshops that were given at a number of Sonoma County locations under an earlier grant from the LGBTQI Giving Circle. I hope you will check out the attached flyer and consider contributing your life stories as well as your humor and insights to our fun and informative weekly discussions. Continuation of this unique opportunity for us to gather depends on adequate enrollment so come to one of the first class meetings and check it out!
NEW NORTH BAY RAINBOW NETWORK: Many members of our community were affected by last October’s fires, some severely with the loss of housing, income. vital healthcare equipment or pets and others perhaps less severely but perhaps left with physical or emotional health challenges from the stress of responding to the crisis and/or prolonged evacuation. A group of concerned individuals has formed the North Bay Rainbow Network to (1) create greater awareness of fire recovery organizations of the fires’ impact on our community and (2) to connect affected community members with these organizations who can help in a variety of ways. While the website (www.northbayrainbownetwork.org) is still under construction, there will soon be a survey that you can complete to let us know how you were affected and your needs. Perhaps this could continue to be a virtual way for us to connect with needs and resources!
NEW OPENING DOORS FOR LGBTI SENIORS COALITION: To continue the work that has been done under two previous LGBTQI Giving Circle grants, Sonoma County Adult and Aging Services has contracted with my colleague Nancy Flaxman to facilitate a series of meetings of representatives from senior service agencies in the county and help them develop strategies for increasing our accessibility to services and community support with greater confidence and comfort.
NEW LGBTQI SENIOR DISCUSSION GROUP: A new Russian River group was started in 2017 and meets the 2nd Saturday from 12:30 – 2 pm in the Marshall House at the Russian River Senior Resource Center in Guerneville. Volunteer-led LGBTQI senior discussion groups also continue to meet in Santa Rosa (fourth Tuesdays 1-3 pm at the Glaser Center) and in Sonoma (third Fridays 10 am – noon at Vintage House). For home-bound or transportation-limited LGBT seniors, the Senior Center Without Walls also offers a semi-monthly LGBT Telephone Chat Group.
NEW SENIOR RESOURCE GUIDE: The Sonoma County 2018 edition should be coming out soon and will continue to have the special section of resources for LGBTQI seniors that was included for the first time just two years ago. I think of that section as “The Lavender Pages” when it comes to locating resources that can help with our LGBTQI-related aging challenges.
NEW LGBTQI ORAL HISTORY PROJECT: This exciting inter-generational project is sponsored by the organization Listening For a Change with funding from the LGBTQI Giving Circle. The project invites LGBTQI youth to videotape interviews with LGBTQI elders and vice versa. Don’t miss the opportunity to participate in this unique project! See attached flyer for Spring workshop dates.
NEW INTER-GENERATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES: With Positive Images continuing its innovative work with youth and now the expansion of LGBTQ Connection into Sonoma County, there were a number of inter-generational events planned and hosted by LGBTQI youth in 2017 that gave those of us who helped pioneer our rights movement an opportunity to see what the younger generation is doing to further our work. Look for more of these events in 2018!
NEW LGBTQ+ SUMMIT: The first free annual gathering for Sonoma County LGBTQ+ individuals and allies of all ages was held in September under sponsorship of Positive Images with partial funding by the LGBTQI Giving Circle. It was such a huge success that another is being planned for this coming September. Don’t miss it!
NEW SONOMA COUNTY PRIDE EVENTS: Already in the planning and promising to be bigger and better than ever, somark your calendars for the first weekend in June for an all-age county-wide celebration! The Sonoma Valley LGBT Seniors Group will also be hosting a Gay Pride Tea Dance for older adults on Thursday, June 7th at Vintage House.
NEW LGBTQI FILM FESTIVAL: In 2017 OutWatch Film Festivalpartneredwith the Sebastopol Documentary Film Festival to bring us some short films of interest to our community and then, in spite of the fires, went ahead with their popular annual fall festival bringing us another great selection of films that mirror our lives and donating festival profits to our community’s fire victims. We look forward to more great films in 2018!
CONTINUING ON-LINE AND MEDIA SUPPORT: Our go-to website for news and LGBTQI events will continue to be www.gaysonoma.com with its special section for Seniors and station KRCB will continue to bring us current news and interesting interviews that address our community’s issues on its Outbeat Radio program.
CONTINUING CONNECTION OPPORTUNITIES: LGBTQI adults can continue to access informal networks such as Sonoma County Gaydar and LGBTQ Meetups.
A special issue of LGBT Health includes the latest research, clinical practice innovations, and policy aimed at addressing disparities and enhancing healthcare for older LGBT populations. A collection of informative and insightful articles that contribute to the understanding of factors that affect the health of older gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Americans is published in LGBT Health, a peer-reviewed journal from Mary Ann Liebert, Inc., publishers. The special issue is available free on the LGBT Health website.
Guest Editors Judith B. Bradford, PhD and Sean R. Cahill, PhD coordinated this special issue of LGBT Health. Included is an article entitled “Health Indicators for Older Sexual Minorities: National Health Interview Survey, 2013–2014,” in which Christina Dragon, MSPH, Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (Baltimore, MD) and coauthors from NORC at the University of Chicago (Bethesda, MD), KPMG (McLean, VA), and The Fenway Institute (Boston, MA) explored differences between older sexual minorities and heterosexuals across multiple health indicators. The researchers found better outcomes or health-related behaviors among sexual minorities for some of the indicators, but sexual minorities were more than twice as likely to report binge drinking compared with their heterosexual peers.
Stuart Michaels, PhD, NORC at the University of Chicago, IL and colleagues from NORC and the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services coauthored the article entitled “Improving Measures of Sexual and Gender Identity in English and Spanish to Identify LGBT Older Adults in Surveys.” They demonstrated that efforts to identify LGBT older adults may be hindered by language-related obstacles among non-LGBT Spanish speakers who might have difficulty understanding terms used to designate sexual identities.
In the article “Transgender Medicare Beneficiaries and Chronic Conditions: Exploring Fee-for-Service Claims Data,” a team of authors from the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services and NORC at the University of Chicago (Bethesda, MD), led by Christina Dragon, MSPH, report on differences in the chronic conditions burden between transgender and cisgender Medicare beneficiaries. Overall, transgender beneficiaries were found to have a greater burden of chronic conditions, and higher rates of asthma, autism spectrum disorder, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, depression, hepatitis, HIV, schizophrenia, and substance use disorders compared with cisgender beneficiaries. Transgender Medicare beneficiaries also had higher observed rates of potentially disabling mental health and neurological/chronic pain conditions.
“This special issue of LGBT Health highlights innovations in research, practice, and policy to improve healthcare and services for LGBT older adults. The articles in the issue contribute to our understanding of health disparities and resiliencies in these populations, and suggest ways to improve care and integrate support services to ensure healthy aging,” says Guest Editor Sean Cahill, The Fenway Institute. “The timing of this special issue is important, as the federal government is rolling back sexual orientation and gender identity nondiscrimination regulations and data collection. The special issue is dedicated to Judy Bradford, a leader in LGBT aging and LGBT health research, and to her vision of LGBT health and equality.”
SeniorAdvice.com, one of the nation’s top senior housing referral services, has released an article on the best fifteen thriving senior living communities for LGBT seniors. The company recognizes that the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) senior community is currently a very important part of the American population, and that the struggle for resources and housing can sometimes be difficult.
According to the American Psychological Association, “more than 39 million people in the U.S. are age 65 years or older including 2.4 million people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT). It is estimated that as the baby boomer generation ages, the older adult population will increase from 12.8 percent to an estimated 19 percent in 2030.”* Although the LGBT community is growing steadily, the options for LGBT senior housing are not as flourishing. There are a handful of these communities across the country though, and SeniorAdvice.com has put together a list of the most welcoming.
The top fifteen LGBT-friendly senior housing communities in America are:
The Palms of Manasota in Palmetto, Florida
The Resort on Carefree Boulevard in Fort Myers, FL
Stonewall Gardens in Palm Springs, California
Fountaingrove Lodge in Santa Rosa, CA
Triangle Square in Hollywood, CA
Rainbow Vista in Gresham, Oregon
Discovery Bay Resort in Washington State
The Residences at Seashore Point in Provincetown, MA
Birds of a Feather in Pecos, NM
A Place for Us in Cleveland, OH
Carefree Cove in Boone, North Carolina
John C. Anderson Apartments in Philadelphia, PA
The Pueblo in Apache Junction, Arizona
Spirit on Lake in Minneapolis, MN
Townhall Apartments in Chicago, Illinois
There is generally less acceptance of the LGBT community among older generations, which can make it very difficult to find a supportive community within the senior demographic. It is estimated that “48 percent of LGBT older couples face discrimination” according to a 2014 investigation by the nonprofit Equal Rights Center.** In addition to discrimination issues, this community can sometimes encounter financial difficulties as well. These seniors can experience discrimination in the workplace, which can make it hard to afford senior housing and save for retirement. SeniorAdvice.com recognizes these challenges and aims to be a strong resource for LGBT seniors.
Ryan Patterson, SeniorAdvice.com CEO and Founder states, “SeniorAdvice.com will continue to be dedicated and focus on the challenges and needs of seniors of all backgrounds. The LGBTQ senior community faces additional challenges that other seniors do not have to deal with, and we like to provide resources aimed at this group to help make transitioning to senior housing easier for all involved.”
All LGBTQ seniors are welcome to attend the “Aging Gayfully” classes at Finley Senior Center in Santa Rosa (Wednesdays 10 am – noon) and Sebastopol Area Senior Center (Wednesdays 2:30-4:30 pm). While SRJC classes are officially cancelled this week, I am still meeting with those who feel the need to connect with their peers and be supported during this challenging time.
Vintage House in Sonoma is “closed until further notice” (probably due to power outages) so I may not be able to hold my “Aging Gayfully” class there this Thursday morning and we are still waiting to see if the Sonoma Valley LGBT Seniors Group can have our scheduled monthly discussion group there on Friday morning at 10 am. If we can, we invite LGBTQ seniors in our area who have been affected by the fire to join us. If not, we will be meeting in the banquet room of the Palms Grill (Sonoma Highway at El Vernano Blvd.) at noon for lunch and discussion.
Also I would encourage use of the LGBTQI Elder Resource Center (http://www.sebastopolseniorcenter.org/lgbtqi-elder-resource-center) and for LGBTQI seniors to feel comfortable contacting our Sonoma County Adult and Aging Services as their staff have received multiple LGBTQ cultural competency trainings and are eager to make sure LGBTQ seniors are not lacking in services, especially during this critical time.
Many of us in our 60’s or older are feeling that our community has moved on without us. While we were stuck with having to choose between “lesbian” or “gay,” “butch” or“femme, a whole new vocabulary is evolving (and our acronym expanding!) to describe an ever-expanding range of sexual preferences and gender identities. Many LGBT youth have also reclaimed the umbrella term “queer” that we who lived in less-accepting times grew to hate. Also meet-ups, websites, and on-line social media options catering to a wide range of LGBT interests have replaced the smoke-filled bars that were often our only option for socializing and dating.
Do we, as LGBT elders, continue to have a role in our community? If so, what do we have to offer our youthful counterparts? I am recommending an exciting forum for exploring answers to that question – the upcoming LGBTQ+ Summit scheduled for September 16th at Sonoma State University.
The LGBTQ+ Summit is the vision of Javier Rivera-Rosales, the director of Positive Images. With seed funding from the Community Foundations’ s LGBTQI Giving Circle Fund, Javi has put together a creative and diverse Summit planning team of individuals and agency representatives. The team is committed to producing an innovative event that will bring together a cross-section of Sonoma County’s diverse LGBTQ+ community with the intention of stimulating an ongoing collaborative approach to building safe, welcoming, inclusive communities for LGBTQ+ individuals of all ages, races, ethnicities, sexual preferences and gender identities.
It is important that we LGBT elders make sure our voices are represented in this effort. We have personally experienced our tumultuous history. In our fight for equality and for compassionate treatment of those affected by HIV/AIDS we learned the importance of working together. We also know how quickly our rights and protections can be lost if we do not maintain solidarity. We have the skills and experience to lay a strong foundation for collaboration. That is our collective legacy.
The planning team is making every effort to ensure that all segments of our community are represented including LGBT elders so I am encouraging my peers to seize this opportunity to contribute their rich history and wisdom in community-building that will ensure that future generations of LGBT and, yes,“Queer” individuals will not have to experience what we have. Registration is limited and will soon be open so you can continue checking the Summit website (www.lgbtqsummit.com) to learn when.
By the way, the planning team is seeking sponsors to provide help with funding and donated goods and services so that Summit participation can be offered at no cost. It is also seeking volunteers. You can do either or both at the Summit website. Don’t miss out on this opportunity for you to contribute the legacy of our generation!
Buz Hermes is co-facilitator of the Sonoma Valley LGBT Seniors Group and a former staff member of Spectrum’s Senior Outreach Program. He is currently a consultant on LGBT aging and can be reached at [email protected] or (707) 227-6935.
SeniorAdvice.com, one of the nation’s top senior housing referral services, has released an article on the challenges and progress of the aging transgender community. The company recognizes that the LGBT senior community is a very important part of the American population, and that the struggle for acceptance and safety among the transgender community has finally reached the national conversation.
There is generally less acceptance of the trans community among older generations, which can make it very difficult to find a supportive community within the senior demographic. According to a recent study by the Williams Institute at the UCLA Law School, 14% of those identifying as transgender are over the age of 65. The senior transgender community often faces many difficulties. SeniorAdvice.com has identified three of these challenges and has researched ways to combat these issues, including current public and private efforts to improve upon the lives of transgender seniors.
The three challenges of transgender seniors explored by SeniorAdvice.com are:
1) Isolation and a Negative Social Stigma
In addition to the rampant discrimination, loneliness, and violence that all transgender people often encounter, older individuals in this community can face particular challenges in dealing with long-standing familial roles. There can be difficulties when families and friends have to consider modifying deeply established roles and there may be a period of adjustment for all involved. There is also a lack of availability of social groups for seniors, particularly outside of large metropolitan areas, and this can worsen the isolation.
2) Senior Housing Issues
There is a serious lack of availability in LGBT-friendly senior housing and the problem is most severe for those who are transgender. Because there are no legal protections at the national level for transgender people, those seeking nursing home or assisted living care often face discrimination and lack of acceptable living conditions.
3) Health Concerns
Transgender people of all ages frequently lack access to properly-trained healthcare providers who understand their unique medical and psychological challenges. Many within the community even report facing harassment, ridicule, and rough treatment by medical professionals, or are refused treatment altogether. Individuals who are older often face additional complications due to requirements for longer-term and sometimes more intense hormone therapy that require a closer level of attention from their healthcare providers.
To further investigate these challenges, SeniorAdvice.com conducted an in-depth interview with a retired transgender woman. Cynthia, whose name was changed to protect her identity, is a parent, a decorated military veteran, and a Purple Heart recipient. She recently began her transition and is the happiest she’s ever been, though she has faced many obstacles along her journey.
“SeniorAdvice.com continues to be dedicated to the challenges and needs of elder people of all backgrounds. The transgender senior community is a particularly vulnerable group and has been largely ignored for far too long. It’s time to bring their story into the public conversation,” says Ryan Patterson, SeniorAdvice.com CEO and Founder.