For most of her young life, Michelle LeClair was a worrier.
She had to be: her mother was somewhat of a free spirit who married often and “was gone a lot.” For that, LeClair grew up as the Independent Responsible Child; the one who, as a teen, wanted a job so she could pay for her own car, as she recalls in the new memoir “Perfectly Clear.”
And so LeClair’s mother helped her get a job selling L. Ron Hubbard training materials for Sterling Management, an organization run by Scientologists. It didn’t take long before LeClair surprised everyone, herself included, by excelling beyond expectations.
Her success and her mother’s influence led the Church to invite LeClair to one-on-one member counseling, ostensibly to determine her “purpose on earth,” but also to lead her deeper inside Scientology. Church members offered her their friendship, but LeClair noticed that she was asked nearly constantly for more money. As her career rose, so did the Church’s requests for donations and soon, she was writing astoundingly frequent five-figure checks to the organization.
And it might’ve continued so, if not for one thing.
As a teenager, LeClair fooled around once with a female friend, which she had to confess to a fellow Scientologist, information that went into a file. Even after LeClair married and had children, her long-ago fling was flung in her face repeatedly, particularly after she tried to divorce her abusive husband. Scientology has long considered homosexuality repugnant, she was reminded, and that nagged at her enough to make her question this faith in which she’d been raised.
She questioned even deeper when she fell in love with a woman named Charly.
Halloween is long over. The decorations have been put away. But if you didn’t get scared enough then, “Perfectly Clear” will finish the job perfectly.
It starts with the opening pages, in which author Michelle LeClair is arrested for a crime that never happened, fabricated, she says, by Scientology members. It’s a small story compared to what else follows, but its heart-pounding presence in the front of the book takes readers by the scruff and shakes us.
That leaves a lingering feeling of alarm that continues to run in and out of the rest of this memoir as LeClair (with Robin Gaby Fisher) lets readers see what she did not. We’re privy to the manipulation she recalls but didn’t notice then, the pressure she felt but dismissed and the dawning fear that she could never get away.
That makes for an excellent real-life love story wrapped up in a psychological thriller that’ll also make you pick your jaw off the floor about every third page.
Protections in the new North American trade pact for LGBTQ people are roiling conservative lawmakers in the House, who are urging President Donald Trump to rescind them.
They are displeased that the new U.S.-Mexico-Canada Agreement contains requirements that workers be protected from discrimination on the basis of sex, including sexual orientation and gender identity.
“A trade agreement is no place for the adoption of social policy,” reads the letter, which carries the names of 40 lawmakers and was sent Friday.“It is especially inappropriate and insulting to our sovereignty to needlessly submit to social policies which the United States Congress has so far explicitly refused to accept.”
It’s one more landmine in the path of Trump’s biggest trade achievement. Already, labor groups have expressed some concern that mechanisms to enforce new worker protections aren’t sufficiently strong and hinted that the incoming Democratic House might seek changes.
Now the conservatives, including House Freedom Caucus chairman Mark Meadows and Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa), are hoping to revise the deal before it gets signed. Another signatory is Rep. Diane Black (R-Tenn.), a Ways and Means Committee member who is leaving Congress at the end of the year.
One congressman who led the effort on the letter said the issue could be a “deal-killer” for him supporting the pact.
“This is language that is going to cause a lot of people to reconsider their support of the trade agreement, and to the point that it may endanger the passage of the trade agreement unless something is done,” Rep. Doug Lamborn (R-Colo.) told POLITICO in an interview.
Adjusting the deal is a tall order.
The countries are expected to sign the agreement on Nov. 30 at a G20 summit in Argentina, the day before the current Mexican administration leaves office. The easiest way for the administration to address the conservatives’ concerns is to persuade Canada and Mexico to change the language before the agreement is signed. If those countries balk and the administration is concerned about having enough Republican votes to win approval, it could attempt to negate the language through the implementing bill. But that would be highly unusual and give many Democrats another reason to vote against the legislation.
Tweaks can be made through so-called side letters. But this particular demand is certain to leave Canada especially cold.
Lamborn said his understanding is that the administration could seek to alter the language without opening the deal back up. But “if it’s bad enough — and in my opinion it’s bad enough — they should consider taking it out,” he said. “At this point I’m a ‘no’ vote and I would encourage others to be a no vote unless something is done. And things could be done within the agreement.”
The LGBT provisions were a Canadian priority — part of the so-called progressive trade agenda championed by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and described as a “big win” by his government. And the Trudeau government already is less than enthusiastic about entering the agreement while steel tariffs remain in place. Canada’s ambassador to Washington joked in a recent interview with POLITICO that the country might sign the pact with a “bag over its head.”
It’s unclear whether the LGBT clauses even have real teeth. Both Canada and the U.S. agree it wouldn’t require a new law.
But it’s unprecedented language in a U.S. trade agreement.
USMCA’s Chapter 23 on labor requires countries to implement policies that protect workers against employment discrimination on the basis of sex, sexual orientation and gender identity. Another provision in the same chapter requires countries to promote workplace equality with respect to gender identity and sexual orientation.
The conservatives say this would undo other administration policies.
The letter argues that USMCA contradicts other administration work on sexual orientation and gender identity, and would also make it impossible to end a pair of executive actions from the Obama administration forbidding workplace discrimination.
It accuses the Office of the U.S. Trade Representative of working against administration policies.
In reality, the federal government is somewhat divided about whether employment discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity is illegal under the 1964 Civil Rights Act, a question that turns on how judges interpret the word “sex” (one of the law’s protected classes, along with race, religion, and national origin).
Under the Obama administration, the Justice Department said that “sex” included sexual orientation and gender identity, and that discrimination on those bases was therefore illegal. After President Donald Trump was elected and Jeff Sessions became attorney general, the department reverted to the position that the 1964 law did not bar discrimination against LGBT individuals. In addition, the Justice and Education departments, in a two-page guidance letter to schools, scrapped an Obama directive aimed at protecting the rights of transgender students.
But the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, which continues to retain a Democratic majority, still adheres to the Obama policy that the Civil Rights Act outlawed discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Federal appeals courts are split on the question, and the Supreme Court has never taken up the matter.
Earlier this year Trump issued orders to ban transgender troops who require surgery or significant medical treatment from serving in the military except in select cases — following through on a pledge under review by the Pentagon that is being fought out in the courts.
“It is deeply troubling,” the letter says, that the U.S. Trade Representative has approved language that contradicts LGBT policies in the departments of Justice and Health and Human Services. USTR did not respond to a request for comment.
The letter is otherwise supportive of Trump’s trade efforts. It begins with praise: “We applaud your hard work to negotiate a new trilateral free trade agreement with Mexico and Canada. Balancing the competing interests of three different countries is a monumental challenge.”
Born around a bonfire in the town of Occidental in 1978, the Occidental Community Choir has become a treasured West County cultural institution. Creative, quirky and consistently melodious, OCC celebrates its 40thBirthday this year! So, instead of having a midlife crisis andgetting a tattoo, we’re observing this momentous occasion with a winter concert series celebrating four decades of making original music with our friends and neighbors in beautiful Sonoma County.
Directress Sarah Saulsbury will lovingly leadour 51-member ensemble as we revisit some of the best-loved songs of the winter holiday season written by choir members past and present. Skillfully weaving together song and story, poetry and theatrics, the OCC offers a joyful and eclectic winter holiday concert experience unlike any other. Come 1/2 hour early to see the slide show! Seasonal refreshments offered. Wheelchair Accessible.There will be commemorative pottery and gift items for sale, plus a special exhibit with 40 years of choir photos and memorabilia in the OCA Gallery.
Photo: Facebook. Viccky Gutierrez, 33, was stabbed and had her body set ablaze inside her Los Angeles home on January 10.
The transgender community is still one of the most targeted minorities in the United States. Not only are gender-nonconforming individuals being harassed and attacked on the streets, but the government is attempting to erase their entire identity out of existence.
With National Transgender Day of Remembrance coming up on November 20, the City of West Hollywood is planning a ceremony for the trans lives lost this year at Jeremy Hotel from 6 – 9 p.m. In total, there were 29 deaths of transgender people in the U.S. in 2017. So far, there has been a total of 22 deaths due to fatal violence.
LIVES LOST:
• Christa Leigh Steele-Knudslien, 42, was found dead in her home on January 5, in North Adams, Massachusetts. Steele-Knudslien organized and produced the Miss Trans New England and other pageants, and was loved and known by many in both the local and national trans community.
• Viccky Gutierrez, 33, a transgender woman from Honduras was stabbed and had her body set ablaze inside her Los Angeles home on January 10. Friends described her as “a young trans Latina immigrant woman whose warm smile would give anyone comfort.”
• Celine Walker, 36, was fatally shot in a hotel room on on February 4 in Jacksonville, Florida. It was not known for several days that Walker was trans because local police claimed to not refer to victims as transgender. Investigators are still looking for a suspect in her death.
• Tonya Harvey, 35, was fatally shot on February 6 in Buffalo, New York. A friend of Harvey’s expressed her condolences on Facebook, writing: “I knew her since I started transitioning, she was so sweet and loving.” Police have confirmed they are looking into the incident as a possible hate crime.
• Zakaria Fry, 28, went missing in New Mexico in mid-January. Her body was later found 40 miles outside of Albuquerque on February 19. Albuquerque Police arrested and charged Charles Spiess with two open counts of murder. Fry’s loved ones shared comondolences on Facebook with one friend saying: “You were my older sister. You took care of me and loved me like family. I’ll forever love you. I’m sorry.”
• Phylicia Mitchell, 45, was shot and killed outside her home on February 23 in Cleveland, Ohio. On April 10, Cleveland.com reported that a warrant has been issued for the arrest of Gary Sanders. Sanders was charged with aggravated murder in Mitchell’s death. Her longtime partner, Shane Mitchell, described her as “funny and kind” and that “everyone loved her.”
• Amia Tyrae Berryman, 28, was fatally shot at a local motel on March 26 in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Few details are known about the crime, and police report they have no suspects or persons of interest at this time.
• Sasha Wall, 29, a transgender woman of color, was fatally shot on April 1 in Chesterfield County, South Carolina. The FBI is assisting with local investigators, and are analyzing phone records and collecting DNA evidence. Donovan Dunlap, a friend of Wall’s, expressed condolences on Facebook, writing, “I will miss you my beautiful sister. I cannot sleep, I hope they find who did this.”
• Karla Patricia Flores-Pavón, 26, was found choked to death in her apartment in Dallas, Texas, on May 9. Dallas Police arrested 24-year-old Jimmy Eugene Johnson III on May 17, charging him with Flores-Pavón’s murder. “It hurts a lot, you were a good-hearted person. Sister, fly high. We will remember you with love. Your beautiful smile will stay with us,” a friend posted on her Facebook page.
• Nino Fortson, 36, was fatally shot in Atlanta on May 13. City police were nearby executing a traffic stop and rushed to the scene, but Forston later died at the hospital, said transgender advocate Monica Roberts.
• Gigi Pierce, 28, was fatally shot on May 21 in Portland, Oregon. When officers arrived they tried to administer aid, but Pierce died at the scene. Police investigators say they believe that Pierce was shot during an altercation with Sophia Adler, who has been charged with Pierce’s murder, according to KGW-TV.
• Antash’a English, 38, was fatally injured in drive-by shooting in Jacksonville, Florida on June 1. On her Facebook page, English described herself as an “independent” transgender woman who “thrives on being the best person” she can be. The Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office has declared an active murder investigation and asks anyone with information to contact their office.
• Diamond Stephens, 39, was found shot to death on June 18 in Meridian, Mississippi. In interviews with a local television station, family members said that Stephens had an “incredible personality.” As is too often the case in the reporting of anti-transgender violence, Stephens was originally misgendered in local police statements and media reports, which delayed our awareness of this deadly incident.
• Cathalina Christina James, 24, was fatally shot in Jacksonville, Florida, on June 24. In an interview with First Coast News, James’ mother described her daughter as having a “big and bold” personality, saying she loved to dance and travel. James is the third transgender woman murdered and the fourth shot in the Florida city this year.
• Keisha Wells, 54, was found dead with a gunshot wound to her abdomen in the parking lot of an apartment complex on June 24, according to Cleveland.com. A longtime friend of Wells described her as “the nicest person ever” but also a “tough cookie.”
• Sasha Garden, 27, was found dead with signs of trauma in Orlando, Florida, early July 19. Originally from Wisconsin, Garden is remembered by loved ones as a “firecracker” who “didn’t hold anything back.” Friend and local transgender activist Mulan Montrese Williams recalls that Garden was a talented and aspiring hair stylist and had been saving money to fund her transition.
• Vontashia Bell, 18, was fatally shot on August 30 in a neighborhood of Shreveport, Lousiana. The Louisiana Trans Advocates organization released a statement condemning the shooting and calling on the city’s leaders to help curb the violence against the trans community.
• Dejanay Stanton, 24, was found with a fatal gunshot wound to the head on August 30, according to media reports. After an autopsy, her death was ruled a homicide and the investigation is ongoing. “Every time you saw her she had a smile on her face,” said LaSaia Wade, executive director of Brave Space Alliance. “She was just trying to live her best life as a young girl.”
• Shantee Tucker, 30, was found with a fatal gunshot wound in the back in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, on Sept. 5. Friends and family honored her life and mourned her death on Facebook, recalling that she was like “another big sister” to them and remembering her “beautiful spirit and fun aura.”
• Londonn Moore, 20, was found dead of multiple gunshot wounds in a remote area of North Port, Florida on Sept. 8. Moore is remembered by her family and other loved ones, who described her as “hilarious” and someone who “made everyone laugh all the time.”
• Nikki Enriquez, 28, was one of four women killed in Sept. in what local officials describe as a “serial killing spree” allegedly carried out by an intel supervisor for the U.S. Border Patrol. Enriquez, who also went by the name Janelle, is survived by numerous loved ones that were “sad and in disbelief” at her death. Cousin Veronica Castillo described her as a “very outgoing” person who loved to party and was beloved by the local LGBTQ community.
• Ciara Minaj Carter Frazier, 31, was fatally stabbed and her body left behind an abandoned building by a man with whom she was arguing on October 3 in Chicago. As reported in the Sun Times, Chicago police declared Frazier’s death a homicide after appearing on the scene. She is remembered by friends and loved ones, who said that she will “always be missed.”
Conference founders Anna and Yulia had been raising money for this year’s event via crowdfunding. (Supplied)
LGBT+ activists in Russia involved in organising a conference about same-sex families were attacked for the second year in a row.
The fifth annual LGBTQIAPP+ Family Conference was due to take place on November 9-11, despite funding issues that forced organisers to raise money via crowdfunding to guarantee safety at the venue.
Conference organisers managed to secure a location for the event for free, but on the afternoon of November 9 the venue managers informed the organisers the conference had to be cancelled because they had received threats that made it difficult to guarantee participants’ safety.The LGBT+ activists cleared the space and headed to a nearby shop. As they came out of the shop, they were attacked by an unidentified assailant.
Attack on LGBT+ activists similar to that of the previous year
Nadeshda Aronchik, fundraiser and co-organiser of the conference, tells PinkNews that one person ran towards the volunteers and sprayed them with an “acid substance.” The substance hit two people in the eyes, but also affected other people in the group who were also sprayed.
The two LGBT+ activists that were injured received hospital treatment and are currently recuperating well, Aronchik says. They are being kept under constant monitoring as the substance may lead to longterm consequences.
The event founders at the opening of the 4th family conference last year. (Supplied)
While the substance is yet to be identified by police, Aronchik is sure it was not pepper-spray, as it has been reported elsewhere.
“They were sprayed with the same acid substance as me and my colleagues last year,” she says.
Last year, a group of four men attacked conference guests, organisers and volunteers with an unknown substance, forcing the conference’s third day to be cancelled.
A case into the assault—which was considered to be homophobic, a virtually unprecedented step in Russia—was only opened in August, but the attackers were apprehended and are awaiting trial.
“They won’t win because we don’t give up. We know we are in the right here, so we won’t stop fighting.”
— Nadeshda Aronchik
Aronchik believes the person responsible for this year’s attack is related to the far-right group who orchestrated the one last year. Her suspicion is reinforced by messages the conference organisers received after the November 9 attack.
“After the attack, the organisers received threats through calls and SMS saying they should ‘die’ and ‘burn in hell’ and saying, ‘How did you like our present? Last year was only the beginning,’” Aronchik says, adding that they reported the threats to the police.
Authorities’ attitudes to LGBT+ activists were ‘as friendly as Russian police can be’
Aronchik describes the police’s attitude to the LGBT+ activists as “ambiguous.”
“They were as friendly as Russian police can be,” she says. She accompanied the LGBT+ activists targeted in the attack to the police, as she had experience doing so from the previous experience.
Aronchik recalls: “The policeman was semi-friendly—he had some homophobic and misogynistic statements but not as homophobic as I’ve experienced before, so it was kind of fine.
“He asked what happened and every time he mentioned something homophobic I told him he was out of line and should mind his job rather than commenting on what the guys are saying. So all in all I’d say, for the Russian police, it was OK.”
Rights group Human Rights Watch (HRW) condemned the attack in a statement on Tuesday.
“It is totally unacceptable for activists to face threats and attacks simply for holding a conference,” said Graeme Reid, HRW director of the LGBT rights program. “The Russian authorities need to do more to ensure that these threats and attacks stop.”
Conference organisers are not giving up
The LGBTQIAPP+ Family Conference aims to bring together activists, psychologists, therapists, educators and health professionals who would not otherwise have the possibility to receive information as to how to best support the LGBT+ community.
Nadeshda Aronchik, a conference organiser who was targeted in a similar attack last year, headed to the police station with the LGBT+ activists to report the incident.
This year’s conference could not go ahead as planned. “We managed to provide video seminars on Saturday [November 10] and tried to provide workshops on Sunday. But unfortunately the address got out again and we received direct threats regarding further attacks. Thus we decided to cancel the afternoon sessions for the security of our participants and volunteers,” Aronchik says.
“It was devastating that the work of six months just vanished,” she continued. “But I decided not to give up und we are already planning to make one day of the conference take place in December.”
Aronchik says she and the other conference organisers have vowed to continue doing their work in spite of the threats. “They won’t win because we don’t give up. We know we are in the right here, so we won’t stop fighting,” she says.
The organisers’ biggest issue at the moment is funding, as they can’t afford to rent a venue and they also need to provide security. “We are currently looking for donors or any other help in Moscow and outside,” Aronchik says,
Jeff Rohrer (left) and Joshua Ross will marry one another this Sunday.Allen Zaki
With Jeff Rohrer, you have to expect the unexpected.
When the 6-foot-3, 235-pound former Dallas Cowboys linebacker approached our table in the corner of a dimly lit Beverly Hills restaurant a couple of weeks ago, he was dressed like a stereotypical straight guy, clothes on the baggy side, carrying an over-sized duffel bag… and a delicately clenched martini.
Sitting down, he quickly launched into some questions for me, as well as ground rules for our conversation. He was nervously hopeful about this entire public coming-out process and the small collection of writers he had to open up to with his story. He wanted to share his story, but not all of it. Not yet.
Still, as we tip-toed into some questions about the first 59-plus years of his life it was clear Rohrer had a lot to say. There was an understated excitement about him, giving long, detailed answers to simple questions, like he couldn’t share his story quickly or deeply enough.
He’d been lying to himself about his own life for so long that now, with the opportunity to finally tell himself and the rest of the world hid truth, he just couldn’t talk fast enough.
The appetizer had barely been cleared before there was suddenly a redness in Rohrer’s eyes as conversation turned to his revelations since meeting his fiancé. His pace of speaking slowed.
As he talked about the reaction to his private coming out to some of his Cowboys teammates, his ex-wife, his friends in Los Angeles’ beach communities, and almost everyone else in his life, Rohrer became emotionally present with something bubbling inside of him.
I asked him what that was.
“Oh boy,” he said, quickly covering his face with his black napkin, a moment of raw emotion he simply hadn’t yet let out. We sat in silence for the better part of a minute, him present with the last few months of his life. When he pulled the napkin away, his eyes were scorched and watery.
”The kindness of my friends and my family and my teammates” he said, his voice trembling, pausing between words, doing everything he could to express the sudden joy that enveloped his new gay life. “It’s just been fucking ridiculous how nice they have been, and how supportive. And how they don’t care about any of that. They just love me, they always have. Nothing’s changed. Nothing’s changed.”
It was like a fog had lifted from his sight, and he saw his own kindness — years of generosity with teammates and friends — coming back to him. When his friends and family and teammates had told him over the years that they loved him, they really meant it. Who he had been with them in that time was far more important to them than what he is.
”To know that at a time like this, that they have my back, it’s fucking amazing. I never expected it. I figured the world is fucked, but it’s not. It’s amazing. It’s fucking amazing.”
A Dallas Cowboy marrying the man he loves
This Sunday at a not-so-small ceremony in Southern California, Rohrer will marry his boyfriend of two-plus years, Joshua Ross.
This was inconceivable for Rohrer just a few years ago. He had never, while he was playing in the NFL for the Cowboys or at any point during his marriage to his wife, dated men, had a boyfriend or had any kind of gay experience. While he pursued a life he loved, with people he still loves very much, there was still something he knew was a secret bubbling inside of him, a secret he could never let out.
Jeff Rohrer is a man on a mission to open hearts and minds to gay people.Allen Zaki
“So many nights I cried myself to sleep, feeling like I was the Wolfman, or Jekyll and Hyde, or Frankenstein, some kind of monster that only comes out when it’s a full moon, always living in the shadows.”
It was an evening about three years ago that Rohrer let the Wolfman out, quietly making his way up Robertson Blvd. for an after-work cocktail at the popular gay West Hollywood watering hole, Tortilla Republic. Not out to anyone, he was simply “working in the area” and “wanted to avoid rush-hour traffic.” Like ya do.
It was there at the bar that he struck up a conversation with a young man named Josh. Sparks didn’t fly that night, but Rohrer said leaving the bar with the young man’s contact information, he knew he wanted to spend more time with Ross.
”I think we both knew where it was going.”
Where it was going was a place Rohrer had never been before. Still living with his ex-wife and with a career in the entertainment industry, he had built a story for his own life that revolved around family, film and football.
Yet he just had to see Ross again. It was a burning desire he had squelched in the past. All the while it had been there under the surface for years, something in his late 50s he simply couldn’t deny anymore.
“My experience is that people are born gay, and anyone who wants to dispute that I’d be happy to have a conversation with them, including Mike Pence. I’d love to sit down with him.”
Once a Cowboy, always a Cowboy
Rohrer played for the Dallas Cowboys for six seasons, spending his final 1988 season on the sideline with an injury. By the time Jimmy Johnson arrived in Dallas in 1989, ushering in an era of youth and renewed excitement, Rohrer was part of the old guard, and injured on top of that. Rohrer never played a down in the regular season for Johnson.
Before his NFL career was cut short, he was an integral part of America’s team. Over the course of those six seasons with the Cowboys he started 41 games for legendary coach Tom Landry, racking up 7.5 sacks and four fumble recoveries, all in his final four seasons.
When he was drafted in the second round out of Yale, some people scratched their heads — sports columnist Jim Lassiter called him “unheard of.” When Rohrer got the draft call from Cowboys player personnel guru Gil Brandt, he was studying for a final — He thought the call was a prank by friends.
Mind you, this was when the Ivy League was no slouch. His Yale Bulldogs won the Ivy League each of his last three seasons. While a second-round draft pick may have been a reach at the time, success surrounded Rohrer.
Jeff Rohrer played in the NFL for the Dallas Cowboys in the 1980s.Photo courtesy of Jeff Rohrer
In football, where he excelled wildly and crafted a professional career, Rohrer found a constant reason to keep his true feelings silent.
“Living with my family in that [Southern California] community, it was not acceptable. That was not part of the plan, and it wasn’t going to happen. When I went to Yale, it was the same thing there. And then I got drafted by the Cowboys. What am I going to do, come out then?”
The inertia of his life from youth to the NFL was unquestioned. He was just another red-blooded American boy playing football. “Straight” was simply assumed.
”Football is a gladiator sport. It’s very, very physical, very tough. At least at this point in our society, toughness is not associated with the gay community. It’s not a natural fit to a lot of people.”
Despite the perception, Rohrer isn’t sure he ever heard a gay slur in the Cowboys locker room.
“It was a football locker room, like every other locker room I’ve ever been in. Nothing was anti-gay.”
That reflects my interview with Cowboys Hall of Famer Michael Irvin several years ago. In that conversation The Playmaker said he believed that if a teammate had come out as gay to the rest of the Cowboys in the 1990s, they would have accepted him and moved on.
”I would agree with Michael,” Rohrer said. “The generation before him, I would say that’s true as well. I’m not sure about the Cowboy leadership, but the team, knowing the guys and especially how they have reacted to me so far, they wouldn’t have cared.”
Rohrer certainly would have never made that observation while he was in the middle of his Cowboys career. Whether or not there were gay slurs thrown around the locker room, there is a machismo in virtually every football locker room that seems to send an unspoken message exuding heterosexism.
Yet Rohrer now feels that aura is a lot of bluster. Yes, strength and power are admired in an NFL locker room. They are mandatory. But that doesn’t mean that strength and power must come from a straight guy.
“In professional football the game is so hard, and you have to be so good, and you have to be so spot on to make it, let alone to start, that there isn’t a lot of time to give much thought to somebody’s sexual orientation. It’s brutal. You get halfway through the season and half the guys are hurt. It’s a game of survival and courage, and there’s really not a lot of time for that kind of nonsense.”
Yet in the midst of his career, Rohrer couldn’t see the accepting forest through the trees.
60 going on 16
On Christmas Day, Rohrer will turn 60. He jokes that Ross, a skin-care expert who grew up in Texas not far from the very stadium in which Rohrer played, insisted they get married before then so he wasn’t marrying someone in his 60s. Despite approaching retirement age, Rohrer said he hasn’t felt younger in literally decades.
In part that’s due to dating. While he certainly dated young women in his teens, and eventually married, the dating scene lacked for him the level of excitement that his buddies seemed to experience in their younger years. Now he knows what it felt like for his straight teen friends all those decades ago.
”I feel like I’m 16,” Rohrer said. “I feel revived. Like I’m born again. Again.”
He joked that some of his straight friends today are jealous of his new lifestyle. When he describes his week-to-week life to them, they can’t believe how much fun he’s having. Plus, he’s even looking younger, slimming down to near his playing weight at an age when so many of his friends and former teammates are headed in the opposite direction.
”I am in better shape now than I’ve been in in 20 years. I’m healthier than I have been in 20 years. I’m very, very happy.”
Gay acceptance is present in football
While he was playing football, Rohrer felt that this secret feeling inside of him was a curse.
“I asked God all the time, What is this? Why am I this person?”
The answer to his questions is finally being returned to him all these years later. At a time when acceptance of gay people is at an all-time high, there are still corners of our culture where homophobia runs rampant. Beyond finding a happiness he never thought possible for himself, he now has the opportunity to break into the dark corners of that culture where anti-gay sentiment festers.
A big, tough former NFL player on America’s Team, he’s a “straight talker” who would – quite literally if need be – give someone the shirt off his back. It’s hard to not like a guy like that. When he was married to a woman, a lot of people in places like Texas liked him very much. If it was hard to not like him when he was straight and married to a woman, for those very same people it will now be hard to not like him now that he’s gay and marrying a man.
”I’m not going to change the world, but we can at least get the message out there that it’s OK and I’m proud of where I am. I’m not ashamed. I’m not the Wolfman anymore. My family and friends are 100% behind me. That kind of message can maybe move the ball forward a little bit.”
Truth is, he’s faced very little negative reaction. Rohrer said he has told a handful of former Cowboys teammates, but word has spread through the “Cowboys family” very quickly. The level of acceptance has been far beyond his imagination.
Until just this year he couldn’t get his head around the idea that this extended family would ever accept him as a gay man. Yet with Josh’s prodding and support, Rohrer has given the people around him the opportunity to know the real Jeff Rohrer.
“It’s given me a new view on life and society and people and our country. I would have never expected it. I have just as many right- and left-leaning friends, and it doesn’t matter, the support cuts right through all of them.”
The chance to come out publicly as gay
Rohrer is now a successful commercial producer in Los Angeles. His Hollywood career has taken him where his NFL playing days never did: the Super Bowl. In the last few years he’s produced three Super Bowl commercials, for Doritos, Heinz and the NFL.
Coming out publicly in a couple of media appearances wasn’t what Rohrer had in mind ahead of his wedding. For the last couple of years he and Josh have lived what Rohrer called an “unnoticed” life together. Last year they attended the wedding of a gay couple — Josh’s friends in New York. Rohrer was painfully nervous about attending, as he figured the entire world would recognize the former Cowboy with a young man on his arm and he’d be outed.
Yet there was no Page Six article. No rumors swirled around the Cowboys family. Rohrer learned then that he could live his life more openly and gradually ease into his new love. It’s a lesson various gay former professional athletes have learned.
The wedding has made it easier to tell the people around him that he’s gay. In fact, he used the wedding invitations to do just that. When he sent out invitations to hundreds of people earlier this year, some of them replied with “Oh you’re so funny,” thinking it was Rohrer’s joking way of inviting them to an early 60th birthday party for himself.
When he explained that it wasn’t a joke, and he was indeed marrying his boyfriend, that got some phone calls.
“People are floored. I guess I was a really good actor.”
Now his impending marriage is also making it easier to tell the world. When he and Ross talked about their wedding, they asked their friend, Camille Grammer, about sharing the story with the world on their own terms. Ross, founder of SkinLab, has had his business featured on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, in which Grammer has starred. Grammer introduced them to publicist Howard Bragman, who has taken dozens of athletes and celebrities out of the closet, including Michael Sam, Esera Tuaolo and John Amaechi. Now the couple gets to, as they hoped, tell their story in their own words.
Best of all, instead of some public announcement simply for the purpose of announcing his sexual orientation to the world, Rohrer and his fiancé Ross are featured in the New York Times and here on Outsports for their wedding.
Doctors provide medical care to participants of a transgender rights march after an attack by far-right groups activists in Kiev on November 18, 2018. (Sergei Supinski /AFP/Getty)
Far-right militants attacked a rally in support of trans rights held in Ukraine on Sunday (November 18).
Led by the non-governmental organisation Insight, trans rights campaigners gathered in Ukraine capital’s Kiyv to demand an end to transphobia ahead of Transgender Day of Remembrance, observed on November 20.
According to American journalist Christopher Miller, who reported about the rally on Twitter, a group of religious and far-right militants confronted the LGBT+ activists early in the afternoon at a park in the city, forcing them to change the location of the rally.
Holding banners, rainbow and transgender flags, a group of around 40 LGBT+ campaigners relocated in front of the University metro station, to continue their legally-sanctioned rally.
But counter-protesters attacked them with smoke bombs, shouting homophobic slurs.
A woman talks to a policeman as police disperse participants of the march of transgender people to prevent from attack of far-right groups activists in Kiev on November 18, 2018. (Sergei Supinski /AFP/Getty)
“Things got heated. Police made no attempts to move radicals and instead shoved LGBT activists into metro. As they did, they swore and used hateful slurs to describe them” Miller wrote, describing the events on Twitter.
Far-right Violence at trans rights rally part of growing trend
Among those injured were two women who had to receive medical treatment in the underground station after being pepper-sprayed, AFP reported.
“Today’s events have demonstrated that the level of far-right radical aggression and violence is increasing in Ukraine,” the NGO Insight wrote in a statement on Facebook after the trans rights rally, decrying the authorities’ failure of guaranteeing their safety and support for human rights.
LGBT+ campaigners in Ukraine have previously held various demonstrations, including gay pride celebrations. But as the arrest of 56 far-right protesters seeking to disrupt the annual Kiyv pride earlier this year suggests, homophobia remains widespread.
Activists of far-right groups hold placards and flags as they protest against the transgender rights march in Kiev on November 18, 2018. (Sergei Supinski /AFP/Getty)
Ahead of the trans rights rally, Amnesty International Ukraine denounced “a wave of threats” from radical groups directed at participants and organisers of LGBT+ events.
“We hope that law enforcement will fulfil its duty at the highest level and protect the right of citizens to peaceful gatherings,” the Amnesty International statement read.
Canadian journalist Michael Colborne, who was also covering the trans rights march, was punched in the face. “This country has a huge far-right problem. Stop downplaying it,” he wrote in one of his tweets.
Colborne also criticised the authorities for how they handled the far-right militants confronting the LGBT+ campaigners’ peaceful demonstration.
“A pretty poor job, considering this ain’t my first rodeo covering LGBT/far-right in this city. You’ve let a mob of far-right kids boss around a group of less than 100 #трансмарш2018 #transmarchukraine marchers & push them somewhere else. Terrible job, guys. Terrible.”
Activists of far-right groups hold placards and flags as they protest against the transgender rights march in Kiev on November 18, 2018. (Sergei Supinski /AFP/Getty)
Canadian ambassador to Ukraine Roman Waschuk posted a tweet in solidarity with the Canadian journalist.
“Criminal and hateful actions by far-right radicals deserve an effective and dissuasive policing response. [The Ukrainian national police] have shown they can do it at past LGBT events; they need to reassert commitment to media protection and human rights for all,” Waschuk wrote.
Ukraine’s ambassador to Canada Andriy Shevchenko also expressed consternation at news of Colborne’s assult.
“As a Ukrainian diplomat and a journalist, I am upset and disappointed by the attack on Michael Colborne. It is not the Kyiv we love and cherish. The perpetrators should be quickly brought to justice!”
Trans people have been beheaded, gunned down and stoned to death, according to a new report.
It highlights the 369 trans, non-binary and gender-variant people, at least, who were murdered in the 12 months from 1 October 2017 to 30 September 2018.
28 of the trans murder victims were reported to be teenagers, with some as young as 16.
There were five beheadings. Nine people were stoned to death.The majority of the people killed were trans women of color, often gunned down or beaten to death.
Brazil still has the most reported trans murders in the world
The Trans Day of Remembrance update has seen an increase of 43 cases compared to last year’s update, and 73 cases compared to 2016.
Brazil (167 murders) and Mexico (71), once again, lead the list of the most reported killings of trans women and men.
The United States has seen 28 trans people killed, an increase from last year’s 25.
Other killings have been reported in Pakistan, Colombia, France, the UK, and elsewhere around the world.
But these horrifying numbers are just the tip of the iceberg.
Beheaded, gunned down, and shot to death
Media organizations – including normally reputable names – are often guilty of misgendering the victims when they are trans, making it even more difficult to get a real sense of the problem.
And there are multiple countries, many in Africa, where we have little knowledge of the violence happening against trans people. The highest numbers have been found in countries with strong trans movements that carry out professional monitoring.
‘We cannot estimate a number, but indeed what we can register is just a small fraction,’ Lukas Berredo, from Transrespect vs Transphobia Worldwide, told Gay Star News.
The majority of the people killed, 62%, were sex workers.
Christa Leigh Steele-Knudslein, trans and intersex, was a LGBTI rights advocate living in Massachusetts. She was also a founder of the Miss Trans America beauty pageant.
She was found dead in her home on 5 January. Her husband confessed to striking his wife with a hammer before stabbing her in the back. Christa was 42.
Azul ‘Blue’ Montoro, a 26-year-old sex worker, was killed in Cordoba, Argentina.
She was stabbed 18 times in a friend’s apartment. She only died when the final stab, the 19th, came at her throat.
Fernando Lino da Silva, a 21-year-old, was a trans man living in Maceió, Brazil. He was just watching TV when he was shot to death.
Naomi Hersi, 36, was stabbed to death in a London hotel in March. Her murderer was recently jailed for 20 years.
Naomi Hersi
Hajira, in Pakistan, was tortured to death before she was beheaded. She had been dead for several days before being discovered.
A government contractor refused to bury the body. It is unknown why. It may because she was beheaded or she was a transgender woman.
Vanesa Campos was a sex worker in Paris. Immigrated from Peru two years before, she was shot by a mob as she tried to prevent one of her clients from being robbed.
Her killing sparked protests about the treatment of sex workers in France.
S. A. Sánchez López was murdered on 19 November last year. She was 41, deaf, and living in Nicaragua. She was beaten to death for ‘no reason’.
Devudamma Surya Naryana, 47, was electrocuted to death in her home in India.
And Nikolly Silva, a 16-year-old, was stoned to death at dawn in Cabo Frio, Brazil.
Why we remember
These are just a few names and faces of a list that can only begin to imagine the scope of transphobic murders that happen worldwide every year.
Trans people run the risk of losing their lives just for being who they are.
Berredo added: ‘Trans Day of Remembrance is a date in which we remember and honour the trans and gender-diverse people whose lives has been taken away from us.
‘It is a mourning day, and it is also a day to be together with our communities, to keep existing and resisting.’
With a new policy rolling out, public schools in Washington, DC, are slated to become some of the first in the United States to allow students to enroll as non-binary.
According to a report from the Washington Post, starting next school year, families can select non-binary for students on forms, rather than simply male or female.
The DC public school system confirmed the news with a tweet.
Interim chancellor Amanda Alexander of the school system said in a statement: ‘We value the whole child at [D.C. Public Schools], and have worked diligently to ensure our schools are safe and inclusive for all students, staff, and families.’
DC joins the likes of Oregon and Minneapolis, who allow students to enroll with a third gender ‘x’ or tell their school and teachers they have a preferred name and do not identify as male or female.
Through these enrollment forms, DC teachers will know which of their students identifies as non-binary. This removes the burden from these students or their families having to inform the teachers.
Further, knowing the number of non-binary students in the system also allows for the better allocation of resources.
‘It’s a step in the right direction,’ said Jessica Raven, an activist and mother of a trans daughter in the school system. ‘I hope that it will lead to better accommodation to trans, non-binary and gender-expansive youth.’
This move by the DC public school system is the latest in US locations recognizing these identities.
Beyond schools, numerous states have introduced legislation allowing people to choose a third gender option on various identification forms.
A new report has shed light on the horrific epidemic of violence against transgender people in the US, ahead of the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance.
The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Foundation report, released on November 19, looks at the high levels of violence against America’s transgender community, who are disproportionately more likely to face violent attacks than the general population.
The report, titled “Epidemic: Fatal Anti-Transgender Violence in America in 2018,” found that at least 22 transgender people have been murdered in the US so far this year.
The actual number may be higher, as there is no official data collection on crimes against trans people, and monitors frequently have to rely on LGBT+ community sources.
“We must address the root causes of violence to make our communities safer for everyone. It is unacceptable that transgender and gender-expansive people are killed simply because of who they are.”
Human Rights Campaign Foundation
The report included some shocking statistics about the murder victims.
82 percent of the identified victims were transgender women of colour, while 55 percent of the deaths occurred in Southern states.
Research also found that 74 percent of identified transgender murder victims were misgendered (referred to using their birth gender) or deadnamed (referred to using their birth name) in initial police or media reports surrounding their deaths.
File photo. Candles mark the Transgender Day of Remembrance.
Many police forces across the US still insist on using the name or gender listed on the victim’s ID in reports, even when it is several years out of date, while local news organisations are frequently both reliant on official police channels for information, and lacking in expertise on transgender issues.
Experts say the practice can cause significant harm to police investigations during the most critical phase, because people with information may only know the victim by their chosen name, and because misgendering fosters mistrust of police within the transgender community.
HRC calls for action On Transgender Day of Remembrance
The report states that in addition to direct hate-motivated violence, the systemic discrimination faced by transgender people in education, employment and family life can push them into circumstances such as as sex work where they are more likely to face violence.
It notes: “Transgender people face devastating levels of discrimination and harassment in the workplace.
“These barriers are even higher for Black transgender people, who have double the unemployment rate of all transgender people, and four times that of the US general population.
“With limited access to workplaces that are affirming and inclusive, transgender and gender-expansive people are put at greater risk for poverty, homelessness and involvement with criminalised work.
“Together, these factors put transgender people at an increased risk of violence and danger.”
HRC called to address the root causes of violence make communities safer. “It is unacceptable that transgender and gender-expansive people are killed simply because of who they are,” the report stated.
It added: “For far too long in our society, transgender people—and especially transgender women of color—have faced blatant discrimination and severe violence simply for being who they are. In order for this to change, we must all take action to dismantle the barriers that dehumanize, delegitimize and endanger transgender lives.”
What is Transgender Day of Remembrance?
The report comes ahead of the Transgender Day of Remembrance on November 20, an annual day of remembrance for trans murder victims across the world.
The Transgender Day of Remembrance was first held on November 20, 1998, following the murder of Rita Hester, a transgender African-American woman in Massachusetts. Organised by volunteers from the transgender community, it has since grown into an international commemoration.
Vigils are held across the world to mark the day, at events where the full list of victims is read.
Transgender people take part in a candle light vigil for the Transgender Day of Remembrance in Bangalore on November 20, 2015. (MANJUNATH KIRAN/AFP/Getty)
A list of transgender murder victims published by the Remembering Our Dead Project includes 310 known victims in the past year.
HRC President Chad Griffin said: “On Transgender Day of Remembrance, we join together to mourn the lives lost to hate and violence this past year and rededicate ourselves to the urgent action that this epidemic requires.
“From anti-trans employment and housing discrimination to systemic racism, we must recognize the intersecting factors that influence, motivate and embolden the violence that plagues so many within the transgender community — particularly Black and Latina transgender women.
Griffin added: “White, cisgender men like me have a unique responsibility to support our transgender siblings in combating this violence, and join fully in the work to achieve equality for every person in the LGBTQ community.”
Supporters of the transgender community in Taiwan light candles during the Transgender Day of Remembrance in 2014. (SAM YEH/AFP/Getty)
Jay Brown of HRC Foundation said: “At least 128 transgender people—the vast majority transgender women of colour—have been killed [in the US] in the last five years.
“But most people can’t even name one victim—one human being who left behind family, friends and a future. We must do better.
“Solidarity means showing up, speaking out, saying their names and steadfastly working to change the realities that conspire to put transgender people at risk of violence. We can do better.”
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