Opinions

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Biden must stand up for LGBTQ Iranians

“I was arrested four times by the moral police because of being trans and because of my appearance. They also flogged me.”— A respondent to a 2020 survey by the Iranian Lesbian and Transgender Network (6Rang). 

Each June, LGBTQ Americans celebrate Pride month, notwithstanding the continuing challenges they face due to their sexual orientation or gender identity. Unfortunately, for their counterparts in Iran, Pride month—and every month—is Fear Month, a month of hiding who they are and whom they love in order to avoid arrest, imprisonment, flogging, and even execution. 

The Iranian regime began persecuting LGBT citizens immediately after coming to power in the Islamic Revolution of 1979. Iran’s first “supreme leader,” Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, justified executing homosexuals as necessary to “eliminate corruption,” likening them to gangrene and claiming the condemned would otherwise “contaminate others and spread.” 

The regime has entrenched homophobia and transphobia in Iran’s legal system. The country’s Islamic penal code forbids consensual sex between two persons of the same sex. The law reflects pernicious gender stereotypes, punishing penetrative intercourse between two men with death for the “passive” party and 100 lashes for the “active” one—unless the latter is married, used coercion, or is not a Muslim, in which case he is also executed. The government gives 100 lashes to women who have sex with women, and executes them upon a fourth conviction for that “crime.”

According to the State Department, the security forces arrest individuals they suspect of being LGBT, force them to undergo “sodomy” checks while in custody, and put them on trial before kangaroo courts that don’t follow basic evidentiary standards. 

These aren’t rare cases. In the aforementioned 6Rang survey, almost 20 percent of participants claimed to have been victims of violence by police officers, security forces, prosecutors, and/or judges. Such violence could be inflicted merely for “different gender expression, breaching binary dress-code norms, insufficient hijab (Islamic veil) or participating in house parties.”

A government policy also outs gay Iranians and thereby endangers their lives. The regime treats homosexuality as a mental illness and consequently exempts gays from military service. Military exemption cards list the legal provision that excuses them from service, and thereby expose Iranians to violence from anyone who sees their cards. Ali Fazeli “Alireza” Monfared, for example, was murdered by family members after his half-brother opened a letter containing Alireza’s military exemption card.

The regime does permit and subsidizes what would normally be called gender-confirmation surgery, but this theoretically progressive policy is often malevolent in practice. Because Tehran criminalizes sex between two men or two women, the government and mental-health professionals and families pressure gay and lesbian cisgender Iranians to undergo unwanted surgery in order to be able to enter into same-sex relationships without fear of arrest and punishment. 

To add insult to injury, the authorities oppress trans Iranians regardless. One such episode demonstrates the regime’s evil in practice. “I complained to the police many times because of being assaulted on the streets and on the metro,” a participant in the 6Rang study said, “but because I had an earring, they asked me, ‘Why are you like this?,’ meaning feminine. I told them I am transgender. Then, they [the police] wanted to have sex with me and abuse me. When I didn’t accept that, they detained me for many days. After that they sent me to the court and the legal doctor. They kept threatening me that if they find out I have had sex with a man, they will hang me. After two weeks they finally released me, but all this time they had not even informed my family about me.”

On Pride month and every month, the United States must help LGBT Iranians. In his message proclaiming Pride month, President Biden said: “My administration is also working to promote and protect LGBTQ+ human rights abroad. LGBTQ+ rights are human rights, which is why my administration has reaffirmed America’s commitment to supporting those on the front lines of the equality and democracy movements around the world, often at great risk.”

The president must come through on his eloquent promise. He can start by sanctioning Iranian officials responsible for violating the human rights of LGBT people. He can use his renewal of our international alliances to encourage friendly and partner countries to likewise issue such sanctions. And he can prioritize human rights—including LGBT rights—in his administration’s ongoing diplomatic engagement with Iran. 

LGBT Iranians won’t be safe until their government is held accountable for abusing them. The U.S. cannot do so unilaterally, but we can and must lead the way.

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How do you solve the Kyrsten Sinema problem?

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Attendees of the White House reception for Pride month last week included high-profile LGBTQ leaders from activist groups, state legislatures, and the federal government. One lawmaker, however, was conspicuously absent.

Sen. Kyrsten Sinema (D-Ariz.), the only out bisexual in Congress, didn’t attend the event — an absence that stood out as members of the House LGBTQ Congressional Equality Caucus were there. Sen. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.), Sinema’s LGBTQ companion in the Senate, also showed up and was in the front row for President Biden’s remarks.

When the Washington Blade reached out to Sinema’s office to ask why the senator skipped the reception, her staff confirmed she had been invited.

“Kyrsten was invited, but was unable to attend as the Senate had recessed Thursday evening for state work period,” said Hannah Hurley, a Sinema spokesperson.

But the Senate recess didn’t stop Baldwin from attending the Pride reception.

It’s not the only event Sinema has skipped in recent weeks. When Vice President Kamala Harris hosted a dinner at the White House for all women members of the Senate, Sinema was the only Democrat not in attendance.

The absence of Sinema is almost metaphorical as she has become the target of ire for progressives who view her as an obstructionist to their agenda in the Senate.

Sinema, as she articulated in a recent op-ed for the Washington Post, has come out in strong defense of the filibuster in the Senate, which has been criticized as a relic of structuralism racism (although she’s not the only Senate Democrat to oppose dropping the filibuster).

“It’s no secret that I oppose eliminating the Senate’s 60-vote threshold,” Sinema writes. “I held the same view during three terms in the U.S. House, and said the same after I was elected to the Senate in 2018. If anyone expected me to reverse my position because my party now controls the Senate, they should know that my approach to legislating in Congress is the same whether in the minority or majority.”

As a result of her position, Sinema has been accused of holding up key legislation like the Equality Act, which would expand LGBTQ protections under the law. (It should be noted the bill as it stands doesn’t have unanimous support in the Democratic caucus and wouldn’t even pass without the filibuster on a majority vote.)

Also, the dramatic thumbs down she gave on the Senate floor on an amendment to raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour was interpreted as an insult to progressives pushing for the increase.

The transition for Sinema is remarkable. Starting her political career for the Arizona Legislature as a Green Party candidate who once dressed up in a tutu to oppose the Iraq war, Sinema’s latest incarnation as a conservative Democrat has some of her one-time supporters scratching their heads.

That will make things complicated for LGBTQ advocacy groups like the Human Rights Campaign and the LGBTQ Victory Fund, which have endorsed her efforts to win election, and for Democrats who sold her as the only out bisexual in Congress.

Sinema, after winning election in 2018 to a six-year term, will be in the Senate for a while and won’t face re-election until 2024. But progressives are already clamoring for LGBTQ advocacy groups to take a hard line with her regarding any future support.

Michelangelo Signorile, a progressive activist and Sinema critic, went so far in an email to the Blade as to say LGBTQ groups should withhold their endorsements entirely from Sinema.

“LGBTQ groups definitely shouldn’t be endorsing anyone blocking the Equality Act from being passed. Right now that includes every Republican and Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema, who refuse to eliminate the filibuster,” Signorile said. “So of course they shouldn’t endorse her. How could the Human Rights Campaign or Victory Fund have any credibility while telling the community to invest hard-earned dollars with this politician?”

Sinema has always taken a one-foot-in, one-foot-out approach to her sexual orientation as a political figure. Accepting endorsements from LGBTQ groups, Sinema has attended events after her election hosted by them, such as an event with new LGBTQ members of Congress upon her election to the U.S. House in 2012. But Sinema has dodged questions about her bisexuality, telling the Washington Post in 2013 she doesn’t understand “why it’s big deal.”

The LGBTQ Victory Fund, for its part, is putting a degree of distance between itself and Sinema in response to inquires from the Blade, but not repudiating its support for her entirely.

Elliot Imse, a Victory Fund spokesperson, said his organization endorsed Sinema when the choice for Arizona voters was between her and “the anti-LGBTQ Republican candidate Martha McSally.”

“She is not currently endorsed by Victory Fund and we won’t be considering 2024 endorsements until summer 2023 – and much will happen between now and then,” Imse said. “As with all our incumbent candidates, the Victory Campaign Board will review her efforts to advance equality while in office as it is a key criteria for our endorsement.”

In response to an inquiry on whether the Victory Fund has reached out to Sinema about her policy positions, Imse said that would be inconsistent with his organization’s mission.

“Victory Fund has a very clear mission and we believe organizations are most successful when they remain laser-focused on that mission – so we do not take positions on specific policy or procedural questions,” Imse said. “We endorse and support LGBTQ candidates who will fight for and advance equality legislation and policies once in office and the LGBTQ members of Congress we’ve helped elect are the most outspoken and passionate voices on the Equality Act and other LGBTQ rights legislation.”

Having that “laser-focus,” however, isn’t true for other LGBTQ political groups, which do both endorsements and lobbying before Congress. Chief among them is the nation’s largest LGBTQ group, the Human Rights Campaign.

The Human Rights Campaign, however, didn’t respond to multiple requests for comment on Sinema or any discussions the organization has with her. That silence, however, likely won’t be enough for progressive activists angered with Sinema.

Signorile said Sinema’s absence from the White House should be seen as a red flag for LGBTQ advocacy groups on any future support.

“Sinema, by not attending Pride at the WH, doesn’t even make herself visible there. It’s almost like she wants to distance herself from being part of the community,” Signorile said. “She never talks about being bisexual, doesn’t discuss her coming out story — even if you ask her — and I defy anyone to find me a recent time in which she’s discussed being part of this community.”

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Biden administration working for equity in the workplace

Pride month is a chance for LGBTQ+ people to be proud and visible in a world that tells us not to be. Pride month is a chance to celebrate and honor the work of LGBTQ+ people as we fight every day for equity and inclusion in society, in the law and in our workplaces. 

Thanks to the tireless work of advocates, we’ve had many recent encouraging wins at the national level:

Last June, in Bostock vs. Clayton County, the Supreme Court affirmed that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act protects employees from discrimination based on their sexual orientation and gender identity.

In January, President Biden issued Executive Order 13988, Preventing and Combating Discrimination on the Basis of Gender Identity or Sexual Orientation, and another executive order on Advancing Racial Equity and Support for Underserved Communities through the federal government, which includes LGBTQ+ persons. He also rescinded a 2020 executive order on Combating Race and Sex Stereotyping that had a chilling effect on diversity and inclusion training programs among federal agencies and contractors.

The Biden-Harris administration has stated strong support for the Equality Act, which would amend existing federal civil rights laws to expressly include non-discrimination protections on the basis of sex (including gender identity and sexual orientation), providing security and equality to LGBTQ+ people in accessing housing, employment, education, public accommodations, health care and other federally funded services, credit and more.

In March, President Biden became the first U.S. president to recognize the Transgender Day of Visibility.

In the past year, anti-racism protests have sparked important conversations around diversity, equity, and inclusion. The Department of Labor has recommitted to being an inclusive workplace, and continues to offer trainings related to sexual orientation and gender identity, including those related to the use of gender-inclusive language and pronouns. I’ve been proud to provide these trainings and support those efforts as a vice president of Pride at DOL, an affinity group for the department’s LGBTQ+ employees and contractors and our allies.

As part of the department’s efforts to implement the sexual orientation and gender identity executive order, our Civil Rights Center – a member of the Title VI/Title IX Interagency Working Group led by the Department of Justice – will serve on the Title IX and Executive Order 13988 Committee. This committee will serve to provide opportunities for interagency collaboration to advance EO 13988’s goal of protecting individuals from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, ensuring the Bostock decision is applied to Title IX and other relevant statutes, and making federal agencies welcoming to LGBTQ+ people.

The department is also working to reverse the impact of the prior administration’s executive order on diversity training. Our Office of Federal Contract and Compliance Programs is examining promising practices for diversity training as one component of broader efforts to eliminate bias from employment practices. In addition, the department is conducting an equity review to better understand how well our policies and programs are reaching historically underserved populations, and launched a related data challenge.

But there is still more work to do, and our pride can come at a price. Being visible sometimes means being exposed to harassment, discrimination, and violence. This is especially true for transgender people, particularly those who are women and people of color. Equity and inclusion require creating an environment — through language, policies and practices — that not only tolerates but recognizes and affirms people’s identities and relationships. Only with this can employers create a sense of belonging and value in their organization.

So as we celebrate Pride month this year and every year, let’s recognize all the work that has been done and that is necessary to keep pushing forward.

B.A. Schaaff (they/he) is an attorney in the U.S. Department of Labor’s Office of the Solicitor and is vice president of Pride at DOL.

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Mother of slain gay youth speaks out

I told myself I would not do it again: explain who I am and who my son was as an introduction to my story. I love writing, but how many times can I talk about the horrific things that happened? What you need to know: he was gay, Jewish, and the victim of a hate crime. This tragedy propelled me into the public eye and gave me a chance to be an outspoken advocate for the LGBTQIA+ community, and it also ended the beautiful life of my son Blaze Bernstein. He should be enjoying gay pride month this June, but instead his body lies in an Orange County cemetery since January 2018. He died at just 19 years of age.

I don’t want to be a captive storyteller, forced to regurgitate our sad truth and the story of how we endured Blaze’s disappearance and violent death. I want to talk about the great things we have accomplished since then and the miraculous things people around the country did and continue to do to show their support for those who identify as queer and for the kindness movement we wholeheartedly embraced when we started #BlazeitForward in honor of Blaze. The story of my brilliant and kind son who was going to change the world, should not start with the horrific ending of his life. The story should start with hope because his life started with and even in death continues to give hope to all of us.

The night he disappeared many of my dreams for my family ended and a radical new timeline began. I came out of the closet as a supporter of LGBTQIA+ and a parent of a gay teen. While Blaze was alive and living in the closet, he was not comfortable with us participating in any activities that would draw attention to his sexual orientation. While we encouraged him to live openly, he was young and we respected his right to “out” himself. We will never know how our failure to educate ourselves and our family on how best to support a gay child impacted the tragedy that came to us.

Our family lived in the shadow of the normative Orange County world that we raised him in that did not understand the needs of gay teenagers or the dangers they face both from alienation that can lead to teen suicide nor did we understand the dangers posed by malevolent outsiders and ignorant peers, teachers and strangers. It was this revelation after his death that spurred our entry into the public eye when the opportunity arose.

My husband Gideon and I made the quick decision that Blaze’s death should herald a new age of sex positivity. We also wanted to do something about the stereotypes and hateful tropes we heard about Jewish people and that inundated the media. While Blaze would not live to see a world where his uniqueness and kindness became an ideal, we live to promote it. We exposed the haters and hate groups as we did the unthinkable: put our mourning on hold and immediately used his death to educate the public about the danger hate groups such as Atomwaffen pose to all of us. We also began promoting the power of kindness to heal our broken world and to promote and support LGBTQIA+ community and ethnic diversity.

As the years after his death progressed, a pattern began to develop. The polarization in political, religious and sexual beliefs became unmanageable in our country. We could not come together to fight the pandemic when it began. Civil unrest ensued. Corruption and racism exposed throughout the United States caused rioting and more polarization. Reforms were proposed. People began to see the need for learning how to have respectful discourse. Some became more sensitive and either apologetic for wrongs against the marginalized or outraged by the way the system has kept us marginalized. No one was left untouched by the violence, inequity, and unhappiness that was left in the wake of the events of the last few years.

We coined the term #BlazeitForward and use it to encourage people to do intentional kind acts in honor of Blaze and his legacy. My husband and I spent the last few years powering the Facebook public group #BlazeitForward where we encourage our members to post stories of kindness, community philanthropy and everyday miracles. We also oversee endowments created in Blaze’s name that fuel college scholarships, the Blaze Bernstein school of Culinary Arts at the Merage Jewish Community Center, annual Orange County School of the Arts conservatory funding, an annual Real Arts internship for the University of Pennsylvania, and annual donations to various foundations such as homeless shelters, Orangewood Foundation, the Human Relations Council, Second Harvest Food Bank, Children’s Hospital of Orange County, Tilly’s Life Center, the Anti-Defamation League, The LGBTQ Center of Orange County, and The City of Hope, to name a few.

In addition to our advocacy for marginalized people and Holocaust education, we speak out against homophobia and hate groups, conversion therapy, bullying and hate speech. We do all of this to give life to Blaze’s legacy of kindness while we await the commencement of the criminal trial set to begin by the fall of this year.

In June we stand proud with good people around the country and celebrate Gay Pride. I cringe at the absurdity that I could not do this with Blaze. We “came out” and support the LGBTQIA+ community because there are parents out there who do not know what to do or say to help their LGBTQIA+ children. Hearing me speak out could be the first time, they learn the importance of giving these kids acceptance and love.

If you want to repair the world, you need to start at home with your own family. Do it right now. Call your younger siblings and tell them you are a proud supporter of this community. Give your teen a hug and tell them that their sexual orientation is not something they need to hide – you love them and support them unconditionally. Tell your kids that hate in any form and for any reason is something you will not support. Educate your kids on hate groups, the Holocaust, the dangers of ethnocentrism and the beauty of diversity. Go to a Pride parade. Show your support for and be curious about people who aredifferent. Listen non-judgmentally to the stories of others. Join the #BlazeitForward group on Facebook. Create a legacy of kindness in your family.

Jeanne Pepper is a writer and the mother of Blaze Bernstein, who was killed in an anti-LGBTQ hate crime.

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Pink triangle: reclaiming a symbol of hate

Humans have used symbols and iconography to communicate and identify things going back to when cave people made the first drawings on the cave walls. This use pre-dates language and the written word, but symbols have remained in use even after language became commonplace.

This use includes symbols and icons used to identify, segregate, promote intolerance and hate for groups of people. This use was especially true when it came to the persecution and systematic targeting by the Nazis under Hitler. The SS created a unique classification system to identify Jews who had to wear a yellow star formed by two triangles and criminals, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and anyone deemed nonconformist, including homosexuals who wore the pink triangle.
As with other groups, the Nazis forced anyone known or suspected to be engaged in homosexual behavior to don the Pink Triangle, proven or not. This behavior included bi-sexuality and those who were transgender men. Typically, this did not include lesbians and transgender women.

It is important to note that early on, we were not singled out for who we were but instead lumped in with criminals or political prisoners and made to wear a colored triangle representing that group of individuals, perhaps giving us more “cover.” Later, the Pink Triangle became one of many colored triangles used to identify individuals and were often combined to show those belonging to more than one group.

It is no wonder that Hitler would target our community given the prominent and visible gay and lesbian culture in Berlin at the time. Even though homosexuality was technically illegal before the rise of Hitler under the Paragraph 175 statute, it was rarely enforced. As was true of so many groups of people, Hitler saw us as a threat to his creation of the perfect race. Similar in many ways to what we continue to face politically and socially today, Hitler was afraid of us. As a result of that fear, he used hate and fear as his weapon and the Pink Triangle as a way to identify, shame, and target us.

Like others persecuted by the Nazis, individuals wearing the Pink Triangle were easily identifiable, making them instant targets by other prisoners and guards in the concentration camps. The Pink Triangle also made it easy to continue the persecution even after the war ended. Many who wore the Pink Triangle were transferred from concentration camps to prisons because it was illegal to be a homosexual.

What is unique about the Pink Triangle, compared to other symbols of identification, segregation, and hate, is that it was reclaimed and turned into a symbol of perseverance, strength, and unity.

Heinze Heger’s 1972 book “The Men With The Pink Triangle” brought greater awareness to the origins and use of the Pink Triangle by the Nazis. As a result, a German gay liberation group used the symbol as a memorial to those early victims and a new symbol of protest. After the Stonewall rebellion, our community took what had once been a symbol of hatred and turned it into a symbol of pride. We have also used it as a symbol of protest, as was seen during the early years of AIDS.

While it has been a small minority, it is important to note that some have criticized using a symbol that originated from hate to represent us. In 1993, senior editor Sara Hart of the gay magazine 10 Percent expressed this and received significant backlash.

As unique as it is to have reclaimed the Pink Triangle as our own, it is easy to overlook its historical significance as time goes by. I look at my lack of knowledge and understanding as a young gay man coming out in the early 1980s and how I initially just knew it to be a symbol of our community without proper context.

Yes, the Pink Triangle is now a symbol of pride, but it should also serve as a reminder of how easy it is to have all we have fought for and earned stripped away from us. As we come upon another season of Pride, we need to understand what our community’s symbols represent now, but we also need to understand their origins and what they represented before.

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Ellen DeGeneres’ show ending underscores the LGBTQ icon’s complex, hypocritical legacy

The announcement that “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” will end in 2022, at the conclusion of 19 seasons and more than 3,000 shows, heralds the end of an era. Ellen’s legacy will be one largely emblematic of the particular culture that she both helped define and represented on her show — a culture of kindness not distinct from that of complicity. Inclusion through assimilation. And visibility earned through performative respectability.

Does culture breed character, or does character breed culture? Ellen reflects the tension of this question.

Does culture breed character, or does character breed culture? Ellen reflects the tension of this question, as, arguably, do we all. The answer is not either/or but both/and. Scorned and — literally — canceled after coming out as a lesbian on her hit sitcom, “Ellen,” in April 1997, Ellen fought for years to rebuild her career. And 2003 proved to be transformative: She voiced the widely adored character of Dory in Disney’s “Finding Nemo,” released in May, and later that year, on Sept. 8, “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” had its inaugural episode.

That Ellen’s coming out served as a watershed cultural moment cannot be overestimated. “It’s easy to forget now, when we’ve come so far,” President Barack Obama said as he awarded Ellen the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2016, “just how much courage was required for Ellen to come out on the most public of stages … just how important it was, not just to the LGBT community but for all of us to see somebody so full of kindness and light, somebody we liked so much, somebody who could be our neighbor or our colleague or our sister, challenge our own assumptions, to remind us that we have more in common than we realize.”

Before Ellen, LGBT representation in entertainment could best be described as the “celluloid closet,” to evoke both Vito Russo’s 1981 book and, later, Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman’s documentary of the same name. During the 1980s and ’90s, the LGBT community was synonymous with death and disease as the HIV/AIDS epidemic swept the nation and the globe. The ’90s brought sweeping federal legislation like the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and “don’t ask, don’t tell,” which both restricted civil rights and sent the message that discriminating against the LGBT community was legal and permissible.

The context for Ellen’s coming out is essential to comprehending its significance. The year before that episode aired, in 1996, Olympian Greg Louganis’ admission that he had HIV at the time of his diving board incident was met with media sensationalism and gay panic; the year after, 1998, Matthew Shepard was tortured and murdered in Colorado.

With network TV’s national audience, Ellen had the opportunity to change how people thought about and related to gay people. She endeavored — quite successfully — to humanize the gay community through the logic of equality and, specifically, the language of sameness. Ellen, like all gay people, was just like you. As Obama remarked, she “could be our neighbor or our colleague or our sister.”

She endeavored — quite successfully — to humanize the gay community through the logic of equality and, specifically, the language of sameness.

And it cannot be over emphasized how much sameness mattered in September 2003, as then-President George W. Bush declared Iraq to be the “central front” in the “war on terror.” It was a time of “us” versus “them.” And Ellen was intent on showing how gay people — gay, god-fearing Americans like her — were very much a part of the “us.”

Likeness fosters likability. Ellen cultivated this through her “Be Kind” motto and her character, which became the living embodiment of this motto. To be welcomed into the homes of millions of Americans — especially the key daytime demographic of straight women — Ellen had to look the part.

The right kind of lesbian is the innocuous one: not too femme and not too masculine. Like Rachel Maddow, the other lesbian welcomed into millions of homes in the evening, Ellen gave the mainstream nonthreatening androgyny — but with just the right touch of lipstick.

This relatability is something that Ellen addresses in her aptly titled Netflix special, “Relatable,” in 2018. But as BuzzFeed’s Shannon Keating so smartly observes, it is this push for relatability — clearly tied to ratings — that trapped “Ellen in a prison of her own making.”

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Ellen DeGeneres’ tone-deaf defense of George Bush reveals the cost of acceptance

The consequential irony of humanizing the gay community for Ellen is that she could not be human — fallible and flawed — herself. As she commented in her interview with “TODAY” show host Savannah Guthrie this week, sexism influences this likability bind, as it does for all women. There is no room for error. There are few, if any, second chances — especially considering that her show is her “second chance,” of sorts. And she has spoken variously, including in “Relatable,” about how the “Be Kind” motto has ultimately boxed her in: “I cannot do anything unkind now, ever. … I have bad days, but I can’t do the things you do because I’m the ‘Be Kind’ girl.”

But an entire generation has passed since “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” premiered. And visibility as a tactic for acceptance, for any marginalized community, is no longer enough. Responsibility for social problems is often placed onto “systems,” yet the fact is that systems are made and managed by privileged people like Ellen, whose actions empower those very systems.

The visibility that Ellen, among countless others, helped usher in is no longer the endgame. And neither is respectability, as Keating observes: “[W]holesome respectability, of universality, of ‘gay people are just like you’ — has fallen out of favor these days with certain more radical groups within the LGBT community.” Autostraddle’s Heather Hogan similarly writes that “calls for civility have most often been used to silence the oppressed … kindness is not justice,” and “being nice isn’t enough.”

Hogan elaborates that “what Ellen has continued to refuse to understand, however, is that … it is not enough to simply publicly wish we could all get along. We can’t. Not because we’re mean, but because we’re arguing about the literal humanity of oppressed people who have suffered — and continue to suffer — endless, compounded violence rooted in white supremacy.”

The culture has changed.

But Ellen hasn’t.

Entering the third decade of the 21st century, ours is a culture where a character based on kindness and likeness rings hollow like T.S. Eliot’s modern man, “stuffed,” corrupt and complicit.

Our culture has moved into an era of authenticity and accountability — a movement heavily resisted by those who cry “cancel culture.” Societal resistance to change is not surprising. But what is surprising is how Ellen has acted (behind the scenes) during this time of cultural change. The past year’s allegations and revelations (which, for industry insiders and queer people with any connection to the community have heard rumors about for years) suggest Ellen’s kindness was a fiction masquerading as authenticity all along.

For example, in her recent interview with The Hollywood Reporter, in which she announced the end of her show, Ellen demonstrates her unwillingness to take responsibility for her behavior, which contributed to the show’s toxic environment. The criticism “was all so stupid,” she said, adding that she “didn’t want to address it” because she “had no platform.”

This is odd, considering that Ellen not only has a following in the millions across several social media channels, she also has own own digital publishing platform, EllenTube.

Instead of acknowledging the power and access she has to take responsibility for her own actions and the actions of her deputies, she doubled down on victimization: “[A]ll I cared about was spreading kindness and compassion, and everything I stand for was being attacked. So, it destroyed me, honestly. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t. And it makes me really sad that there’s so much joy out there from negativity. It’s a culture now where there are just mean people, and it’s so foreign to me that people get joy out of that.”

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The best friend LGBTQ Americans have yet had in the White House

President Joe Biden faces many tough challenges. Foreign adversaries are preparing to test him, rancorous political divisions confront him at home where COVID-19 has ravaged the American economy and spirit. With Washington gridlock threatening to block his most ambitious plans, opportunities for legacy achievements may prove scarce.

Still, in one critical area, Biden can earn an honored place in history: LGBTQ rights. Of all major contemporary American political figures, Biden has been the quickest to take a stand for our rights. He is the best friend LGBTQs have yet had in the White House. I do not say so lightly, I am a lifelong Republican.

From day one, Biden began rolling back the biased policies promoted by Donald Trump’s Marginalizer-in-Chief, Mike Pence. Much damage remains to be undone, especially because the media and many Democrats have gone easy on Pence and his cronies. But Joe himself got off to a fast start placing qualified LGBTQ officials in highly visible positions, including his Cabinet. Secretary of State Tony Blinken set the tone early by flying the rainbow flag at U.S. embassies and naming a special envoy for LGBTQ rights. What a welcome change to have an administration proud of, rather than wary of, its LGBTQ supporters.

Yet much more needs to be done to rid this nation of the cruel blights of LGBTQ stigma and marginalization. There can be neither equality nor equity for people who are systematically stigmatized and marginalized. The cruelty of these violations is evident in a suicide rate among LGBTQ youth five times that of youth in the general population.

A national commission studying patterns, causes, and consequences of LGBTQ stigma, marginalization, and bullying could help awaken Americans to the damage from the prejudices many of us still face. Indeed, older LGBTQs who feel comfortably protected, have a special obligation to defend gay youth who remain vulnerable.

Stigmatization is worse for minority LGBTQs who bear a double burden of bias. BGLM!–Black Gay Lives Matter! Stigma impedes HIV testing and treatment; one consequence is a shocking rate of new HIV-AIDS infections among people of color four times the rate among whites.

Even as we pursue our national struggle to end racial bias, America must recognize our equal moral obligation to expose and repudiate our ugly history of LGBTQ stigmatization and marginalization. How do we stop these evils? Most crucial, we must pass a muscular Equality Act that protects the rights and dignity of all LGBTQs wherever they live in America.

Yet to pass it soon, we must avoid “poison pills” that may doom it to failure. Protection for LGBTQ youth is urgent. Better a bill we can pass now giving us 90% of what we all need, than a failed bill promising 100% of what some wish for.

Education is essential. Students must learn about the sufferings of LGBTQ people and our contributions to humanity and to America. All should be told about LGBTQ civil rights heroes like Bayard Rustin, Harvey Milk, and Barbara Jordan, scientists and thinkers like Alan Turing, George Washington Carver, and Plato, writers like Walt Whitman, James Baldwin, and Henry James, composers like Aaron Copland, Samuel Barber, and Billy Strayhorn, and artists like Michelangelo, Georgia O’Keefe, and Frida Kahlo—the full list is much longer.

Formal recognition of the sufferings and achievements of LGBTQ people is long overdue. As a starter, let’s build an Equality Museum on the Mall to celebrate LGBTQ Americans. No politician has yet ventured to suggest building one; their omission reinforces our marginalized state. President Biden could make history by stepping up.

Although Biden himself has made a strong start on LGBTQ rights, it is a serious mistake for the Democrats to take the gay vote for granted. Polls indicate Trump’s share rose from 16% in 2016 to 28% in 2020. LGBTQs followed a normal tendency to divide more evenly between the parties. In the 2020 campaign Democrats avoided reminding voters that

Trump’s number two, Mike Pence, has been America’s number one stigma super spreader. At the same time, on the QT, they reassured closet Pences among their own. They took us for granted assuming all LGBTQs are Woke Groupthinkers.

In the next election, more LGBTQs who agree with Republicans on issues like Iran, immigration, or taxes will vote GOP if the Democrats fail to raise their ante for us. More Democrats need to follow the leadership Biden is showing on LGBTQ issues.

Biden himself has a big opportunity to become America’s president for LGBTQ rights. But to grasp that opportunity, he will need aggressive initiatives to end stigmatization, celebrate our contributions, and make a crystal clear national commitment to full equality for all LGBTQ peoples.

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Caitlyn Jenner’s gubernatorial run in California is a loser for trans people and the state

There is one positive thing I can say about conservatism: Its systemic fear of the other is quite easily weaponized by its targets.

Enter Caitlyn Jenner, the newest candidate for governor in California.

For those who don’t live here, let me catch you up: Our current governor, Gavin Newsom, was caught having a dinner party in Napaduring the pandemic, right after his administration recommended that Californians not gather for Thanksgiving. Between an alleged $11 billion worth of unemployment benefits the state granted to fraudulent applicants during the Covid-19 outbreak and a dozen other pandemic missteps, a Republican campaign to recall Newsom that actually began pre-Covid started to look to many people in the state like a decent way to rebuke his various indecencies.

Backing a celebrity conservative against an embarrassed Democrat in a recall election has worked once before for the Republicans.

A recall election is now likely — which is why, at a time when more than half of U.S. states are deciding how to enact laws to require broader discrimination against transgender people, Jenner, the reality star (and aspiring pariah), has heeded the call to rip off both taxpayers and the Republican fundraising apparatus.

Holding titles as the gold-medal winner in the 1978 Olympic decathlon and the 17th-place winner for most tolerable character in “Keeping Up With the Kardashians,” Jenner was part of a small contingent of prominent LGBT people effusive in their support of the Trump administration.

Why is not much of a brain teaser: Jenner is rich and wants to stay rich. Actual, material solidarity with other trans people — for whom transition can cost tens of thousands of dollars they often don’t have — could possibly challenge the comfort of her status.

Caitlyn Jenner wins — and the rest of us, trans people and Californians, lose.

She wasn’t going to find a place in the heart of the nation’s trans people, the majority of whom are financially struggling, because she doesn’t really know or appreciate the typical trans experience and has never made any effort to do so.

But in a way, that is fine, because neither do the donors she’s going to spend a recall collection bilking.

The conditions are perfect for the grift. The Republican Party, reeling from a national electoral defeat and its identity as the “party of Lincoln” overshadowed by, among its other acts, its anti-mask, anti-trans, anti-science antics — and a little light treason — has an outside chance of winning the governor’s mansion of the liberal mothership.https://compass.pressekompass.net/compasses/think/could-caitlyn-jenner-earn-your-vote-for-?curl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nbcnews.com%2Fthink%2Fopinion%2Fcaitlyn-jenner-s-gubernatorial-run-california-loser-trans-people-state-ncna1265392&embed=embed&paywall=anonymous

Plus, backing a celebrity conservative against an embarrassed Democrat in a recall election has worked once before for the Republicans.

And here Caitlyn comes: wealthy, white, famous and loves “the queers” but is still iffy on same-sex marriage.

The conditions of the California recall are perfect for the grift.

Caitlyn Jenner is two things in one trans package: She’s both the conservative ideal of a transgender woman (if they have to allow for us to exist at all) in that she has no interest in challenging the gender binary or, really, any status quo; and she’s also the epitome of the critique of trans women supposedly upholding conservative ideas of gender roles through the pursuit of womanly aesthetics made by anti-trans campaigners who claim to be extreme left-wing feminists.

And while I hate to grant that those people are right about anything, getting a bunch of rich old bigots to pay for TV time so you can wring your hands about poor people and foreigners stealing all our benefits is pretty much the gold standard of upholding traditional white womanhood.

The real problem now is that, whatever happens, Caitlyn Jenner wins — and the rest of us, trans people and Californians, lose. She’ll get to do her act, and have it beamed directly into millions of homes across California, on the Republicans’ dime.

And so, whether she ends up as the governor of California or just gets a run on the next season of “The Masked Singer,” she will likely come out of this wealthier, moderately more famous and, if not more accepted, more tolerated by the very political machine that despises and wants to actively institute the legal necessity of discriminating against the children and young adults who haven’t yet grown into adults like her.

It’ll also, either way, be a win for the faux-populist facet of the Republican Party that will try to put anyone with an IMDb page in elected office.

And even if Newsom wins, the Republican Party will come away with just a little more social credibility on LGBT issues that it doesn’t deserve — a morsel of plausible deniability as to its true nature: I’m meeting you halfway, you stupid hippies.

But trans people don’t have to lose because of Jenner’s run. When conservatives point her out as some template of the trans experience, call that out. When your complacent liberal friends who spent their weekends protesting Trump but not Biden’s “overflow facilities” default to low-effort transphobia in defending Newsom, call that out.

And when Jenner eventually goes on “Dancing With the Stars,” maybe use that time slot to watch “Umbrella Academy,” “Pose,” “Dramaworld” or literally any other show starring a trans and nonbinary person not implicated in another person’s death.

Grifters are gonna grift, and trans people exist and are beautiful (if we want to be). But we do not have to countenance the mainstreaming of Jenner normativity.

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Finding Sexual Pleasure in a Modern Pandemic

Taking care of our sexual needs in conventional times has often been a challenge, but with the outbreak of COVID and the ensuing lockdowns, it has become difficult on an entirely different scale. We’ve got to navigate risk, determine our comfort zones and find other who share those same boundaries. The funny thing is, we know how to do this. This is not our first pandemic and gay men have already had to navigate disease, persecution, and violence when pursuing sex. In the face of all of these challenges, we remain resilient and that is perhaps our greatest superpower.

The pandemic and the lockdown policies left many gay men vulnerable economically, physically, and mentally. In a recent survey of LGBT individuals, 30 percent of respondents reported feeling physically and emotionally unsafe in their homes. Over 70 percent report experiencing anxiety since the pandemic began. Very few government policies are in place to meet the unique needs of LGBTQ+ people during COVID, and in places where gay sex is criminalized the fear of arrest or persecution creates an almost insurmountable barrier to much needed health or economic resources.ADVERTISING

Additionally, a majority of gay men reported a very high level of sexual dissatisfaction, particularly those adhering to physical distancing. Such dissatisfaction is not sustainable and eventually gay men are going to take action to have their sexual needs met. It’s natural. Sex is valuable and provides a much-needed social connection. An increase in sexual activity is inevitable but the question becomes what we have learned from this pandemic and how can we apply it to our lives going forward.

Fortunately, over a year of COVID has provided us with many opportunities to learn from this global crisis. Here are some key lessons we can glean from our newest pandemic and its impact on our lives.

Explore all the ways to be sexually satisfied.
Being stuck at home and unable to meet up in person with others brought many of our sex lives to a screeching halt. Fortunately, we were able to adapt with creativity, technology, and, in some cases, a return to the classics. OnlyFans, Zoom sex parties, masturbation clubs, and phone sex were but a few of the tools that helped us get through and get off. PrEPster created a brilliant guide, Navigating COVID When Horny; it was the perfect tool to walk us through all the ways we could still pursue sexual pleasure in the midst of this global pandemic.

Improved sexual communication skills.
In the midst of a pandemic, communication is key. Each of us have different risks we are willing to accept. It gets even more complicated because our comfort level around risk can change daily. This shifting comfort level is something we are familiar with from decades of HIV. The best way forward when navigating risk is clear and honest communication. Tell your partner, or partners, what your boundaries are and ask them about theirs before sex. Our sex is infinitely better if we can let go of the anxiety created by assuming or hoping they know what you want and how far you are willing to go.

It’s okay to prioritize pleasure.
Pandemics suck. We’ve already lived through 40 years of a pandemic that devastated our community and now this new one comes along to pile on top of our existing fatigue. But our existence and our community are testament to the fact that you don’t give up sex just because of a pandemic. In fact, the pandemic can help bring into stark focus just how important sex and pleasure are. We have an opportunity to prioritize sex in our lives and in our movement. The pursuit of sexual fulfillment is intricately linked to our ability to determine what we do with our bodies and that is a fundamental tenant in social justice.

Gay sex spaces matter.
For centuries, gay sex spaces have been a source of community and connection. Not only did they allow us to link up for sexual pleasure, but they allowed us to find those with whom we shared a common experience. It was how we found our people and built a community and social movements. Many of those gay sex spaces are now in danger of closing, if they haven’t already. What plan do we create to keep them alive? As the trajectory of this pandemic changes, there is a great deal of rebuilding that needs to be done. We can’t count on government to maintain the health of gay sex spaces around the globe. It falls to us to find creative ways to keep these spaces open and help them flourish.

Gay sex always finds a way. That should come as a great comfort to us all. Through the darkest days of the AIDS epidemic, we fostered our sexualities. In countries where gay sex is a crime, we defiantly pursue pleasure and intimacy. And we can navigate the calamity of COVID and maintain our sex lives. Our resiliency is our greatest asset and it’s one of the most profound things we can teach others. We don’t survive for sex. We survive because of it.

Alex Garner is Deputy Director, Gay Sexuality and Social Policy Initiative (GSSPI) at UCLA Luskin School of Public Affairs.

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Gender-Policing ‘Jokes’ Are Costing LGBTQ+ Lives

Gender policing? Ever hear of it? Let’s talk about it.

I recently got into a social media scuff with an acquaintance over a comedic video she starred in. The video short stars a woman on a date with a man, and the “funny” part of the video is that she is trying to determine if he is gay or straight based on his clothing and job. Her reactions in the video are those of shock and disgust, often scrunching her face into a grimace that would be appalling in real life as a reaction to a stranger’s clothing. Especially on a date.ADVERTISING

You see, beyond the overall judgmental tone of the video being so 2000 and late, the man in the video is in fact gay, so the “funny” parts according to the actor and producer are that they are leaning into the stereotype intentionally of what a gay man is thought to look like. Completely unaware that they are deciding what is correct clothing for a person based on their sexual orientation.

That is a big problem, and sadly when I confronted my acquaintance about it she told me she would not listen to my messages imploring her to take down the video, and she was shocked I cared so much. When I further pushed her to explain what was funny about the video, she referenced the dated character of “Pat” on Saturday Night Live and likened the character to that. Let’s be clear, in 2020 a gender-ambiguous character like “Pat” would no longer be allowed on SNL because of the inappropriate tone, but I digress, let’s dive into this one a bit more.

The first shock-and-awe moment intended to make us laugh is that the man on the date removes his coat to be wearing the same top as the woman. Shock. Horror. A man in a woman’s blouse instantly means he’s gay? Why is that funny? She couldn’t really answer.

The second big shock is that he works at Claire’s accessories. She instantly mocks him and scrunches her face as if she got a bad whiff of something. Because a man working at a jewelry store is so gay, haha.

The video continues, but you get the point.

You see, as a feminine gay man, I have been gender-policed almost since birth. We all are. Blue is for boys, pink is for girls. It is literally ingrained for most from the time we enter the world. But that doesn’t make it OK, and it certainly shouldn’t make it the subject of comedic relief.

I was so petite in my youth, teachers would often mistake me for a girl on the first day of school. Most gay men sympathize with being called “ma’am” on the phone at some point. I remember when it happened I would then lean into it, pretending to be a woman, so that I wasn’t embarrassed when I had to admit, “I’m a boy, I just sound like this.”

Even to this day as a trainer who works in media, I am told often that I am too gay or too feminine for certain roles, auditions, or opportunities simply because of my appearance. Those ideas of what a man should look like have been accepted for centuries as the norm. Luckily, I’m as thick-skinned as they come. I had to be, because I didn’t look like the other boys and I enjoyed feminine things. I became a professional ballet dancer and years later, I started wearing heels as part of my profession, walking on runways for NYFW in sky-high stilettos. I am in fact a raging homosexual, but every other male dancer in my company was straight as can be. They often lamented how hard it was to be in a profession they love and constantly judged and mocked because of it.https://www.instagram.com/p/CIzALIqhvbG/embed/captioned/?cr=1&v=6&wp=910&rd=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.advocate.com&rp=%2Fcommentary%2F2021%2F1%2F15%2Fgender-policing-jokes-are-costing-lgbtq-lives#%7B%22ci%22%3A0%2C%22os%22%3A1815%7D

We find out in the video that the man is in fact gay, so his silky matching top and choice to work at Claire’s are “explained,” and yet there’s still no comedy to this. It’s as if the video sets out to determine what is acceptable for a man to wear, and if it’s not, then he must be gay.

Harry Styles recently caused a huge conversation by wearing a petticoat in Vogue. A whole online movement of “Make men look like men again” was born and letters of disgust poured in. The important thing to remember here is that the clothes we wear are just that. Pieces of fabric that make us happy, or comfortable, and they do not need a justification to anyone, and they certainly should not be used to judge a person’s sexual orientation. There is no rule on how a gay man should dress, nor should there be on what a straight man can wear, or any human for that matter.

Gender policing does real harm. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among LGB people ages 10 to 24. LGB youth are fives times as likely to have attempted suicide as opposed to heterosexual counterparts, according to the Trevor Project. Over 6,000 homeless teens roam the streets of Los Angeles nightly, often vilified and kicked out of their own homes for being gay. Those kids are nearly 10 times more likely to commit suicide than straight teens their same age. Additionally. hate crimes are on the rise across the globe.

I should make a point to say that there were dozens of positive comments on this video. None of the commenters were wearing a silky blouse so I’m not sure if they’re gay or not, but I was the only one who spoke out against the content. Of course, when I shared it on social media those in my network instantly realized what was wrong with it.

Who does this antiquated way of sussing up one’s sexual preference hurt the most? The one’s who can’t hide it, like me. I was never passable as a straight person, not once in my life. When I walk into a room I am instantly judged or made assumptions about based on my appearance. I’m gay and you can tell, but what about the ones not out yet, or still struggling with their own self-realization? I was strong enough to get through it and in fact, it is what made me who I am, but not everyone is and that’s why this sort of “comedic” stance on gender policing needs to stop.

Any person gay or straight can wear a shirt designed for a woman.

Any person gay or straight can work at Claire’s if they wish.

Any person should be able to dress how they please, without fear of being judged or persecuted for their sexual preference.

I consider 2020 to be the year of revelations, where old antiquated ways of thinking are finally falling behind. As recently as June this year, for the first time ever, LGBTQ+ people have workplace protection in all 50 states thanks to a Supreme Court decision. Before then, over 15 states could fire you for being gay. Obviously, lots of work is still to be done.

So while videos like this one on Instagram may seem funny to you, I implore you to stop and think about why you think it’s funny. To the woman who prompted this article, I hope you read this. You told me you wouldn’t and that you don’t care about my opinion, but I hope you change your mind. I believe what we focus on expands, so let’s throw away these lame-ass stereotypes and focus on acceptance. Whether you’re a man who loves to wear ball gowns or a woman who lives in men’s clothing, it doesn’t make you anything but a human wearing a piece of fabric. 

Jason Wimberly is a Los Angeles–based celebrity personal trainer. His signature method “Wimberlean” has attracted followers like Jane Lynch and Selma Blair. Follow him on Instagram and Twitter.

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