OUTwatch – Wine Country’s LGBTQI Film Festival will happen Friday, June 9 through Sunday, June 11 as part of Sonoma County Pride’s Calendar of Events. After a three-year pandemic pause, OUTwatch returns to showcase three entertaining narrative films and two thought-provoking documentaries. Rialto Cinemas in Sebastopol will again play host to the festival.
The schedule is: Friday, June 9, 7 p.m. Maybe Someday During a cross-country trip, Jay, a 40-something photographer, ponders her life after her separation from her wife but a stop in her hometown sees the return of her high school crush and her gay bestie who keeps her laughing. Saturday, June 10, 4 p.m. Wildhood When Link discovers his Mi’kmaw mother may still be alive, he leaves his toxic home life with his brother and on the way they meet Pasmay, a Two Spirited, pow wow dancer with whom Link finds love and community. Saturday, June 10, 7 p.m. Commitment to Life The true story of the fight against HIV/AIDS in early 1980s Los Angeles when an intrepid group of people living with HIV/AIDS, doctors, movie stars, studio moguls and activists changed the course of the epidemic and saved lives. Sunday, June 11, 4 p.m. UnsettledThis documentary reveals the untold stories of LGBT refugees and asylum seekers from Africa and the Middle East who have fled intense persecution from their home countries and who are resettling in the United States. Sunday, June 11, 7 p.m. Big Boys In this utterly charming coming-of-age comedy, a teenage boy experiences a sexual awakening when he falls for his cousin’s straight, bearish boyfriend while on a camping trip and the two find themselves lost in the woods.
OUTwatch believes the very act of inviting an audience to watch a film builds community and inhibits the isolation too many of us experience. Since 2016, OUTwatch has brought together LGBTQI businesses, non-profits, social groups, and artists to highlight our collective consciousness as well as our diversity. It is important for all of us who are part of the LGBTQI Community, as well as the community at large, to both see positive images of ourselves and explore the myriad of challenges we still face.
OUTwatch is appreciative of the support of our Film Festival Sponsors: Sonoma County Pride and Abacus. Also, our Film Sponsors:Fastsigns;Queer Asylum Accompaniment; Sebastopol Documentary Film Festival; Kinna Crock Law.
CAAMFest 2023 is proud to announce a slew of LGBTQIA+ filmmakers and films that explore their multifaceted stories. The diverse themes of the films showcase the complexities of identity, grief, family, friendship, and romance. We also have music and food programming that highlights queer individuals that bring their talent either through tunes or culinary tastings! CAAMFest 2023 will take place May 11-21, 2023, encompassing programs that celebrate Asian and Asian American stories. All programming along with LGBTQIA+ filmmakers and films on the LGBTQIA+ experience are listed below.
Films on the LGBTQIA+ Experience
All I Ever Wanted, directed by Erin Lau Part of the Shorts Program: OUT/HERE Sunday, May 14, 12:30 PM | Castro Theatre Rom-com obsessed teen Christine has always longed for the picture-perfect romance – but she’s soon confronted with the fact that her ideal prince charming might actually be a princess charming instead.
Here, Hopefully, directed by Hao Zhou Part of the Shorts Program: OUT/HERE Sunday, May 14, 12:30 PM | Castro Theatre A non-binary international nursing student from rural China seeks to build a sustainable and gender-affirming life in the Midwest.
Joy Ride, directed by Adele Lim Narrative Feature Thursday, May 11, 6:30 p.m. | Castro Theatre The hilarious and unapologetically explicit story of identity and self-discovery centers on four unlikely friends who embark on a once-in-a-lifetime international adventure. When Audrey’s (Ashley Park) business trip to Asia goes sideways, she enlists the aid of Lolo (Sherry Cola), her irreverent, childhood best friend who also happens to be a hot mess; Kat (Stephanie Hsu), her college friend turned Chinese soap star; and Deadeye (Sabrina Wu), Lolo’s eccentric cousin. Their no-holds-barred, epic experience becomes a journey of bonding, friendship, belonging, and wild debauchery that reveals the universal truth of what it means to know and love who you are. This screening of Joyride is made possible with support from Amazon.
Last Summer Of Nathan Lee, directed by Quentin Lee World Premiere – Narrative Feature Sunday, May 14, 6:30 PM | Castro Theatre 18-year-old Nathan Lee finds out he has brain cancer and asks his best friend Dash to document his remaining life which he vows to live with passion.
Little Sky, directed by Jess X. Snow Part of the Shorts Program: JAM SESH A drag sensation returns home to confront their estranged father about the childhood memories that continue to haunt them.
Luv, Me, directed by Yen Dinh & Nicolas Jara Part of the Shorts Program: OUT/HERE Sunday, May 14, 12:30 PM | Castro Theatre A K-drama obsessed young woman and her asexual friend butt heads over the importance of romantic love.
Skin Can Breathe, directed by Chheangkea leng Part of the Shorts Program: OUT/HERE Sunday, May 14, 12:30 PM | Castro Theatre Having to constantly negotiate his identity, a queer Cambodian American teenager finds a home inside the water of his high school pool.
Still Queer, directed by Yuelei Song Part of the Shorts Program: OUT/HERE Sunday, May 14, 12:30 PM | Castro Theatre After a long period away, asexual T struggles to maintain their strained friendship with Gwin, as they find themselves monitored by a persistent disembodied voice demanding an answer.
The Harvest, directed by Caylee So Narrative Feature Saturday, May 20, 6:00 PM | Roxie Theater After a car accident leaves his family in need of his help, Thai returns home to Southern California, only to find his whole world in disarray. With mounting medical bills and secrets of their own, the family watches as Cher, a tough and stubborn Hmong father, suffers through the devastating effects of kidney failure. Thai struggles to choose between his fractured relationship with his family, or a life free from the burden of traditions. *screener available
The Resemblance, directed by Derek Nguyen Part of the Shorts Program: OUT/HERE Sunday, May 14, 12:30 PM | Castro Theatre A grieving couple hires an actor to role-play their dead son only to discover their evening of remembrance is more than they bargained for.
Wuss, directed by Rubing Zhang Part of the Shorts Program: OUT/HERE Sunday, May 14, 12:30 PM | Castro Theatre A tomboy must choose where her loyalties lie when the chance to join the neighborhood’s boys’ squad comes at the cost of a girl she just befriended.
LGBTQIA+ Filmmakers
Brown Elephant, directed by Fawzia Mirza Part of the Shorts Program: DESI BLOCK PARTY Saturday, May 13, 9:15 PM | Roxie Theater A young Muslim woman and her family discuss a peacekeeping solution for their overly aggressive ‘White Elephant’ gift exchange.
Carrion, directed by Yvonne Zhang Part of the Shorts Program: THE MOURNING AFTER Saturday, May 20, 9:00 PM | Roxie Theater Living on an isolated desert motel with her grieving mother, a young girl must confront death after she digs up a rotting carcass.
Don’t Be Sorry, directed by David Au Opening for feature film BIG FIGHT IN LITTLE CHINATOWN Saturday, May 13th, 2:30 PM | Great Star Theater A timid but resilient Korean American senior is empowered to fight back when she discovers face-slapping competition videos on the internet.
Hearsay, directed by Banban Cheng Part of the Shorts Program: COMPANION PASS Thursday, May 18, 5:30 PM | Roxie Theater Gossip inflames a community when Lili, an outgoing and talkative hairdresser, discovers a damaging secret about a customer.
Kapwa Texas, directed by PJ Raval Part of the Shorts Program: COMMUNITY CARE Saturday, May 13, 11:00 AM | San Francisco Public Library (Main) As the world grapples with an emerging global pandemic, three young Filipino women forge unexpected connections with their families and discover themselves in the process. A self-documented time capsule during turbulent times, Kapwa Texas captures the unbreakable bond between Filipino family and community.
Many Moons, directed by Chisato Hughes World Premiere – Part of the Rea Tajiri Retrospective program: HISTORY & MEMORY Saturday, May 20, 12:00 PM | SFMOMA Phyllis Wattis Theater In this hybrid documentary/fiction film, Chinese community members of Humboldt County search for the lone exception to the 1885 expulsion and 60-year enforced exclusion of “Chinamen” – Charlie Moon, whose descendants are Native tribal members.
Oyakodon, directed by Roxy Shih Part of the Shorts Program: MAMA TRAUMA Sunday, May 14, 3:15 PM | Roxie Theater A single, immigrant mother struggles to keep traditions and a small noodle shop alive in a rapidly changing world.
Pō’ele Wai (As The Water Darkens), directed by Tiare Ribeaux Part of the Pacific Shorts Program made possible with support from Pacific Islanders in Communications Sunday, May 21, 12:00 PM | New Parkway Theater Told through visual metaphor and poetic homage, a weaver experiences a transformation when she realizes her drinking water has been poisoned by petroleum leaking into O’ahu’s watersheds.
Unseen, directed by Set Hernandez Documentary Sunday, May 14, 12:15 PM | Roxie Theater Most people dream of a better future. Pedro, an aspiring social worker, is no different. But as a blind, undocumented immigrant, Pedro faces political restrictions to obtain his college degree, secure a job in his field, and support his family. As he finally graduates, uncertainty looms over Pedro. What starts as a journey to provide mental health care for his community ultimately transforms into Pedro’s path toward his own healing. Through experimental cinematography and sound, “unseen” reimagines the accessibility of cinema, while exploring the intersections of immigration, disability, and mental health.
Well Wishes My Love, Your Love, directed by Gabriel Gabriel Garble Part of the Shorts Program: COMPANION PASS Thursday, May 18, 5:30 PM | Roxie Theater Newly orphaned and freshly wounded from an immense loss, a boy lends his companion a prosthetic arm for the day. The companion would then expose the prosthetic limb to a mélange of textures and materials, whilst documenting the whole process. As the moon inches closer and closer to the sun, the boy sees something unusual reflected on the water’s surface… What will become of the limb, and what will become of the video recordings?
TICKET INFORMATION General admission tickets for screenings and panels range from complementary to $15. Special presentations and events range from $20 – $135. Tickets for students, seniors, and people with disabilities are at reduced prices for most events. For more information, please visit the box ticketing information page at: CAAMFest.com
CAAMFest COVID-19 POLICY Masks are recommended for indoor events and venues and when not eating or drinking. This policy may change depending on each host venue’s policy as well as any changing local and federal guidelines.
About CAAMFest Celebrating its 41st year in 2023, CAAMFest is the nation’s leading showcase for Asian and Asian American talent in film, food, music, and arts. CAAMFest takes place May 11-21, 2023. Check CAAMFest.com for more programming and ticketing details.
About CAAM For over 40 years, CAAM (Center for Asian American Media) has been dedicated to presenting stories that convey the richness and diversity of Asian American experiences to the broadest audience possible. As a nonprofit organization, CAAM funds, produces, distributes, and exhibits works in film, television, and digital media. For more information about CAAM, please visit www.CAAMedia.org.
The federal government is seeking to invalidate the statute because “no person should be denied access to necessary medical care just because of their transgender status,” Assistant U.S. Attorney General Kristen Clarke said in a statement. The DOJ said the law violates the Constitution’s equal protection clause by discriminating on the basis of both sex and transgender status.
“The right to consider your health and medically-approved treatment options with your family and doctors is a right that everyone should have, including transgender children, who are especially vulnerable to serious risks of depression, anxiety and suicide,” Clarke added.
The federal lawsuit comes after Clarke sent a letter to all state attorneys general last month warning them that federal law protects transgender youth against discrimination. The Justice Department also intervened last year in a lawsuit challenging a similar ban on transgender medical care for young people. That lawsuit is ongoing.
Republican Gov. Bill Lee signed off on prohibiting gender-affirming care for minors earlier this year. The bill was the first proposal filed in this year’s legislative session. Republican leaders did so in response to video surfacing on social media last year of a Nashville doctor touting that gender-affirming procedures are “huge money makers” for hospitals. That hospital has since paused its transgender services for young people.
Republican lawmakers also advanced legislation designed to severely limit where drag shows can take place, making Tennessee the first state to do so. A federal judge has temporarily blocked the statute from being implemented.
Nationally, Republican lawmakers have proposed hundreds of laws aimed at transgender people, with at least 14 states restricting or banning gender-affirming care for minors.
Under Tennessee’s law — set to take effect July 1 — doctors will be prohibited from prescribing puberty blockers or hormones, or providing other gender-affirming care to anyone under 18. The law spells out a handful exceptions, including allowing doctors to perform such medical services if the patient’s care begins before the law goes into effect. In those cases, care must end by March 31, 2024.
Health care providers who violate the ban would be subject to regulatory discipline and could be sued by the state attorney general or private parties. Violations carry a $25,000 penalty.
A spokesperson for the Tennessee Attorney General’s office did not immediately respond for comment.
The Justice Department’s lawsuit is the second complaint challenging the new Tennessee law. Last week, three transgender children and their parents sued the state, claiming the law violates the 14th Amendment’s equal protection clause because it excludes treatment for gender dysphoria while allowing the same treatments to be used for other conditions.
Even those of us in media serving the LGBTQ+ community were pleasantly surprised by the results from a recent Gallup study finding 1 in 5 of the rising Gen Z adults (ages 20-26) identifying as LGBTQ+. That means of the 82 million Gen Z Americans, an estimated 17 million identify as LGBTQ+. Never in the history of polling for LGBTQ+ identity have we seen such a staggering statistic from a single generation. When you compare the Gen Z queer identifiers at more than 20 percent for this rising group of new adults versus the older Gen X at identifying at only 4 percent, you can tell that we are in a massive generational shift and a renaissance around openness, authenticity, and living the happiest life possible to love who you love.
With such a massive embrace of alternative orientation taking place, why, then, are we seeing the rise of so much anti-LGBTQ+ legislation? Maybe the simple answer lies no farther than the parents of these queer Gen Zers for the rise of hate and anti-LGBTQ+ legislation. Here’s how it could be the driving force. And, furthermore, what we can do about it.
Let’s start with simple math and statistics of recent credible polls on LGBTQ+ people. By just focusing on the youngest of LGBTQ+ folks in the Gen Z sector or approximately 17 million, you can estimate each has 1.7 on average living parents, stepparents, and guardians in their lives — or about 30 million parental figures. We then apply voting statistics and other polling data starting with Pew Research in November 2022 that found 61 percent of American voters believe same-sex marriage is good for society. Multiplying 61 percent x 30 million parents, we can safely defend and probably generously state that 18.3 million of these parents are accepting, nurturing, and lovingly proud of their out and happy children.
On the other hand, Pew found that 37 percent of Americans believe same-sex marriage is negative for society. If applied to our 30 million estimated parental number, this leaves nearly 12 million parents whose beliefs and values run counter to their child(ren) identifying as LGBTQ+. There is little doubt that these people also vote and support anti-LGBTQ+ agendas of the GOP, their elected party representatives, and their propaganda machine, Fox News. If these 12 million parental supporters of hateful legislation are like the Republican party leadership and faced with self-perceived and conservative-media-reinforced failure as parents, they take no responsibility, seek someone to blame for making their child being queer and take out their fury in the anonymity of the voting booth by supporting anti-LGBTQ+ candidates (if not denying them appropriate medical treatment or throwing them out of their houses for just wanting to love who they want — or worse).
And even if just a fraction of my math approximating 12 million voting for anti-LGBTQ+ legislation is all you’ll accept, a mere fraction is enough to sway local, state, and federal races in purple states like Georgia, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Michigan, Arizona, Nevada, and Ohio. And if we multiply the 12 million x 10 percent, which is roughly how many Florida residents make up the percentage of U.S. population, we get about 1.2 million parents in Florida, which is almost exactly the amount Governor DeSantis won by in his last election. And this is just factoring in the parents of LGBTQ+ kids voting against the rights of their own children, not the many more who also follow the governor’s misguided hate.
Logically, we know that this population of parents can’t make up 100 percent of DeSantis’s margin, but even a fraction of that could have added to his lead, influenced others and many in the state, making the GOP stronger in their hold on all Florida branches of government, with an almost endless supply of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation at their fingertips. Adding insult to injury, many states are following Florida step for step in banning books, discussions in classrooms, and drag shows. All the while, ocean tides increasingly rise around Florida visible to every resident. All the while, the state ranks among the worst for crime and gun deaths. All the while, rents in Dade County and many other Florida counties have skyrocketed 60 percent or more in the last two years. All the while, the state performs poorly on health care, mental health, and economic diversity, all while trans youth and drag queens are scapegoated as a real problem.
So how do we combat this possible and unexpected phenomenon of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation?
Perhaps, we need to start with those of us who are identifying as LGBTQ+ to work to convince our parents and loved ones that a vote against LGBTQ+ rights is a vote against their own loved ones. We should patiently and lovingly remind our anti-LGBTQ+ voting parents that they love us and only want for our happiness. And what would help give them even more love and happiness is voting for politicians who support LGBTQ+ rights. It will not be accomplished with one conversation; it will take many. It will not be accomplished with yelling or shutting them out. It will take love, gentle persuading, and keeping them part of your lives. Over time, I have watched my own father’s resolve soften to one of support.
Next, we may need to consider greatly enhancing phone line and local support for parents of LGBTQ+ people so they get education, compassion, and support in their local areas, local resources to help themselves and their children and support by way of groups and FB pages of other parents grappling with how to support their LGBTQ+ children. Otherwise, these shocked, confused and ignorant individuals fall prey to the steady drum beat of anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric on outlets like Fox News and politicians from school boards to state houses and Capitol Hill putting forward or enacting hateful anti-LGBTQ+ legislation.
Consider running for office or give just an hour a week to a candidate who supports LGBTQ+ rights. From school boards to the highest seats in the land, please consider running for office or more practically for many, supporting just one candidate in a pivotal race on your ballot with just one hour a week of volunteer time during the election cycle. Imagine if all of us gave just one hour a week to pro-LGBTQ+ candidates; we could turn the tide and make this a country one we can all take pride in.
Together, we can overcome this wave of hate by starting in our own families. Let’s bring a surge of love to douse the flames of hate.
Michael Kelley is chairman of equalpride, parent company of The Advocate.
Fox News taking Tucker Carlson off the air means that one of the loudest anti-trans voices in US media falls silent – for now. But his anti-LGBTQ+ legacy will continue to reverberate.
Carlson was Fox News’ top-rated and most-watched host, and he’s been credited with setting the agenda for US conservatives from coast to coast.
Night after night, millions tuned in to watch Carlson rant and paint a dystopian picture of a US where conservatives are under attack from the encroaching ‘woke’ left.
Over the years his eponymous show aired, he raged against the LGBTQ+ community, embraced racist conspiracy theories and pushed an increasingly far-right agenda on his viewers.
His departure from the network came as a shock to many. In a terse statement released Monday (24 April), Fox News said it and Carlson agreed to “part ways” effective immediately. It’s been reported that the decision was made by Fox chair Rupert Murdoch.
It means that Carlson made his final appearance, apparently unknowingly, on Friday, bringing to a quiet close an era of right-wing hate and ‘radicalisation’.
It said he “worked to radicalise the Republican party in the direction of its most dangerous, authoritarian elements”.
“Carlson has been the face of the network since at least the 2020 election, with executives counting on his personal connection to viewers to keep them coming back as former president Donald Trump receded from the national stage,” Media Matters added.
“He used that opportunity to focus the network (and through it, the GOP) on his own particular obsessions, like the ‘great replacement’ conspiracy theory, anti-trans invective and support for authoritarian regimes in Russia and Hungary.”
Tucker Carlson was at the forefront of anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric and attacks on trans rights
Among Carlson’s most vehemently pursued talking points was the idea that white, cisgender, heterosexual people are under attack in the US. It’s a common bigoted topic pushed by the right-wing to abuse anyone who deviates from their perceived norm.
Fast forward to 2020, he took to the air to call the Black Lives Matter protests an “insidious” attempt to “challenge Western civilisation itself”. He also called workplace anti-bias training “poison” and reverse racism.
Tucker Carlson has also been at the forefront of the modern attack on gender-affirming healthcare by the right-wing.
Over the years he appeared on Fox News, Carlson hosted a lengthy list of anti-trans guests, who espoused hateful talking points. He’s also devoted hearty chunks of his on-air career to personally attacking the lives of trans people.
In 2021, he hosted a guest who falsely suggested gender-affirming healthcare for trans youth allows people to “basically molest and abuse children”. Carlson agreed before falsely characterising such medical treatment as “genital mutilation”.
He depicted healthcare officials providing gender-affirming care as “criminals” and said Boston Children’s Hospital was “playing the victim” after it received bomb threats over such care.
Tucker Carlson used mass shootings to attack drag queens and trans people
Amid right-wing attacks against drag, Tucker Carlson said on Fox News that kid-friendly drag events were attempts to “indoctrinate and sexualise children”. In another segment, he claimed it’s “not that unfair” to accuse drag queens of “being creepy with kids”.
He also blasted what he described as the “sexualisation” of children by teachers and urged parents to “fight back” against discussions of LGBTQ+ issues in schools.
The host falsely claimed on his Fox News show that the school shooting “happened because of a deranged and demonic ideology that is infesting this country with the encouragement of people like Joe Biden”.
He also labelled trans people as the “natural enemy” of Christianity as he alleged that the “trans movement is targeting Christians”.
Tucker Carlson characterised the trans community as the “natural enemy” of Christianity in the wake of the Nashville school shooting. (Fox News)
What will happen to Tucker Carlson after his Fox News exit?
Once O’Reilly stepped away for good from the mic, his name, reputation and sway in the right-wing crowd faded into obscurity. Carlson may face a similar fate.
It also came just a short while after Fox settled a defamation lawsuit with Dominion Voting Systems for $787.5m. The lawsuit centred on Fox airing false claims that the presidential election was stolen after former president Donald Trump’s 2020 loss.
Filings in the case featured a lengthy list of messages from Carlson disparaging the media group’s news division and management, revealed his feelings about Trump and demonstrated his scepticism of the ‘stolen election’ conspiracy theory.
The commissioner for The Council of Europe’s Human Rights is urging politicians in Slovakia to vote against proposed legislation that would effectively prevent trans people from having their gender legally recognised.
The bill, set to have its second reading next month, proposes only allowing someone to change their gender marking if they can prove, via genetic testing, it had been incorrectly determined.
In a letter to the Slovakia parliament, dated 19 April but released publically on 25 April, commissioner Dunja Mijatović said she was concerned that the bill would “effectively” mean trans men and women’s genders would not be legally recognised and “lead to human rights regression”.
She said it was “in conflict” with the Slovak Republic’s obligations under the European Convention on Human Rights.
It “should have triggered a process of addressing long-standing concerns about intolerance towards LGBTI people”, she said.
“However, I am disappointed that no discernible progress has been made, and that the human rights of LGBTI people in the Slovak Republic appear to be more, rather than less, at risk.”
Mijatović also used the letter to highlight issues relating to the rights of same-sex couples and hate incidents towards queer people.
Rights for same-sex couples in the Slovak Republic fell short of European Court of Human Rights case law, she said, noting, specifically, that the current legal framework did not grant same-sex couples “adequate recognition and protection of their relationship”.
She went further and urged that human rights of queer people be protected.
“These include ensuring that gender identity and sex characteristics are explicitly recognised as protected characteristics in hate-crime legislation, and included as aggravating circumstances when offences are committed on those grounds.”
Mijatović also recommended raising societal awareness and acceptance of sexual orientation and gender identity, noting parliamentarians had downplayed links between hate crimes and the wider Slovakia society and political sphere.
The Slovak Republic is not the only European country facing condemnation for its laws in relation to LGBTQ+ people.
Residents have been left stunned after antisemitic and anti-trans flyers were recently distributed across multiple Atlanta neighborhoods.
According to Fox 5, the flyers appear to have come from a group called the Goyim Defense League, which the Anti-Defamation League describes as “a loose network of individuals connected by their virulent antisemitism” whose “goal is to cast aspersions on Jews and spread antisemitic myths and conspiracy theories.”
Doctors could get up to 10 years in prison under the new law.
One of the flyers said Jews are behind “the rise in transgenderism” and included photos of trans leaders superimposed with Jewish stars. The flyer also warned of a “4000% explosion in kids identifying as transgender” and said kids are being “forced to unlearn boy-girl differences.”
Other flyers declared “every single aspect of feminism is Jewish” and “every single aspect of the Jewish Talmud is Satanic.”
“We just need to be more open and kind,” one resident, Caroline Joe, told Atlanta News First. “It’s kind of cowardly actually to just come into a neighborhood and distribute information like that.”
“I think the best places for those messages are in the trash can,” said another resident, Brian Davis. “I think we need to start treating people better, and I encourage whoever did this to go out there and find a Jewish person or a Black person or a gay person and befriend them.”
The FBI told the news agency that while they are of the situation, the distributors of the flyers do not appear to have broken federal law and are exercising their first amendment rights.
The flyers were found in the district of City Councilmember Lilliana Bakhtiari, the first nonbinary official elected in Atlanta. Bakhtiari called the flyers “vile” and “repugnant” and said their office “has been in regular communication” with the Atlanta Police and leaders of the affected communities.
“I will continue to extend myself – and my platform – as a resource to any person targeted on the basis of exclusion,” they said.
A statement from the Atlanta Police Department said it is “not aware of any criminal acts related to the flyers. However, their distribution has led to a heightened level of awareness throughout our department, and we have increased patrols around where the flyers were found.”
Georgia state Rep. Saira Draper (D) told Rough Draft Atlanta she is “appalled and disgusted” and that “this is not an isolated incident of hate.”
“As a state legislator, I can’t help but view this incident and our legislative policy choices as related. During the 2023 legislative session, the Georgia General Assembly failed to pass proposed legislation to curb rising rates of antisemitism.”
“Concurrently, the General Assembly prioritized the passage of legislation that discriminates against and harms transgender children and their families. There is a direct line between these policy decisions and creating an environment that emboldens hate groups and normalizes discriminatory rhetoric. It’s not enough for leaders to say they don’t tolerate hate; our policy agenda must do the same.”
Atlanta Mayor Andre Dickens (D) also condemned the flyers, saying he is “deeply disturbed.”
As more LGBTQ+ people marry and have families, they’re welcoming a growing number of nonbinary, gender-neutral, and gender-expansive relatives. But the titles used for relatives tend to be old-fashioned and heavily gendered. If someone has nonbinary elders or children, for example, they may find themselves unsure about the best gender-neutral family terms for “uncle” and “aunt” or respectful gender-neutral words for “niece” and “nephew.”
However, there are gender-neutral family terms for every branch in one’s family tree. Though some of the labels are instantly familiar and understandable — like “parent” or “sibling” — others may seem newer and less familiar — like “moppa” or “pibling.”
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People even make up new, unique terms for nonbinary and gender-neutral family members all the time to help describe the unique relationships they have with their relatives.
While some of the newer family terms below may require a bit of explanation so others can understand them, using these terms regularly will help normalize them, making them more widely accepted in the mainstream. (There’s also a complete list of gender-neutral pronouns to help make nonbinary people feel welcome at any occasion — though some people use “rolling pronouns” too.)
Let’s explore some of the most adopted ways to ungender various family member labels below:
Mother /Mom / Father / Dad
Naturally, “parent” and “guardian” are the most commonly understood terms for someone with legal or parental rights to a child. Many of the words in this section, however, are less common and more endearing, leaning even into affectionate “child-speak.”
Bapa: Uses the “b” from nonbinary with soft “a” vowel sounds
Bibi: Uses the “b” from nonbinary and hard “i” vowel sounds
Dida: Combines the hard “i” and soft “a” vowel sounds
Nibi: Uses the “b” from non-binary and “i” vowel sounds (either hard or soft)
Nini: Uses the “n” from non-binary and hard “i” vowel sounds
Maddy / Moddy / Muddy: Combines “mommy / mummy” and “daddy”
MaiMai: uses a hard “a” vowel sound
Mombo: Combines “mom” and the hard “o” vowel sound
Moppa: Combines “mommy” and “poppa” (popularized by the transgender TV series Transparent)
Zaza: Uses soft “a” vowel sounds
Sister/Brother
Sibling/Sib: short for “sibling”
Sibster/Sibter: a mixture of “sibling” and “sister” with a hard “b” sound
Daughter/Son
Most of the terms in this section are more commonly understood.
Child
Offspring
Kid/Kiddo
Oldest: referring to one’s eldest child
Youngest: referring to one’s most recently born child
Spawn: a humorous term, usually applied to underwater creatures
Aunt/Uncle
The gender-neutral terms for “uncle” and “aunt” either combine the two words or use affectionate “child-speak” nicknames.
Pibling: a mixture of “parent’s sibling”
Auncle: a mixture of “aunt” and “uncle” (though make sure to emphasize the “au” vowel sound)
Titi: a mixture of the Spanish words for “aunt” (tia) and “uncle” (tio) — though “titi” is Spanish is similar to “auntie”
Zizi: a mixture of the Italian words for “aunt” (zia) and “uncle” (zio) — though “zizi” is also French child slang for “penis”
Unty/Unitie: a mixture of “uncle” and “auntie”
Niece/Nephew
Gender-neutral terms for “niece” and “nephew” tend to combine the words or acknowledge the child’s relationship to one’s own sibling.
“Grandparent” and “grandchild” are the most commonly used nonbinary terms for these relatives, but some people use the less common nonbinary slang terms for parents or aunts and uncles to designate grand-relations (like “zaza,” “bibi,” or “titi.”
Godmother/Godfather/Goddaughter/Godson
“Godparent” and “godchild” are the most commonly used nonbinary terms for these relatives.
“Betrothed” is an old-fashioned word that means a person that one is engaged to marry. However, some of the terms for girlfriend/boyfriend listed above may also work.
Wife / Husband
“Spouse” and the somewhat disparaging “ball and chain” are both gender-neutral terms that can refer to one’s married partner. However, some of the terms for girlfriend/boyfriend listed above may also work.
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Gender-Neutral Family Terms Are Here to Stay
Gender-neutral family terms are becoming increasingly popular as a way to break down traditional gender roles and create a more inclusive language for families of all kinds.
By introducing gender-neutral terms such as “parent” instead of “mother” or “father,” families can avoid unnecessary assumptions about their structure and foster an environment of respect and understanding. This doesn’t just apply to the queer world.
With the growing recognition of the importance of gender equality, it is likely that the evolution and use of gender-neutral family terms will continue to be embraced in the years to come.
When Kyle Freels got off work Tuesday, he and his wife, Rene, drove from their home in Missouri across the Mississippi River to look at neighborhoods in Illinois. They also picked up three months’ worth of estrogen for their daughter, Chelsea, who is transgender.
The Freels are preparing to potentially leave St. Louis, where they moved 17 years ago just before Chelsea was born, due to the state’s repeated efforts to restrict the rights of trans people.
“I never thought we’d have to be refugees in the United States, but now we’re being forced out,” Kyle Freels said.
So far this year, Missouri lawmakers have introduced 48 bills targeting LGBTQ rights — the second highest number in the nation behind Texas — with nearly half of those restricting trans rights, according to the American Civil Liberties Union.
Kyle and Rene Freels moved to St. Louis 17 years ago, just before the birth of their daughter, Chelsea.Kyle Freels
In February, just as the state’s legislative session was starting and Missouri Republicans were filing bills to bar gender-affirming care for minors, Attorney General Andrew Bailey announced that he had started an investigation into the Transgender Center at the St. Louis Children’s Hospital, the state’s only multidisciplinary clinic for trans adolescents. The probe followed claims by Jamie Reed, a former case worker at the center, who alleged the facility was harming children by not conducting thorough mental health assessments before providing patients puberty blockers and hormone replacement therapy, or HRT.
Reed’s allegations — outlined in an affidavit and an op-ed, both published on Feb. 9 — have become a flashpoint in the debate over transition-related care for minors, both in Missouri and nationwide. The week after Reed’s op-ed was published, state Sen. Mike Moon, a Republican, introduced a trio of bills to restrict such care and cited Reed’s allegations.Earlier this month, the Republican-led House passed a bill that would ban gender-affirming care for minors.
“Sex changes and little kids are two things that should never go together,” Rep. Brad Hudson, the Republican who introduced the recently passed bill, said on the House floor earlier this month, as reported by the Kansas City Star.
“I never thought we’d have to be refugees in the United States, but now we’re being forced out.”
KYLE FREELS, PARENT OF A TRANS TEEN
Though Bailey’s investigation into the Transgender Center is ongoing, he issued a rule on April 13 to significantly restrict transition-related care for all trans people in the state by requiring them to meet a list of criteria before treatment, including attending 15 hourly therapy sessions over at least 18 months and having any mental health issues “treated and resolved.” The rule was scheduled to take effect Thursday, but a judge issued a temporary stay Wednesday night, after civil rights groups and local attorneys filed a petition seeking a temporary restraining order against it. The rule is now slated to take effect Monday, pending the outcome of a hearing.
More than a dozen parents with trans children in the state described the resulting climate as hostile, with one parent calling it a “a dystopian nightmare” and another saying they’ve been “living with harassment every day.” When the Freels talk about it, they call it a “battle” — one that they said will eventually push them out of the state, even though they want to stay and support families with younger kids.
“We kind of feel battle-tested, so we don’t want to leave, but yet we also want our child to be safe,” Rene Freels said. “With the legislation, I know if it goes through, I don’t want to be in the state.”
Allegations made public
Reed, who was a case worker at the Transgender Center from 2018 to November 2022, alleged in a 23-page affidavit that children were being harmed at the center as a result of being routinely prescribed puberty blockers or hormone therapy too quickly and without “appropriate or accurate” mental health assessments.
She also said patients were provided medication “without informed parental consent,” alleging that parents were not given enough information about the side effects of hormone therapy, which can include infertility. The center, she alleged in her affidavit, also did not obtain custody agreements from divorced parents to ensure all parties consented to treatment.
Shortly after Reed went public with her allegations in an op-ed published in The Free Press, a news website started by Bari Weiss, a former op-ed writer and editor at The New York Times, the Missouri attorney general’s office announced its investigation and made Reed’s affidavit public. Reed, who has a master’s degree in clinical research management, concluded her op-ed by calling for a “moratorium on the hormonal and surgical treatment of young people with gender dysphoria.”
NBC News contacted Reed’s legal team via phone and email, and Reed via mail, but after multiple requests, she declined an interview.
‘Unsubstantiated’ allegations
Washington University in St. Louis, the parent institution of the St. Louis Children’s Hospital, released the findings of an internal investigation into the Transgender Center on Friday. It found that “allegations of substandard care causing adverse outcomes for patients at the Center are unsubstantiated.”
Reed’s attorneys, Vernadette Broyles and Ernest Trakas, said in a statement on Reed’s behalf that the university did not interview their client for its internal investigation. They also said the university “acknowledges the validity of several of Ms. Reed’s allegations,” including that the center didn’t obtain written informed consent from parents or custody agreements.
In a summary of its investigation findings, the university said the center’s existing policy includes obtaining verbal parental consent for treatment and documenting that consent in the patient’s medical record, as well as requesting custody agreements “before medical intervention in cases where decision-making authority was in question.” Going forward, the university said, the center will require written consent from parents prior to prescribing medications, such as puberty blockers and hormone therapy, and families to provide custody agreements before an initial visit at the center if the patient is a minor.
The university did not answer NBC News’ question about whether Reed was interviewed as part of the investigation.
“WPATH is an advocacy organization whose publications rely very little on the emerging international evidence and much more on the idea that trans health care is about the right to embodiment of cosmetic goals on demand,” the attorneys said in their statement. “The newest WPATH publication even contains a chapter on the rights of those of the eunuch gender. It seems clear that reasonable people would have caution in providing unquestioning affirmation to children and teens, but neither WPATH nor the Center clinic does this.”
Firsthand accounts
Over the last two months, NBC News has requested interviews with nearly 40 people currently or formerly associated with the Transgender Center — including parents of children treated at the center, current and former patients and former employees — as well as local mental health providers and providers at other gender clinics. NBC News has also reached out to local and national groups that both support and oppose transition-related care for minors.
The more than two dozen people who agreed to interviews said Reed’s allegations don’t reflect their experiences at the center.
Sixteen parents, two current patients and two former patients of the center said the care they received was thorough and slow. The shortest amount of time that a parent said their child waited between their first appointment at the center and when their child started a puberty blocker was about six months. Five parents said their children waited more than a year between their first appointments at the center and their children beginning medical transition.
The Freels are among those five parents. Chelsea, now 17, waited about 15 months between her first appointment at the clinic in August 2021and when she started hormone therapy in November 2022. They waited a year between their first appointmentand their second in August 2022, in part because they had to receive a letter of support from a therapist in order for Chelsea to start hormone therapy. They also alleged that Reed was responsible for some of the delay.
“Medicine is stashed around town at friends’ homes that we’ve stockpiled already in advance of legislation passing.”
DANIELLE, PARENT OF A TRANS TEEN
When they first called the center in the summer of 2021 and asked to make an appointment, Rene Freels said, Reed repeatedly asked them, “What do you want?”
“We were just very dumbfounded, because we didn’t know,” Rene Freels said. “At this point, we were so new to everything that we didn’t know what we wanted.”
Rene Freels said Reed allegedly told them she could email them some information but couldn’t do anything else for them.
“We were in tears,” Rene Freels said. “We hung up the phone. We thought we were supposed to call this place, and they’re supposed to help us.”
Reed’s attorneys did not return a request for comment regarding the Freels’ allegations.
Not knowing where to turn next, they found a therapist for Chelsea who told them to call the center again and tell the center that Chelsea was under the therapist’s care. So they did, and they scheduled their first appointment in August 2021 with Dr. Christopher Lewis, the center’s endocrinologist.
Kyle Freels said the first appointment took more than an hour and a half. Lewis drew on the paper roll on the exam room table to illustrate how various medications interact with different body parts. He then said that, before Chelsea could start hormone therapy, she would need to provide him with a letter of support from a psychologist, and he would run a blood test to check her bone density.
Now that she’s been on hormone therapy since November, Chelsea said, she feels much happier. She’s a junior in high school and the business lead of the robotics team.
“The Missouri legislature is doing its thing, restricting trans rights for political gain and all that stuff,” she said. “But overall, I still feel better now than I did back then, and I think not all of it, but definitely a good part of it, has been being on HRT and transitioning. And that has led to other good things, like more social involvement, getting in a group of my peers that support me for me.”
Other families have similarly said their children’s treatment has been very slow and thorough. Becky Hormuth said Dr. Sarah Garwood, one of the Transgender Center’s providers, said she didn’t want Hormuth’s son to move forward with treatment until he had seen a dietician, because she was concerned he had an eating disorder. Another parent, Kelly, who asked that her last name not be published to protect her family’s privacy, said she and her transgender son, Logan, were well informed about the potential effects of testosterone on fertility, and Logan chose to have eggs harvested at 15 before he started testosterone. And another mom, Christine Hyman, said her son saw a therapist more than 80 times before he received a letter of consent to start testosterone.
While no one who could validate Reed’s claims agreed to an interview with NBC News, one parent shared their negative experience with The Free Press in an interview published earlier this month.
A parent who went only by her first name, Caroline, said she felt “bullied” into agreeing to allow her teenager, Casey, to receive puberty blockers. She said Casey’s mental health has severely declined and that she revoked consent for the blocker in June, but that it still hasn’t been removed. Casey, who uses they/them pronouns, lives primarily with their father, who hasn’t consented to have the blocker removed, according to the article.
The day after the article was published, Casey, whose real name is Alex, criticized the story in a series of Twitter posts. NBC News has independently verified that the account does belong to Alex and that Alex is Caroline’s child, but Alex declined an interview. Neither Caroline nor Alex’s father returned requests for comment.
Legislative impact
Dr. Angela Goepferd, the chief education officer and medical director of the gender health program at Children’s Minnesota, said she was disappointed when she read Reed’s allegations. She said she is connected online with doctors who provide care to trans youths nationwide, but she doesn’t know any of the providers at the Transgender Center and hasn’t heard anything negative about the clinic.
“Whether the allegations are true or not,” she said, “it doesn’t really matter, because this is going to be something that is going to make it harder for all of us to provide the care that we know that kids and families need.”
Jeff Dewald, the parent of a trans teen who has been a patient at St. Louis’ Transgender Center for two years, said Reed’s allegations don’t reflect the experience of his family. And while he said he wants to give Reed the benefit of the doubt, he questioned the timing of her claims.
“We’re in the middle of the legislative session, so right when this was issued, not even a week later, they took to hearing three bills on banning health care for trans kids,” he said. “And of course, that was the only talking point in the hearing.”
Dewald said Reed’s affidavit was the last straw for him as a parent. Before this, he said, he had never gone to the Capitol to advocate or spoken to reporters.
“Until that moment, I wanted to protect my kid and our family and just that was good enough,” he said.
But, he added, things changed after Reed’s affidavit came out and, shortly after, his child turned 18.
“I really feel for those that are in the heat of this health care battle,” he said. “Kids that have years to go and genuinely wondering where they’re gonna go if this health care stuff passes. So since then, I’ve actually started stepping up my activism.”
‘Safety versus engagement’
Like the Freels, many Missouri parents of trans kids are making plans in anticipation of the attorney general’s rule taking effect and potential laws restricting trans care loom.
Danielle, the parent of a trans teen who asked not to have her last name published to protect her family’s privacy, said her family has had a plan in place for a while.
“Medicine is stashed around town at friends’ homes that we’ve stockpiled already in advance of legislation passing,” she said. “I feel like we’re living in a dystopian nightmare.”
Chelsea Freels has signed up for text updates on the legal challenge to Bailey’s rule.
She joked that it’s “not doing wonders” for her mental health, but, “Hey, Missouri’s keeping its therapists employed.”
She joked a lot while talking about the attorney general and the Legislature’s attempts to restrict her health care. Her parents said she is generally a very happy kid, but they recently noticed she was struggling.
“My energy bank for hiding everything kind of ran out,” Chelsea said. “It’s back.”
She turns 18 in November, but if she has to leave the state and change high schools before she graduates, she said she’ll be sad to leave behind the robotics team and her friends. Part of her wants to stay, she said, but the other part thinks the state might not be safe anymore.
“If you leave, to some extent, they gain, because you’re not going to be as politically engaged,” she said. “It feels like you’re losing your voice by moving. Safety versus engagement.”