A gay asylum seeker from Jamaica is fighting to be released from ICE custody after he was detained before his asylum hearing.
Rickardo Anthony Kelly, 40, was arrested by ICE officers at an immigration courthouse in Manhattan on Monday morning while he was waiting for his prescheduled hearing, accompanied by his attorney. Agents offered him $1,000 to self-deport, and apprehended him when he refused, Kelly said in a writ of habeas corpus petition filed Wednesday and reported by Courthouse News Service.
Kelly said that he came to the U.S. on a tourist visa in 2021 shortly after he was the victim of a violent attack motivated by his sexual orientation, during which he was shot ten times. He warned that deporting him to Jamaica would put him at risk, and that keeping him in custody could cause him to experience “severe and quite possibly fatal” medical complications as a diabetic.
Kelly’s asylum attorney, Peter Schuur, said in a declaration of support that Kelly “does not pose any risk of danger or flight” and that he “is a hard-working man whose consistent goal since I began representing him in 2021 has been to remain in New York and be a productive member of society.”
Kelly currently works as a security guard in New York City. He was arrested under the Laken Riley Act, which mandates detention without bond for non-citizens charged with or convicted of theft, assault, or other violent crimes. Kelly has a pending third-degree assault charge that he said stems from a domestic dispute which prosecutors have not moved forward with. The case is expected to lapse this month under the Speedy Trial Act, according to Courthouse News Service.
Schuur said that he believes “if Mr. Kelly returns to Jamaica, he faces a grave risk of being killed or severely injured because he is gay.” To keep him in ICE custody could also be fatal, as Schurr asserted that he has “learned alarming information about his current conditions of confinement, which further heightens the need for his release.”
“Mr. Kelly is currently suffering ongoing and irreparable harm as a result of his unlawful detention — including the deprivation of his constitutional rights, heightened medical risks due to his diabetes, and severe psychological distress connected to both his past trauma and his present confinement,” Schurr wrote. “The government’s inability to promptly respond only underscores the rashness of its decision to detain Mr. Kelly in the first place, without adequate consideration or justification. At a minimum, any extension should be conditioned on his immediate release.”
The government has been given until Saturday to show just cause for detaining Kelly. Prosecutors have filed a petition asking Judge John P. Cronan to extend the deadline until Wednesday.
A few weeks ago, I was running along the Hudson River when I had to pause as a duck strutted across the walkway, its head held high as if it owned the pavement. Behind her, a couple of ducklings scurried, scrambling to keep up. It was sweet and charming, despite what they leave behind and what I step in constantly.
And then this week, I saw something eerily similar, but instead of charm, it reeked of desperation and groveling. On Wednesday, there was Tim Cook, the 5’9″ CEO of Apple, trailing 6’3″ Donald Trump into the Oval Office.
All I could think of was that duck and her ducklings, but in this version, the duckling was a sycophant, and the air was thick with something much fouler than duck droppings.
Now, when I put Trump and stench in the same sentence, I know what you’re thinking. Thank God I’ve never been close enough to him to verify whether said rumor is true, but it seems like lots of people like to talk about it.
However, this isn’t about physical odor. Instead, it’s the moral malodor of Trump’s vicious attacks on the LGBTQ+ community and on migrants, many of whom make up the very labor force that assembles Apple’s devices across the globe. And what Trump is doing just stinks.
Further, Cook, as a gay man and as CEO of a company that benefits from cheap labor in countries Trump would refer to as “shitholes,” turned his back on both communities by debasing himself to this odorous man.
And if that weren’t bad enough, Cook presented Trump with a gift, an opulent sculpture made of glass with the Apple logo and 24-karat gold. Presumably, so it would feel right at home among the other tacky, gilded ornaments Trump has offensively nailed to the walls of the Oval Office.
It was as if Cook were auditioning for one of the three wise men, who offered gold, frankincense, and myrrh to the self-appointed messiah of MAGA. Remember, Trump thinks he’s akin to the second coming of Christ. But in this case, there’s no room for Christ, who was humble, Trump’s bloated ego just thinks he’s God.
Cook has now arguably dethroned Elon Musk as Trump’s favorite corporate CEO, and just like everyone else who tries to cozy up to Trump, this Cook is going to get burned. People are already trashing him on social media.
I’m sorry, but did anyone in Apple PR have the gonads to say to him, “Um, Mr. Cook, it’s probably not a good idea to present his majesty with more gold, lest the court jesters mock thee as the enemy.”
But Cook is such a coward, because if he doesn’t indulge and appease his majesty, Cook will also get burned on Trump’s Truth Social.
Just a side note, I always thought it was ironic that “musk” was close to the stink bomb Trump. But “cook” makes sense as the new heir to the throne because MSNBC’s Alex Wagner once said Trump smelled like “cooking oil.”
OK, now back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Cook has a history of schmoozing and groveling before Trump, but this latest stunt was way over the top. The gift, the photo op, the Nancy Reagan gaze, it was all too much.
I say this all the time because it’s always true: Cook’s toadiness was all about the money. If Trump told Cook to help build the new White House ballroom, Cook would have worn overalls with a tool belt to the White House on Wednesday. Like Cook or Apple needs more money.
Cook is one of the richest men alive, at the helm of one of the most powerful and lucrative companies in human history. Based on what happened this week, Cook apparently can’t get enough money. So he stoops low enough to inhale the gaseous fumes of Trump in exchange for favor and profit.
It’s an overtly sickening sight, especially if you’re a queer employee at Apple or a poorly paid worker in South Asia making the very devices Cook uses to buy power and access.
Instead of issuing a dignified press release on Wednesday to announce Apple’s latest U.S. investment, which, if it even materializes, won’t show results anytime soon, Cook chose to deliver it in person so Trump could bask in the announcement’s glow. As if he had anything to do with it.
Well, he did, by extorting companies with tariff threats. Trump bullies corporations into making splashy investments on U.S. soil to avoid the wrath of tariffs, while conveniently scoring political points along the way. Like he did on Wednesday with Cook. The optics and location suggest Trump made this happen.
And while these announcements might sound good in headlines, they mostly serve wealthy multinational corporations that can afford to throw money at Trump and weather the tariff storm. Small businesses will suffer mightily. They can’t curry favor with golden trinkets and billion-dollar press conferences. They just try to survive.
Under Trump, the rich are thriving, wealthy individuals are profiting off tax breaks from the “big beautiful bill,” and corporate empires are handing him 24-karat gold as tribute. Meanwhile, Trump’s war on higher education means only the wealthy will soon be able to afford a degree.
If Cook’s foaming at the pulpit with Trump showed anything, it’s that only the rich survive in the era of the gilded Donald.
When all else fails, as it was my hope that corporate America would step up, or step in and rescue democracy. But honestly, since so many companies caved to Trump by scrapping their DEI programs (Apple didn’t, but it can get away with having DEI because of Cook’s money and tricks), they’ll most likely continue to bend their knees, or get on their knees.
All hope is gone that they would be the grown-ups in the room. The institutions with resources, independence, and influence. But if Tim Cook, one of the most prominent CEOs in the world, is any indication, then we’re in freefall.
If this is what leadership looks like, then we will be living under authoritarian rule faster than you can say “iPhone.” And that’s the kicker. We can all say what we want about Tim Cook. We can ridicule him. We can protest his prostration to Trump. We can threaten to boycott…
No, we can’t. Because we are all addicted to our iPhones, our iPads, and our Macs, and so when push comes to shove, we’ll laugh, shrug, shake our fists, and then turn our heads back toward our phones.
Cook may come across as approachable and chill, but make no mistake, he is, at his core, a ruthless money-monger. He showed us who he is. He proved he’s no different from Mike Johnson, Sam Altman, Shari Redstone, or any of the others handing Trump their loyalty in the form of adulation, power, and, yes, gold.
And he feeds our addiction, while ducking out of responsibility for capitulation to a dictator.
Voices is dedicated to featuring a wide range of inspiring personal stories and impactful opinions from the LGBTQ+ community and its allies. Visit Advocate.com/submit to learn more about submission guidelines. Views expressed in Voices stories are those of the guest writers, columnists, and editors, and do not directly represent the views of The Advocate or our parent company, equalpride.
The U.S. State Department is redoing its human rights reports on other countries, omitting anti-LGBTQ+ persecution, gender-based crimes, and other information the reports have traditionally included.
Leaked drafts of reports reviewed byThe Washington Poston El Salvador, Israel, and Russia “strike all references to LGBTQ+ individuals or crimes against them, and the descriptions of government abuses that do remain have been softened,” the Post reports.
The drafts, which cover 2024, are significantly shorter than they have usually been, and they have been long delayed. The reports for the previous year are supposed to be sent to Congress by the end of February, and they are generally released to the public in March or April. Most of the reports for 2024 were nearly done by the time the Biden administration ended in January, current and former officials told the Post, but the Trump administration is now rewriting them.
Buckingham criticized Secretary of State Marco Rubio, who had praised the department’s human rights reports when he was a senator. “Secretary Rubio has repeatedly asserted that his State Department has not abandoned human rights, but it is clear by this and other actions that this administration only cares about the human rights of some people … in some countries, when it’s convenient to them,” Buckingham, who is now managing director at the Council for Global Equality, told the Post.
Also, the report on El Salvador minimizes the issue of prison violence, and the one on Israel downplays political corruption and surveillance of Palestinians.
The Advocate sought comment from the State Department, which referred us to a transcript of the press briefing conducted Thursday by Thomas Pigott, the department’s principal deputy spokesperson. One reporter asked him, “Can you explain why the State Department is rewriting the human rights report? I understand it’s coming out soon, but it’s been changed and that you’re dropping certain things like LGBTQ rights. Just explain why.”
Pigott said the changes are designed “to make it more readable, to make it more digestible, and also to reflect some of the changing priorities that we’ve seen from the previous administration to this one, priorities that were voted by the American people and we at the State Department are here to carry out and fulfill.”
The journalist then asked if the department sees human rights reporting “as a political tool.” Pigott replied, “It’s more of just making sure that we’re implementing the policy and priority of this administration. It’s not political in terms of how that was described.”
What if the tidal wave of anti-trans legislation sweeping across America could be traced, in part, to the wounded pride of the world’s wealthiest man?
Elon Musk—CEO of Tesla, SpaceX, and X (formerly Twitter)—is not just a public figure. He is a force of culture, capital, and controversy. But behind his carefully crafted persona of rebellious genius lies a quieter, more personal story: that of a child who transitioned, took a new name, and severed ties with her father.
Musk’s daughter, a transgender woman, filed legal paperwork in 2022 to change her name and gender identity. She made her wishes unmistakable: she no longer wanted to “be related to [her father] in any way, shape or form.” In other words, she rejected not just his name but his brand, his ideology, and—perhaps most painfully—the Olympian-ordained quest for patronal approval: a pursuit he may have seen as mythic, even heroic, but which she experienced as petty, hollow, and in the end, anticlimactic.
Soon after, Musk began using his platform and his wallet to signal animosity toward the trans community. He posted mocking comments about pronouns, amplified far-right accounts known for targeting trans people, and donated upward of $250 million to GOP candidates and causes, many of whom subsequently centered their campaigns around anti-trans policy agendas.
This raises a chilling question: Could the extraordinary vitriol we see directed at trans people—particularly trans youth—be fueled not by ideology or feigned concern, but by the private grievances of the world’s richest man?
Consider the influence such a donor wields: Musk’s money helped fund legislative efforts to ban gender-affirming care, restrict educational content, police bathrooms, and strip legal protections from an already vulnerable segment of our population. His contributions empowered candidates who thrive on cultural wedge issues, and the trans community quickly became the favored target. We are watching state after state move to criminalize doctors, isolate families, and erase trans existence from public life.
For what? To win elections? To consolidate power? Or perhaps, to settle a personal score.
At the highest levels of wealth, taxation becomes optional, and power can become addictive. The wealthiest Americans often carry expectations on par with their wealth: comfort raised to the height of luxury; levels of quality that pass for perfection; and a final-word authority that’s rarely, if ever, challenged. But when that authority is challenged—especially by a dependent declaring autonomy—the reaction can be ferocious.
This is not to suggest that the anti-trans movement began with Elon Musk. It didn’t. But his story exemplifies a larger truth: personal grievances, when paired with immense economic and political capital, can rapidly metastasize into public policy.
What would it mean if the pain of one estranged father helped bankroll the suffering of thousands of children like his own?
We often ask ourselves how we got here—how a group as small and marginalized as the trans community came to be painted as a threat to the republic. The answer may be as human as it is disturbing: hurt people hurt people. When the hurt person is a billionaire, the damage can metastasize into the systemic oppression of our disenfranchised.
We can no longer afford to treat this wave of cruelty as the usual ebb and flow of politics. It is something darker, more intimate, and immensely more dangerous. World history compels us to recognize this for what it is—a tale repeatedly told, with a moral repeatedly forgotten:
When private vendettas are allowed to dictate public policy, no one is safe.
Voices is dedicated to featuring a wide range of inspiring personal stories and impactful opinions from the LGBTQ+ community and its allies. Visit Advocate.com/submit to learn more about submission guidelines. Views expressed in Voices stories are those of the guest writers, columnists, and editors, and do not directly represent the views of The Advocate or our parent company, equalpride.
A South Dakota community has rallied to help a transgender couple buy the town’s only bookstore now that the state’s anti-trans bathroom ban has forced its original owner to move east to protect his 10-year-old daughter.
As The Washington Post reports, the people of Vermillion, South Dakota have so far donated over $27,000 via a GoFundMe campaign for Nova and Elias Donstad to make a down payment on Outside of a Dog, a beloved family-owned bookstore. The shop’s owner, Mike Phelan, opened the store shortly after moving to Vermillion with his family five years ago and discovering that the town did not have a bookstore. He named it after comedian Groucho Marx’s quip, “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend.”
Now, though, the Phelans are moving to New England because of South Dakota’s recently passed law banning trans people from using bathrooms that align with their gender identity.
Mike and his wife Jen’s trans daughter has identified as a girl from an early age. In 2021, the couple successfully lobbied the Vermillion School Board to adopt a policy allowing their daughter to use the girls’ restroom — making it the only district in all of South Dakota with such a policy.
The following year, Republican state Rep. Fred Deutsch introduced a bill to ban transgender students from using the restroom that corresponds to their gender. Mike spoke out against the bill at the time, sharing his daughter’s story, and it ultimately failed to pass. But this year, a similar bill succeeded.
In recent years, however, the state has also passed laws banning trans girls from participating in school sports that align with their gender, and on gender-affirming care for minors. As the Post notes, the Phelans’ daughter is too young for medical intervention and is not interested in sports. The state’s bathroom ban, however, would force her to use the boys’ restroom at school or potentially go back to faking injuries so that she could use the school nurse’s bathroom. The Phelans, like many other families of trans kids, have opted to move to a state with explicit legal protections for their daughter.
As the Post notes, South Dakota’s anti-trans laws have ripple effects beyond trans people and their families. In the case of Vermillion, the town stood to lose not only beloved community members when the Phelans left, but its only bookstore as well.
That’s where the Donstads came in. Elias, a trans grad student, and Nova, a nonbinary nurse’s assistant, offered to buy Outside of a Dog from the Phelans. Unsure how they would manage the down payment, the Donstads started their GoFundMe campaign at the suggestion of another Vermillion local, and the town helped them raise the money they needed. With the sale finalized, Mike Phelan recently handed the bookshop over to its new owners.
Both on Mike’s last day at the store and at a farewell party that evening, Vermillion residents turned out in droves to express their sadness at losing the Phelans, their frustration with Republican attacks on their daughter’s rights, and their relief that the bookstore would live on.
One couple introduced themselves to the new owners. “We will support you,” they told Elias and Nova. “We want you here.”
The Air Force is denying early retirement to all transgender service members with between 15 and 18 years of military service, opting instead to force them out with no retirement benefits, according to a memo seen by Reuters.
These longer-serving transgender service members will have the same choice as more junior ones: quit or be forced out, with corresponding lump-sum payments as they walk out the door, the August 4 memo says.
The move is the latest escalation by President Donald Trump’s administration as it seeks to bar transgender individuals from joining the U.S. military and remove all who are currently serving. The Pentagon says transgender individuals are medically unfit, something civil rights activists say is untrue and constitutes illegal discrimination.
“After careful consideration of the individual applications, I am disapproving all Temporary Early Retirement Authority (TERA) exception to policy requests in Tabs 1 and 2 for members with 15-18 years of service,” the memo said.
It was signed by Brian Scarlett, who is performing the duties of the assistant secretary of the Air Force for manpower and reserve affairs. The memo has not been previously reported.
Multiple service members had already been approved for early retirement, but those approvals were rescinded, advocates say. An Air Force spokesperson said a subset of applications were “prematurely approved.”
“It’s devastating,” said Shannon Minter of the National Center for LGBTQ Rights. “This is just betrayal of a direct commitment made to these service members.”
The Air Force’s decision follows a policy detailed in a May 23 memo, which stated that airmen with 15-18 years of service could request early retirement.
When asked by Reuters about the decision, the Air Force noted that it approved early retirement for more senior members who self-identified as transgender and had 18-20 years of service. Regular retirement happens after 20 years.
In an internal question-and-answer fact sheet seen by Reuters, the Air Force provided potential answers to the question: “How do I tell family we’re not getting retirement benefits?”
The answers were:
“Focus on the benefits you do retain (GI Bill, VA benefits, experience)
“Emphasize this doesn’t reflect on your service or character.”
“Military & Family Readiness can provide counseling resources.”
Minter said the financial impact on transgender service members would be severe, costing them hundreds of thousands of dollars over their lifetimes in denied benefits due to the Trump administration’s policy.
Despite ongoing legal challenges, a Supreme Court ruling in May cleared the way for the Pentagon to implement a ban on transgender individuals from serving in the U.S. military.
There are 4,240 U.S. active-duty and National Guard transgender troops, officials have said. Transgender rights advocates have given higher estimates.
Trump signed an executive order in January, after returning to the presidency, that reversed a policy implemented under his predecessor Joe Biden that had allowed transgender troops to serve openly.
A Gallup poll published in February found that 58% of Americans favored allowing openly transgender individuals to serve in the military, but the support had declined from 71% in 2019.
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has embraced conservative stances, including eliminating diversity initiatives at the Pentagon.
Addressing a conference in May, Hegseth said: “No more pronouns, no more climate-change obsessions, no more emergency vaccine mandates, no more dudes in dresses.”
In 2024, law enforcement agencies sharing data with the FBI reported 2,278 single-bias hate crimes based on sexual orientation and 527 based on gender identity. For sexual orientation-motivated crimes, that’s a drop of 5 percent from 2023’s tally of 2,402. For crimes based on gender identity, that’s a drop of 3 percent from 2023’s total of 547. Crimes in both categories had risen from 2022 to 2023.
But the numbers are still unacceptably high, activists say, and anti-LGBTQ+ political rhetoric is often to blame.
There were an estimated 1,221,345 violent crimes nationwide, a decrease of 4.5 percent from the 2023 estimate, the FBI report notes.
There were 16,419 agencies participating in the FBI’s Hate Crime Statistics Data Collection program for 2024. Of those, 3,127 (19 percent) reported 11,679 incidents. The remaining 81 percent of agencies reported that no hate crimes occurred in their jurisdictions.
Of the 11,323 single-bias incidents reported, 17.2 percent were motivated by the victim’s sexual orientation. That was the third-largest category, with crimes based on race, ethnicity, or ancestry being first and religiously motivated crimes second. There were 4.1 percent based on gender identity bias, the fourth-largest category.
The crimes based on sexual orientation included 51.8 percent classified as anti-gay male bias; 37.1 percent prompted by anti-lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (mixed group) bias; 8.1 percent classified as anti-lesbian bias; 2 percent classified as anti-bisexual bias; and 1 percent motivated by anti-heterosexual bias.
Of the single-bias crimes based on gender identity, 72.5 percent were anti-transgender and 27.5 percent were anti-gender-nonconformity.
The majority of all hate crimes were against people rather than property. Crimes against people included intimidation, simple assault, aggravated assault, rape, and murder. There were 21 rapes and seven murders reported.
“The FBI’s 2024 hate crime data has revealed a national emergency hiding in plain sight. Everyone deserves to be safe in this country and have the chance to thrive. But anti-equality politicians continue to spread lies about LGBTQ+ people, trying to push us out of more and more corners of society,” said a statementreleased by Human Rights Campaign President Kelley Robinson. “Those smears come with a cost. The FBI has exposed a chilling reality: our community remains a target of violence — and that is unacceptable. LGBTQ+ people, just like everyone else, should be free to live our lives, pursue our careers and education, build our homes and pursue our American Dreams, without the threat of violence hanging over our heads. This FBI data is clear: we need more support from our political leaders, not animosity and attacks that seek to demonize us.”
Jacob Zieben and Jacob Paulson were fast friends when they met in 2013. Aside from their shared name, the pair were both young gay men fresh out of college who recently moved to New York City.
After two years spent glued at the hip, Paulson said their dynamic quickly changed after his friend, a personal trainer from Texas, started dating model Donald Hood.
“He just vanished,” Paulson said this week in a phone interview, choking up. “I had no contact with him, and I just wanted him to be happy, and that’s all I really cared about. And I was hoping that he was.”
Although the loss of the friendship stung, Paulson said he moved on years ago. He didn’t attend his former friend’s 2020 wedding and was only aware from social media that Jacob and Donald both changed their last names to Zieben-Hood.
But Paulson was shocked and flooded with memories when, just two weeks ago, he saw his former friend’s name in the headlines after police found the 34-year-old dead inside his Harlem apartment.
When authorities entered the apartment on July 31 after Donald called for help, they found Jacob slumped over his toilet with a gash on his head and multiple stab wounds to the back of his leg, one deep enough to penetrate muscle, according to charging documents.
His death came after years of alleged abuse dating to 2022, detailed in a series of charging documents against Donald on felony counts including strangulation and menacing. Those charges remain pending.
Donald, a 40-year-old model with over 67,000 Instagram followers, was arrested on July 31 and charged with several crimes, including burglary. He is currently being held at Rikers Island without bail. Prosecutors have not charged anyone with murder or named a suspect for Jacob’s death, citing his pending autopsy, but said they are investigating the case as a homicide.
In the days since his death, Paulson and seven others who knew Jacob spoke with NBC News as they slowly learned about the personal trainer’s life over the last decade. And while his fatal stabbing comes as a shock, those who knew Jacob believe Donald cut out his friends — and potential lifelines — years before he truly needed them.
“I wish I had done more, but, in hindsight, what would you do?” said one of Jacob’s old friends, Marti G. Cummings.
Donald’s attorney declined to comment.
After studying biomedical sciences at Texas A&M University, Jacob moved to New York City in 2013 and quickly met Paulson and Joshua Baker.
Paulson and Baker said that the trio never went “anywhere without each other” and spent endless days cooped up in Jacob’s Hell’s Kitchen apartment, which they say overlooked Central Park, playing video games, eating fried food, and daydreaming about their futures.
“We were these cute little misfits that were trying to figure out where we fit in New York society,” Baker said.
Cummings met Jacob around the same time and gravitated toward his selflessness and desire for community. A prominent New York City drag queen who uses they/them pronouns, Cummings said Jacob would frequently walk them between gigs late at night to make sure they got there safely.
“He was a protector, which is why I think it makes this whole thing sadder,” Cummings said. “He didn’t get to be protected from this.”
Jacob Zieben with friend, Marti G. Cummings.Courtesy Marti G. Cummings
Lauren Foster, a friend of Donald’s since 2000, described him as “a good guy” and said that she was never under the impression that his relationship was troubled. She did, however, acknowledge that the roles Jacob and Donald played were clear.
“I don’t think he had a ton of friends,” Foster said of Jacob. “Don was kind of the alpha in the relationship.”
“There’s always one person that’s dominant in the relationship, and that was definitely Don,” she added. “I think Don would be the alpha in any relationship. He’s larger than life.”
Baker said that shortly after Jacob met Donald in the spring of 2015, Jacob began dodging invitations, declining phone calls, and ignoring text messages. Soon, Baker noted, Jacob started to even block his friends’ phone numbers.
Jonathan Starkey, a friend from Texas, recalled that in one conversation around that time, Jacob said that “a lot had changed, and that Donald was a little possessive and jealous and kind of restricted who he was in touch with.”
“Jacob wasn’t really someone who let people tell him what to do, which is why it’s so strange,” Starkey said.
Jacob’s abrupt silence prompted Baker to reach out to Donald.
“Jacob is doing very well,” Donald wrote to Baker in a November 5, 2015, direct message on Facebook, according to screenshots of the conversation provided to NBC News. “He’s decided to break away from his past, which unfortunately included his closest friends, in order to move forward with a healthy life.”
“He’s been very focused and is back on the right track in his life and in order to remain focused he will remain out of contact for the moment,” Donald added.
For years, the only updates Jacob’s friends received about their friend came through social media, where images from the couple’s Instagrams showed what appeared to be a happy couple who traveled the world and lived a glamorous New York life. The pair posted loving selfies, pictures from their wedding in 2020, and snapshots with their families.
But court documents paint a prolonged pattern of alleged abuse in the relationship that authorities say started in 2022.
Prosecutors said in the charging documents filed after Jacob’s death that Donald had nine domestic incident reports filed against him since 2022, but did not provide more details about the nature of the incidents or who filed them. In November 2024, an order of protection was issued in New York County Criminal Court that directed Donald to cease communication and stay away from Jacob, according to charging documents associated with Donald’s arrest in February.
In February, Donald was arrested and charged with strangulation, among several other charges, for allegedly attacking Jacob inside the Harlem apartment. Jacob “almost lost consciousness, and sustained swelling, substantial pain, and redness to his neck” from the incident, according to the charging documents. Donald pleaded not guilty to the charges in the case that is still pending.
A second court order of protection was issued in criminal court in April, which once again prevented Donald from seeing or communicating with Jacob.
Donald was arrested again in June and charged with criminal contempt and menacing, according to court documents. The court records allege that Donald held a knife in Jacob’s direction and said, “I will attack you.” He pleaded not guilty to the charges, and the case is still pending.
Paulson said that earlier this year, Jacob followed him on Instagram and gave him hope that the friends might reconnect after a brief exchange in March.
“I was so excited to have that prospect of him coming back into my life after I’d kind of let him go as a friend,” Paulson said. “And then to have it really just permanently end, it’s just devastated me. It’s really wrecked me.”
Members of the New York City Office of Chief Medical Examiner remove the body of Influencer model Jacob Zieben-Hood in Harlem, New York, on Aug. 1.Kyle Mazza / NurPhoto/Shutterstock
Donald called 911 on July 31 from Jacob’s one-bedroom apartment at West 138th Street and told them he found his husband dead on the toilet.
When police arrived, they found Donald sitting on their couch with three cuts to his arm that later required stitches, a black eye, and bite marks, according to a criminal complaint. He told authorities that Jacob had attacked him.
However, prosecutors say that Jacob called his father from the bathroom before the attack and allegedly told him that Donald “was coming at him with knives and preventing him from leaving the apartment,” according to the criminal complaint. During the call, Jacob’s father allegedly heard Donald screaming derogatory names at Jacob in the background, the complaint added.
Donald was arrested later that day and charged with burglary, aggravated criminal contempt, criminal contempt in the first degree and possession of a weapon. On Thursday, he was scheduled to appear in court, but a judge waived his appearance at the request of his attorney.
He is now set to appear on September 12, almost a month after Jacob’s funeral, scheduled for this weekend in San Antonio.
As authorities continue to investigate the case, Jacob’s friends have been connecting and sharing old memories of their late friend.
“Years can go by, but he was our family till’ the end,” Baker said.
Carmeisha and Cory Williams filed suit Wednesday in U.S. District Court for the Middle District of Alabama against the Elba City Board of Education and two past principals of Elba High School, Wynn Grimes and Warren Weeks. The Williamses are represented by Artur Davis at HKM Employment Attorneys and Matthew Billips, Constance Cooper, and Ben Stark at Barrett and Farahany.
Their child, S.W., came out as gay and gender-neutral in seventh grade, according to the suit. They requested to be called Shane and use they/them pronouns. S.W. had been verbally harassed by white students since elementary school for being mixed-race, but “following S.W.’s disclosure of a transgenderidentity in seventh grade, harassment and ridicule from students only intensified,” the suit says. “Teachers refused to use S.W.’s preferred name or preferred pronouns, despite an absence of school policies precluding them from doing so.”
Both students and teachers mocked S.W. for their naming requests. The teen “was further bullied and mocked for assuming traditionally male appearance in terms of manner of clothing and hairstyle,” the suit says.
From April 4 to April 18, 2023, S.W. was hospitalized for mental health treatment related to suicidal ideation caused by bullying by classmates and teachers. Carmeisha Williams informed Grimes of S.W.’s mental health status and asked him to take action, but he “made a conscious decision not to remedy the harassment,” the suit says. Grimes failed to provide the family with bullying reporting forms, as required by Alabama law, or even tell them such forms are available, according to the suit.
When S.W. returned to school, “in a stunning display of cruelty, Students mocked S.W.’s mental health status, calling them ‘crazy’ and telling them they ‘should try better next time’ to kill themselves,” the suit says. “At one point, when S.W. became ill and vomited from anti-anxiety medication, other students viciously accused S.W. of being pregnant.”
In May 2023, the Williams family tried to transfer S.W. to Coffee County Schools, but the Elba district refused to allow the transfer.
Weeks became principal of Elba High School June 3, 2023. “Superintendent [Christopher] Moseley specifically recruited Weeks for this position despite being warned by guidance counselor Buffy Lusk that Weeks had a documented history of verbal and physical violence against students, teachers, and parents at Goshen High School,” the suit says. Lusk had been a source of support for S.W., but she decided to resign when Weeks was hired.
When S.W. returned to school August 7, 2023, they told Weeks “they were being bullied based on race, sexual orientation, gender identity, and mental health status,” according to the filing. But Weeks, like his predecessor, did not provide S.W. with a bullying complaint form, the suit says.
The next day, Weeks confronted S.W. in front of about 50 other students as the lunch period was beginning. Weeks forcibly removed S.W.’s hoodie, revealing that the teen was wearing only a small tank top underneath and exposing the outline of their breasts and their self-harm scars. S.W. had to continue classes in only the tank top all day.
“On August 9, 2023, S.W. died by suicide, leaving behind a note that referenced the persistent bullying and harassment they had endured at school, specifically mentioning the students their parents had complained about,” the suit says. S.W. was 14 years old.
The suit accuses the school district of violating Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 and Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, both laws that prohibit discrimination in federally funded programs, and two other federal laws, the Americans With Disabilities Act and the Rehabilitation Act. It accuses all defendants of violating the constitutional guarantee of equal protection. It also accuses Weeks of violating the constitutional guarantee of substantive due process as well as committing battery and “extreme and outrageous conduct.”
The suit seeks a jury trial, punitive and compensatory damages, and for the court to “issue permanent injunctive relief requiring comprehensive anti-bullying and anti-discrimination policies, mandatory training for staff, and clear protocols for addressing harassment complaints.”
“Our Constitution and our laws are not silent about the obligations to children in public schools: they are to be nurtured and protected, not abandoned to cruelty,” Davis said in a press release. “This lawsuit seeks accountability for a school system’s failure to respect this child’s life.”
“How any responsible school system could put a bully in charge of stopping bullies is beyond me,” Billips added. “They might as well put inmates in charge of the prison. I’m grateful there’s a new administration and hopefully they will turn this shameful episode into something that approaches justice for S.W. and their parents.”
If you or someone you know needs mental health resources and support, please call, text, or chat with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or visit988lifeline.org for 24/7 access to free and confidential services. Trans Lifeline, designed for transgender or gender-nonconforming people, can be reached at (877) 565-8860. The lifeline also provides resources to help with other crises, such as domestic violence situations. The Trevor Project Lifeline, for LGBTQ+ youth (ages 24 and younger), can be reached at (866) 488-7386. Users can also access chat services at TheTrevorProject.org/Help or text START to 678678.
Growing up, Kenzie remembers dragging her feet as her mom sent her to American Heritage Girls (AHG) programs.
“I describe it as Girl Scouts but indoctrination,” says Kenzie, a 20-year-old dance major from Oklahoma.
“Ever since I was little, I always knew I was queer; different from the people around me. … [In the eyes of AHG staff] it felt wrong to be feminine, but also wrong to be masculine.”
AHG and Trail Life USA—a similar organization for boys—havetroops in all 50 states and more than 110,000 members. They teach kids that homosexuality is sinful and that anything outside the gender binary is wrong. The messaging is often provided by anti-LGBTQ hate groups, like Focus on the Family, which still promotes so-called conversion therapy.
“AHG and Trail Life’s fixation on ‘sexual immorality’ reinforces a theology that punishes non-heterosexual, non-monogamous, non-cis lives,” says Fernando Salinas-Quiroz, an assistant professor at Tufts University who specializes in child study and human development.
“LGBTQ-exclusive policies don’t just harm the kids they shut out—they send a loud, damaging message to the kids inside, too,” they say. “It’s awful. But more than that, it’s strategic. These policies are not accidents—they are deliberate projects to maintain a binary, heteronormative, Christian nationalist order.”
These changes were too much for Patti Garibay, a devout conservative Christian who, in 1995, founded AHG as a Christian alternative.
Almost 20 years later, in 2013, AHG leadership helped launch Trail Life USA, the conservative Christian alternative to the Boy Scouts which was created after the organization announced that they would allow openly gay members.
John Stemberger, who was chairman of the board at Trail Life when it was founded, said in a 2024 interview of the Boy Scouts’ decision to allow gay members that “they’re going to allow an openly gay boy to decide who he’s gonna unilaterally sleep with. … This absolutely creates a radical increase of boy-on-boy contact.”
John Stemberger discusses the Boy Scouts’ inclusion of gay youth.
Salinas-Quiroz thinks the Christian hypersexualization of kids is concerning. “Suggesting that a gay boy choosing a tentmate is a threat isn’t just homophobic: It sexualizes queer presence, equates intimacy with danger, and teaches all kids to see desire, affection, and identity through a lens of fear.”
Exclusionary Membership Policies
This fear is baked into all of AHG’s and Trail Life’s policies. AHG’s membership policy says, “All biological girls of any color, race, national origin and socioeconomic status … are invited to be members of [AHG].” The term “biological girls” is a transphobic dog whistle which implies a person’s “real” sex can only be either male or female—denying the reality of transgender and intersex people.
“They’re ignoring both the scientific evidence and the lived experiences of so many of us,” says Salinas-Quiroz.
American Heritage Girls logo.
Trail Life’s handbook states, “[A]ny sexual activity outside the context of the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman is sinful. … We grant membership to adults and youth who do not engage in or promote sexual immorality of any kind.”
Homophobia and Transphobia in the Form of Strict Gender Roles
Kenzie remembers AHG “prepping us to be good mothers one day, like learning how to sew. … Activities that would make us good and pure Christian girls.” She says they didn’t do much outdoors. “You don’t need to be playing a ton outside, that’s what boys do,” they would tell her.
“I remember from a young age hearing, ‘This will make you a good housewife, a good mom.’ Who’s to say I want to get married? Who’s to say I want to have children?” says Kenzie, who only felt comfortable using her first name because she isn’t out to her family. “It felt like [AHG was] putting us in a very gendered box.”
Being forced to conform to the gender binary is also true over at Trail Life. “No matter what our culture says, boys and girls are different,” reads one blog post by Trail Life entitled “Letting Boys be Boys in a ‘Toxic’ Culture.”
“Discussions about ‘toxic masculinity,’ a blurring of gender lines, fewer and fewer fathers in the home, and the watering down or extinction of programs that train and equip boys to become men have left too many boys frustrated, fearful, and floundering in their struggle to understand what it means to be a man.”
At Trail Life, even though women are allowed to assist a troop, only men can become leaders “so that they can show the boys what it is like to be a man,” according to another blog post. “You need men to instill masculinity into boys, helping show them how to become a man.”
What Do They Teach?
Both AHG and Trail Life provide resources for parents and carers of young people that serve to bolster their anti-LGBTQ teachings.
In 2020, Trail Life—which operates as a ministry—partnered with two Southern Poverty Law Center-designated anti-LGBTQ hate groups: the Alliance Defending Freedom and Focus on the Family. The groups presented a webinar for troop leaders and connected officials that explored “religious freedom, child safety and gender confusion.”
“We need to know there is not an LGBT community. … So don’t think that any of us have to be respectful of the LGBT community,” Glenn Stanton, director of Family Formation Studies at Focus on the Family, said during the webinar.
Stanton also used the discussion to promote conversion therapy resources from Focus on the Family’s partner organizations for those who “struggle with unwanted same-sex attractions.”
“Same-sex feelings and all that is rooted in just pure political ideology, [and] those things have to be resisted,” he told pastors and ministry leaders on the webinar.
Screenshot from Focus on the Family’s presentation at the Trail Life Protect Your Ministry Summit.
In 2022, AHG self-published an e-book called “A Raising Godly Girls Guide to Gender and Identity,” aimed at supporting parents whose children are questioning their gender or experiencing gender dysphoria. The book—written by an unnamed author—undermines and denies the reality of transgender and gender-diverse identities.
The cover of AHG’s book, A Raising Godly Girls Guide to Gender & Identity.
In the founder’s note, Garibay writes, “For centuries, the beauty of God-given femininity has been under attack, its definition debated, [and] its behavior contested. … Today, it has gone one step further to claim an embrace of non-binary sexual identity.”
The anonymous authors define so-called “Biblical femininity” as “the core essence of every woman … relational, nurturing, and vulnerable beings.” They suggest that readers who know someone “struggling with confusion” should encourage them to go through conversion therapy by “[seeking] the professional clinical and spiritual care of a Christian counselor and … find[ing] healing.”
“This narrative may be cloaked in spiritual language, but its function is deeply political: It teaches girls that their value lies in submission, emotional labor and supporting others—particularly men—rather than in discovering who they are on their own terms,” says Salinas-Quiroz. “These [gender] roles aren’t natural—they’re socially constructed and often steeped in colonial, white-supremacist and Christian nationalist ideals.”
Rgg Gender And Identity E Book For Media4.19MB ∙ PDF file
Trail Life’s counterpart book, Raising Godly Boys, teaches a patriarchal view of masculinity—one that requires men to view care as feminine and positions women as less capable. “Women, for the most part, may not be the strong, action-oriented, stoic risk-takers men are. There is beauty and intention in these differences.”
“What [Trail Life] really means is that boys must perform a very specific kind of masculinity—one tied to dominance, emotional suppression and patriarchal authority. … These messages don’t just harm [queer] youth,” says Salinas-Quiroz. “They also limit cis children, especially those who don’t see themselves reflected in these rigid templates.”
It’s unlikely AHG’s or Trail Life’s LGBTQ-exclusive membership policies will face a legal challenge anytime soon. Both groups have some protection because of a 2000 Supreme Court ruling which upheld the Boy Scouts’ First Amendment right to exclude an assistant scoutmaster after learning he was “an avowed homosexual and gay rights activist.”
There is, however, a new, more inclusive option that’s gaining momentum. Founded in 2014 after Michael Brown and Eric Garner were killed by police officers, the Radical Monarchs is an alternative scouting organization for girls and gender-expansive youth, rooted in social justice and aimed specifically at girls of color to provide kids with a place where difference is celebrated, not disciplined.
Radical Monarchs badge.
“Rather than asking how to raise boys into men and girls into women, we should be asking how to raise young people into whole compassionate human beings. This requires spaces rooted in trust, exploration and self-determination—not segregation and control,” says Salinas-Quiroz.
“Children know who they are. Our job is to listen, affirm and make space for that knowing to grow.”
Kenzie says she’s done “a lot of unpacking” after her years at AHG and her Christian upbringing and says she’s now at peace. “If I could just be a straight cis woman and the ideal Christian girl it would make my life a hell of a lot easier, but I can’t push that into myself.”
The American Heritage Girls and Trail Life USA did not respond to Uncloseted Media’s request for comment.
