LGBTQ+ refugees may face outing in their home countries before being dragged through an archaic asylum system that forces them to ‘prove’ their identities to complete strangers, case studies from a refugee charity shared for National Coming Out Day show. 

National Coming Out Day takes place every year on 11 October and was first celebrated in 1988, with the date marking the one year anniversary of the the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. It was created to honour LGBTQ+ people who decided to come out and live their lives openly as queer people. 

Coming out is a deeply personal and individual experience for LGBTQ+ folks and people can ‘come out’ at any age. 

For some, it won’t be a big deal at all and might something they do off-hand or causally – such as explaining what their identity is or introducing their partner to friends or family – but for others it can be very challenging, especially if they come from communities where anti-LGBTQ+ discrimination is commonplace.

For LGBTQ+ refugees, the coming out process can be a dangerous and upsetting one, with queer people facing rejection from family and friends, abuse, criminal charges or even the death penalty. 

For National Coming Out Day 2025, PinkNews heard case studies from two people who are supported by LGBTQ+ refugee charity Rainbow Migration about their experiences with coming out. 

Jalal, a gay man from Morocco, explained he lived his whole life there until he moved to the UK at the start of 2021 to undertake a higher degree.

“You’ll have to leave or he’s going to kill you”  

“In one of my visits home, I had a huge confrontation with my family,” he explained. “I brought a lot of clothes and other items, knowing my family normally would not touch any of my stuff, like my phone. 

“But this time, I was really surprised when my mum took the opportunity to go through my stuff when I wasn’t looking. 

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“Thinking back on it, I think she was very suspicious about my lifestyle in the UK. Every time we video called, I would keep it short and always say the same things, so she wanted to know more.  

“She found my letters and a picture of me and my ex. 

“When I got back, she was holding all the things I was hiding, and we had a fight. 

“I had to go back to my room for safety because it was getting really violent. Eventually my parents told me to leave, or my dad was going to kill me. ” 

Jalal explain his father “left the house to cool off” and his mum told him: “Once he’s back, you’ll have to leave or he’s going to kill you.”  

“So that’s what I did.  I took my passport, my luggage and anything that I could grab. 

“I went to stay in the cheapest hotel, waiting for the cheapest flight ticket [back to London]. Eventually, I took the flight. I needed three days before I applied for asylum to just process everything. I was so tired from the flight.” 

Once queer people reach the UK, the system can itself be discriminatory in the way it asks LGBTQ+ folks to ‘prove’ their identities to officials through evidence in order to be granted asylum. 

As research from Rainbow Migration has previously shown, the UK governmentfrequently does not believe LGBTQ+ people seeking asylum and disregards testimony from friends and family which attests to an individual’s sexual or gender identity.

A bisexual woman from Pakistan who receives support from Rainbow Migration said of the system: “In my main interview, I had to talk about parts of my life I had buried deep. 

“I had to explain trauma, abuse, and fear to strangers — and try to stay composed, because I knew they were watching closely to see if I was “credible enough.”