Lesbian sexuality expert and author Anna Pulley of the Bay Area spent a week trying popular marijuana sex product formulations with her partner, and her results — published March 8 — are both ’mixed’ and highly titillating.
Health practitioners have recommended cannabis for sexuality for thousands of years, however the advent of medical and recreational legalization is ushering in a heady new era of sex-oriented legal pot products, including alleged aphrodesiac strains, infused lubes, and tinctures.
The cannabis strain Slymer certainly scored a big ‘O’ with Pulley. “I came like a kite breaking, like a disco roller skate party. It was intense and swift. My God, Slymer. I ain’t afraid of no ghosts,” Pulley writes.
However, a popular marijuana-infused personal lubricant resulted in icky sensations but negligible effects. “Cold, invasive, it smells faintly of flowers dipped in sugar dipped in rubbing alcohol. We applied it several times, shrieking quietly each time the spray struck our skin, and waited.”
Later, five drops of love potion tincture “tasted less like ‘love,’ however, and more like a soap your mom would sell on Etsy. Which was unpleasant, but it did seem to produce a nice, glowy body warmth.”
On her final night of trials, Pulley pulled out all the stops, “Spraying every nether orifice with weed lube, we shared a joint (a house blend), we love-potioned, and we ate part of an edible. We oral-ed, we anal-ed, we strapped-on, we strapped-off—we tried everything we thought might be a boon to our baked genitalia.”
But it wasn’t meant to be.
“Aside from a slight, tingly warmth, any sensation at all was barely noticeable.”
“I also could not remember the word ‘negate,’ (my dirty talk involves PSAT vocabulary) and instead said, ’It breaks the point. I mean, you know, it breaks, it makes the thing not.’”
Still, cannabis did help Pulley overcome a common barrier to orgasm for women — an inability to let the mind wander.
“During one particular enmeshed-lesbian moment, … I felt adrift on a stormy sea of sweat and light and movement.”
“The weed-sex experiment may have been a one-hit wonder, but it did offer a nice temporary reprieve from my swirly mind-vortex.”
Congratulations, Anna — you win the internet. All advertisers, please contact Anna directly for placement.
We’d also add that science tells us cannabis has “bi-phasic” effects, meaning it might help the mind wander at low doses, but cause anxious self-awareness at high doses, which might have been a problem here. “‘Less is more’” is often the case with respect to cannabis therapy,” researchers state.
In related news, Pulley reads from her new book, The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (with Cats!), on April 21 at The Booksmith.
And for those interested in catching Slymer — the strain is reportedly a phenotype of TGA Subcool Seeds’ Chernobyl, also called “The Golden Ticket”. It is a mix of the strains Trainwreck, Trinity, and Jack the Ripper and tastes like “lime Slurpee or sherbert” with extremely potent effects capable of “flat lining your brain waves”, which might be just what the pot doctor ordered.