The Asexual Education and Visibility Network (AVEN) defines asexuality as: “Someone who does not experience sexual attraction or an intrinsic desire to have sexual relationships.”
There is a lot of diversity in how people experience being asexual however, levels of sexual attraction can vary and asexual people are often still in romantic relationships.
The research found that those who identified as asexual “were as likely to report being in an intimate relationship as non-asexual LGB adults.”
They were also likely to as non-binary (72 percent) or as women (27 percent) and 86 percent were assigned female at birth.
People between the ages of 18 and 27 were also far more likely to identify as asexual.
Lead author of the study Esther D. Rothblum said: “Asexuality is an emerging identity.
Given that the majority of asexual respondents were young, we expect that the prevalence and understanding of asexuality will grow as more youth reach adolescence and become familiar with the identity.”
n March this year, the Williams institute published data which said that the total LGBT+ population in the US was 11,343,000, or 4.5 percent of the total population.
This new data would suggest that around 0.08 percent of the total US population, which is around 260,000 people, identify as asexual.
However the number is likely to be higher than this, as some people who identify as asexual may not also identify as part of the LGBT+ community.
Study author Ilan H. Meyer said: “We see in these results that asexuals are an integral part of the LGBT community.
“It is important to note, however, that this study only included asexuals who also identify as LGB, so the results are pertinent to a segment of the total asexual population. We have more to learn about asexual heterosexuals.”
The federal Office for Civil Rights has launched an investigation into Connecticut’s policy that allows transgender high school athletes to compete as the gender with which they identify.
The investigation was announced in a letter Wednesday from the arm of the U.S. Department of Education. It follows a complaint in June by the families of three girls, who say they were discriminated against by having to compete in track events against two athletes who were identified as male at birth and who they say have “male hormone levels and musculature.”
The complaint was submitted on the girls’ behalf by lawyers for the conservative non-profit organization Alliance Defending Freedom, which contends the transgender girls have an unfair physical advantage and that the state policy violates Title IX, the federal law designed to ensure equal opportunities for women and girls in education, including athletics.
They argue that allowing the transgender athletes to compete has resulted in denying their clients and others the opportunity to qualify for events such as the New England championships, where they would have been seen by college coaches.
“Girls should never be simply spectators in their own sport; they deserve to compete on a fair playing field,” said Selina Soule, a Glastonbury High School sprinter, who has consistently finished behind the two transgender athletes in state championships. “I hope that this important step will help return fairness to the sport I love.”
The Connecticut Association of Schools-Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference has said its policy follows a state anti-discrimination law that says students must be treated in school by the gender with which they identify.
The organization said in June it would cooperate fully with any investigation.
The transgender athletes in question, rising seniors Andraya Yearwood, of Cromwell High School, and Terry Miller, of Bloomfield High School, have both defended their participation in girls’ events.
Yearwood told The Associated Press in February that there are many differences among athletes that may give one a physical advantage over another, and she does not think she has an unfair advantage.
“One high jumper could be taller and have longer legs than another, but the other could have perfect form, and then do better,” she said. “One sprinter could have parents who spend so much money on personal training for their child, which in turn, would cause that child to run faster.”
Her mother said Yearwood would have no comment on Thursday.
Miller, who has won numerous state championships in both indoor and outdoor track, did not respond to a request for comment. But she told the Hartford Courant at the time the complaint was filed that it is “painful that my victories have to be attacked and my hard work ignored.”
Connecticut is one of 17 states that allow transgender high school athletes to compete without restrictions, according to Transathlete.com, which tracks state policies in high school sports across the country.
Seven states have restrictions that make it difficult for transgender athletes to compete while in school, like requiring athletes to compete under the gender on their birth certificate or allowing them to participate only after going through sex-reassignment procedures or hormone therapies.
An FDA advisory panel on Wednesday voted in favor of Gilead Sciences Inc’s combination drug to reduce the risk of sexually acquired HIV infection in men and transgender women who have sex with men.
The treatment, Descovy, is a combination of emtricitabine and tenofovir alafenamide, and is already approved to treat chronic HIV.
When asked to assess the efficacy of Descovy for pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) of HIV in men and transgender women who have sex with men, a patient population that forms the largest component of the PrEP market, the panel voted 16-2 in favor.
The recommendation is a shot in the arm for Gilead as its third best-selling HIV drug, Truvada, faces exclusivity loss in the United States, beginning 2020.
Truvada is largely boosted by its PrEP use, SVB Leerink analyst Geoffrey Porges said in a note ahead of the committee’s discussion. “Truvada grew at 15% last year, entirely due to PrEP.”
Descovy’s entry into the still underpenetrated PrEP market is vital to Gilead’s attempts to retain its Truvada patient base after the drug goes off-patent, he said.
Truvada accounted for 20.5% of the drugmaker’s total HIV franchise sales in 2018.
The panel’s backing also comes as a possible launch of Descovy for PrEP faces opposition from patient advocacy groups.
They cite the scheduled U.S. launch next September of a generic version of the only currently approved prevention pill, Truvada, that could lower costs.
The panel, however, said there was not enough data to support the expansion of Descovy’s label for use as a preventive HIV drug for cisgender women. The panel voted 10-8 against its approval in this patient population.
Cisgender women form less than 7% of PrEP use and the prospect of Descovy’s label not including the population is not likely to impact the drug’s sales, Jefferies analyst Michael Yee said in a note ahead of the panel’s decision.
The FDA is yet to make a final decision on Descovy’s approval for PrEP. While the agency is not bound to follow the advice of its advisory panels, it usually does so.
Stephen Ross, the billionaire investor behind SoulCycle and Equinox gym, is under fire for plans to host a fundraiser for President Trump in the Hamptons.
The fundraiser is scheduled for August 9 in Southampton, New York, with top priced tickets selling for $250,000, which includes a meeting with the president.
Ross is chairman of The Related Companies, a real estate company that owns Equinox, SoulCycle, and Pure Yoga. Related Companies is also behind the Hudson Yards development on the west side of Manhattan.
Ross is also the owner of NFL team the Miami Dolphins.
Equinox and SoulCycle are popular with the LGBTQ community and soon after the news broke, activists were calling for a boycott of the brands. Equinox itself touts its “clubs” as LGBTQ friendly and has a significant presence in LGBTQ pride parades around the country.
“This Pride, we’re celebrating life with one of the most powerful forms of movement—voguing,” says Equinox’s “Powered by Pride” website, which said the company raised $20,000 for a New York City Ballroom charity, and even posted a #PoweredByPride Equinox playlist on Spotify.
In a post on Instagram, Equinox acknowledged that “many members raised their concerns about a political fundraiser taking place later this week.”
“We want to let you know that Equinox and SoulCycle have nothing to do with the event and do not support it,” Equinox wrote, claiming that “no company profits are used to fund politicians.”
“Mr. Ross is a passive investor and is not involved with the management of the business,” the statement continued.
Actor Wilson Cruz created a Change.org petition calling on Ross to cancel the fundraiser or face additional cancellations.
“We believed that we were supporting a company that was inclusive, accepting and celebrating our diversity and supporting our physical and mental health as a community,” Cruz wrote. “We joined this gym because we believed it shared our values. We believed it was a safe space for people like us.”
“[I]f this fundraiser indeed does take place we will be looking for another gym to give our money to and we will be calling on our networks of LGBTQ and POC friends to do the same,” Cruz wrote.
Kenny Stills, wide receiver for Ross’ Miami Dolphins, criticized the move by saying it was at odds with the mission of the charitable organization founded by Ross. The Ross Initiative in Sports for Equality is a nonprofit which says its mission is to educate and empower the sports community “to eliminate racial discrimination, champion social justice and improve race relations.”
“You can’t have a non profit with this mission statement then open your doors to Trump,” Stills tweeted with a “skeptical” emoji.
Phillipe Reines, a former advisor to Hillary Clinton when she was Secretary of State, said on Twitter “No way to spin this. Boycott @soulcycle & @Equinox.”
Many others took to social media to say that they are canceling their Equinox membership, though others noted that it is very difficult to extract oneself from onerous contracts which allow few reasons for cancellation.
Gay actor and comedian Billy Eichner also tweeted that he canceled his membership. “There are a handful of billionaires who own everything and many support Trump,” Eichner wrote. “Practically speaking, it’s probably impossible to completely avoid them. But considering @Equinox’s clientele and how they’ve pandered to us, this one feels particularly hypocritical and shameful.”
New York Sports Clubs, a competitor, offered free admissions to its gyms on Friday: “This Friday, August 9th we’re not doing anything in Southampton,” NYSC tweeted. “Come work out with us.”
Ross issued a statement on Wednesday defending his political activism and gave no indication he would cancel the fundraiser.
“While some prefer to sit outside of the process and criticize, I prefer to engage directly and support the things I deeply care about,” Ross said in the statement given to NBC News.
“I have known Donald Trump for 40 years, and while we agree on some issues, we strongly disagree on many others and I have never been bashful about expressing my opinions,” Ross said. “I have been, and will continue to be, an outspoken champion of racial equality, inclusion, diversity, public education and environmental sustainability, and I have and will continue to support leaders on both sides of the aisle to address these challenges.”
According to the Washington Post, the event will be attended by Jared Kushner, Donald Trump Jr., Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel, as well as Trump campaign manager Brad Parscale.
In 1985, I was working in an STD clinic in Nashville, Tennessee, and was one of two HIV counselors doing pre-test and post-test counseling for people most likely getting the very first HIV test of their lives. There were NO anti-HIV medications available at that time, and the only ounce of hope you could impart to these newly infected people was that there appeared to be more HIV-positive (POZ) people not yet ill than there were POZ persons who were having symptoms. In 1985, untreated POZ people most likely had VERY high HIV viral loads (high amounts of active HIV virus in the body), were therefore very infectious and highly likely to pass HIV on to other sex or needle sharing partners.
In 2019, by contrast, we have a total of 51 medications at our disposal to fight HIV (33 individual anti-HIV meds and 18 combination anti-HIV meds). We are also finding that the majority of HIV patients consistently taking these anti-HIV meds have achieved undetectable levels of HIV in their bodies (defined as less than 200 copies/ml or a less than 200 HIV viral load). We know that current treatments are prolonging life for HIV POZ people. And in a true game-changer for the future of the epidemic , multiple studies have shown that HIV-positive people who are undetectable DO NOT transmit the virus to others!
A person is most infectious with the HIV virus during the first 3 months after they have been infected – if they are not taking meds. These newly HIV POZ persons often have a viral load between half a million to over TEN million in their blood, semen or vaginal fluids. The clinical implications of having a viral load of millions compared to having a viral load of under 200 are huge! That is why aggressive programs today seek to test people as early in HIV infection as possible, connect them to medical care and start them on anti-HIV meds as quickly as possible.
Across three different studies, including thousands of couples and many thousand acts of sex without a condom or pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), no HIV transmissions to an HIV-negative partner were observed when the HIV-positive person was virally suppressed. This means that people who take anti-HIV meds daily, as prescribed, and who achieve and maintain an undetectable viral load have effectively NO risk of sexually transmitting the virus to an HIV-negative partner.” (U.S. Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC),September, 2017)
Anthony S. Fauci, MD, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), in an address he gave at a 2018 International AIDS Conference in Amsterdam, concluded “that the body of scientific evidence to date has established that there is effectively no risk of sexual transmission of HIV when the partner living with HIV has a durably undetectable viral load, validating the U=U [Undetectable = Untransmittable] message of HIV treatment as prevention.”
Results from the from recent PARTNER2 study, which only recruited gay couples, were presented in 2018. In total they documented 75,000 barrier-free instances of anal sexual intercourse between serodiscordant gay couples (one positive and one negative partner). The PARTNER study recruited HIV serodiscordant couples at 75 clinical sites in 14 European countries. They tested the HIV-negative partners every six to twelve months for HIV, and tested viral load in the HIV-positive partners. Both partners also completed behavioral study surveys. In cases of HIV infection in the negative partners, their HIV was analyzed to see if it came from their regular partner or if they had been with someone else.
The study found no transmissions between gay couples where the HIV-positive partner had a viral load under 200 copies/ml – even though there were nearly 75,000 acts of condomless sex between them. The results suggest, “A precise rate of within-couple transmission of ZERO” for gay men (a previous study had shown zero transmission in heterosexual couples). Dr. Alison Rodger (lead author of PARTNER2 study at the International AIDS Conference presentation- July, 2018) put it best when she said ”I just want to pay tribute to the U=U campaign. It has been astonishing. I think the time for excuses are over. I think it is very, very clear that the risk (of transmission) is zero. I very much think we have to promote this… if you are on suppressive on anti-HIV meds you are sexually non-infectious and the time for excuses is over.”
The latest HIV San Francisco epidemiology report shows that the number of new HIV diagnoses continues to decline, falling to 221 cases in 2017 — the lowest number since the start of the epidemic. This represents a five percent decline from 2016, following two years of steeper drops of around 15 percent. Much of this is attributed to more and more HIV POZ persons being on anti-HIV meds and being unable to transmit HIV. The increasing use PrEP, or pre-exposure prophylaxis, in which an HIV-negative person takes a daily anti-HIV med to block infection, is another reason.
In 2018, the statistics show that 92 percent of all HIV POZ Marin County residents (who are on HIV meds) have achieved undetectable viral loads. All of this important news isn’t just good for HIV prevention, but also for HIV POZ individuals. Every HIIV POZ person I know wants to avoid passing the virus on to others. It is important news for those who have not tested for HIV yet, or who have not started treatment yet, that becoming U=U can lift a huge burden of worry off of their shoulders. And finally, having HIV-NEGATIVE people know about U=U helps them to realize that they do not have to stigmatize and avoid HIV-POZ people!
I encourage you – please do everything you can to pass on this information regarding the U=U campaign, as it will help (a) encourage people to know their HIV status; encourage HIV POZ people to be taking meds and be adherent with their med schedules, reduce the stigma and fear directed toward HIV POZ persons; and help sero-discordant couples better navigate their relationships without fear.
Dave Brown formerly worked with the Centers for Disease Control, US Public Health Service
Ecuador has been for many years one of the world’s most amazing destinations for travelers from all over the globe. It’s beauty, history, culture and the Galapagos Islands have made Ecuador one of the top destinations in the planet. However, it remains unknown or in the back burner for most gay men, who feel safer with more traditional travel choices like gay cruises or events in different cities of the United States and Europe. Juan Maldonado, a dual-citizen of USA and Ecuador, and a proud resident of Wilton Manors (Florida’s “gay Mecca”), is determined to change this by promoting his home country as a fabulous destination for gay travelers that is both safe and uncomplicated. Even though most of Latin America is traditionally conservative, Ecuador is 1 of only 5 countries in the World whose constitution provides citizens equal rights regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity since 1998. Ecuador is also one of the few countries in the world to have banned conversion therapy. Under the 2016 Gender Identity Law, transgender people may change their legal gender solely based on self-determination, without undergoing surgery. As of July 2019, same-sex marriage is legal.
Aside from its LGBTQ rights record, Ecuador is simply an uncomplicated choice for North American gay travelers for several reasons. For example, its capital -Quito- is less than 4 hours away from Florida (which is about the same as flying to Denver). No visa or vaccinations are required for Americans and Canadians, and most Ecuadorians speak English. The official currency is the US Dollar, so there’s no need to worry about exchanging money or losing value. In fact, dollars go a long way in Ecuador -as much as 3 times- due to the very low costs of labor, food, gas, transportation, rent, etc.
For these reasons, and the fantastic year-round weather in Quito and other cities on The Andes, Ecuador has been recognized for many years as a top destination for retirement, and boasts a growing number of gay expats from North America. For the 7th year in a row, Quito has won the title of “Leader Destination in South America” in the World Travel Awards (i.e. the Oscars of tourism), and the Galapagos have been for decades one of the most coveted natural destinations in the planet. Prestigious publications like Lonely Planet, Condé Nast, Forbes and websites like TripAdvisor amongst many others, have recognized Ecuador’s unmatched beauty and potential. As an avid traveler himself, Maldonado acknowledges that male gay travelers’ preferences and expectations are unique and don’t necessarily fit canned travel packages that are available for the general LGBTQ market. “Our strategy is simple yet unique: we provide an all-male, all-inclusive (cruise-like) experience: all accommodations, meals, transportation, travel insurance, activities and excursions are included, and you can book with as little as $250. The itineraries have been designed to provide the perfect mix of nature, culture, gastronomy, fun and relaxation.
The convenience factor is also a priority: small groups, private transportation, WiFi 24/7, English-speaking guides, and a 24/7 personal concierge for safety. Lastly, the term ‘all-gay’ doesn’t apply only to our travelers, but our bi-national team which includes gay tour guides and concierge staff, drivers, and gay-owned or gay-friendly accommodation and service providers.” Maldonado was born in Quito and moved to the United States in 2006. After many years working for consumer products he decided to follow his passion for hospitality and started a vacation rental business by acquiring several properties in Orlando and Fort Lauderdale, where he and his husband Bob have hosted over 2000 guests from 35+ countries. After a couple years of research and behind-the-scenes work, Maldonado and his best friend in Ecuador launched Ecuador Gay Travel in 2019.
Previously, the first results shown when googling the word were videos and images which sexualised lesbian women’s bodies.
This unnecessary sexualisation of lesbians has been cited as one of reasons behind the homophobic abuse many lesbian women experience — including the recent attack on a couple on a London bus.
The search engine’s algorithm has now been changed thanks to a campaign led by the Twitter account @SEO_lesbienne and French news site Num.
They noted that only the word ‘lesbian’ linked to sexualised pages, whereas searching for ‘gay’ or ‘trans’ displayed Wikipedia pages, articles and specialised blogs.
After a few days the banner stopped appearing for lesbian-related search terms, and Google reportedly would not provide an explanation for its disappearance.
When questioned at a later date, Pandu Nayak, Google’s vice president of search engine quality, said: “I find that these [search] results are terrible, there is no doubt about it.
“We are aware that there are problems like this, in many languages and different researches. We have developed algorithms to improve this research, one after the other.”
He noted Google’s prior issues with the words ‘girl’ and ‘teen,’ which also linked to porn sites before algorithm changes were made.
“We have taken measures in cases where, when there is a reason for the word to be interpreted in a non-pornographic way, that interpretation is put forward,” he explained, adding that such structural changes “take time.”
Google has since taken action and as of July 19, the top search results for the term ‘lesbian’ are news articles and the lesbian Wikipedia page. These results will appear even if Safe Search is not active.
Kiki Fantroy was reportedly shot on a street corner near an abandoned home after an argument that turned violent. She was taken to a nearby hospital where she died of her injuries.
Fantroy is mourned by her mother, Rhonda Comer, who remembered her as having “a heart of gold” and being “a very loving person.”
She told the Miami Herald: “This feeling is indescribable. The pain. The void. You know that feeling after losing a child and you losing a child for no apparent reason. Because she’s gay.
“And my understanding, you know, my understanding was she was killed because of her desire to be a woman.”
Fantroy came out as transgender ten years ago while in school. She is said to have loved photography, “slaying” her hair and listening to music.
21-year-old Kiki Fantroy is mourned by her family (Dallas Voice)
Police say they are “making progress” with the investigation but are not treating the murder as a hate crime. Miami-Dade Crime Stoppers is offering a $3,000 reward for information leading to the killer’s arrest and conviction.
“My baby ain’t hurt nobody. My baby, my baby. Please help bring justice to my baby,” Fantroy’s mother begged.
Ongoing “epidemic of violence” against black trans women
“It is clear that fatal violence disproportionately affects transgender women of colour, and that the intersections of racism, transphobia, sexism, biphobia and homophobia conspire to deprive them of necessities to live and thrive,” said The Human Rights Campaign.
“This epidemic of violence that disproportionately targets transgender people of colour — particularly black transgender women — must cease.”
Actress, model and transgender activist Laverne Cox (Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty)
The actress, model and fellow black transgender woman Laverne Cox has discussed the reasons behind this violence.
In an interview on the Buzzfeed News talkshow AM2DM, she said: “Your attraction to me is not a reason to kill me.”
She explained: “There’s this whole myth that trans women are out there tricking people and deserve to be murdered, and that’s not the case.
“There’s been a market for trans women in the realms of dating and sex work for a very long time, we don’t have to trick anyone.”
She also touched on the systemic problems like homelessness, unemployment and lack of access to healthcare which make trans people more susceptible to violence.
The Department of Home Affairs uses Qantas, Australia’s largest airline, to transport asylum seekers between detention centres and for involuntary deportations, often to countries where it is dangerous to be LGBT+.
Rilen Taylor matched with someone on a dating site, but the experience went sour when the match insisted Taylor identify as only one gender, either as a man or as a woman.
“If we were to date, I needed to be a girl,” recalled Taylor, who identifies as both male and female and responds to male pronouns. “I think he misunderstood and thought I was a tomboy.”
Rilen TaylorCourtesy Alexander August
This is just one of many uncomfortable experiences that Taylor — a freckle-faced, off-Broadway actor in New York — has faced as a nonbinary person trying to date in a binary world.
Taylor said most people who contacted him on dating platforms assumed he was a cisgender (non-transgender) woman, even though he described himself as “gender fluid” on his dating profile.
On the primary dating site Taylor used, he had to choose between identifying as either “male” or “female” — something that he said felt limiting and uncomfortable. Hovering over the two options, he ultimately clicked on “female,” the sex he was assigned at birth, but he made it a point to clearly disclose his nonbinary gender identity within his dating profile.
“Along with writing that I enjoy ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ and that my favorite movie is ‘Scream,’ ‘Oh, by the way, here’s some trans 101 on what gender fluid is,’” he said.
Not having a nonbinary gender option on the drop-down menu “didn’t allow me to be upfront,” he said. “I was going to lose either way.”
Despite disclosing his gender identity within his profile, Taylor said “99.9 percent of the time, I was getting messages from men thinking I’m a cisgender woman. Occasionally, I got messages from women who thought I was a lesbian.”
These types of interactions were distressing, defeating and exhausting, Taylor said. One user asked if he had a vagina; another asked if he could have babies; and one, after realizing Taylor is nonbinary, simply wrote “sorry” and then blocked him on the dating site. Thinking back on his online-dating history, Taylor recalled how common it was for people he met online to lose interest as soon as they discovered he is not cisgender.
“If they had an option for me, then I could get it out of the way,” Taylor said.
In fact, a study published last month in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found more than 87 percent of people would not consider dating a transgender person at all.
“I thought I was going to have to be alone for the rest of my life or settle for mediocrity.”
RILEN TAYLOR
Researchers at Towson University’s Gender and Sexuality Lab interviewed nearly 400 nonbinary people, who were either currently in a romantic relationship or had been in one within the past five years. All of the respondents reported being subjected to experiences within their relationship that attempted to invalidate their gender identity, with some reporting they were only viewed as their sex assigned at birth, as opposed to the gender with which they identify, by their romantic partner.
“By the time you’re in a relationship, you’re there to get a different type of support,” study author and psychologist M. Paz Galupo said. “When you’re used to not being seen as valid and facing discrimination outside of your relationships, relationships can hold so much power and have a potential for healing, because it’s one place where you are truly seen.”
Not being seen as “valid” by a romantic partner can lead to a host of negative effects, including increased symptoms of depression and anxiety, according to the study.
Nearly 15 percent of those surveyed reported their partners would attempt to block forms of social transition, like wearing clothing to express their gender identity, using a new name or getting gender-affirming health care, including hormone replacement therapy to more closely align their body with their gender.
“This is a romantic relationship, and this is where you go to build trust in others,” Galupo said. “If you feel like you can’t communicate or be fully yourself, then you might not feel like you can in your friendships — it’s harder to disclose or navigate outside that relationship.”
‘OUR IDENTITY IS A REAL THING’
The Towson study’s findings don’t come as a surprise to Ericka Hart, an award-winning sexuality educator in New York.
“The world doesn’t value nonbinary and trans folks, and that violence can rear its ugly heads in our relationships,” said Hart, a self-identified “black queer femme activist” who uses both female and gender-neutral pronouns.
Simply put, Hart said the lack of understanding in personal relationships mirrors society’s lack of empathy toward nonbinary individuals.
The extra work and worry can lead to depression and anxiety, she said.
“There are all these precautions they’d have to take to date people, so they can feel safe in their relationships,” she explained. “You can feel like you can’t date or that you’re undesirable.”
She said it’s not unusual for a nonbinary, agender or gender-nonconforming person to ask themselves, “Can I only date other trans people as a trans person?”
Blyss BryantCourtesy Blyss Bryant
Blyss Bryant, 28, a nonbinary resident of Springfield, Missouri, uses gender-neutral pronouns. Because of past experiences, Bryant said they now exclusively date other transgender people.
“They understand that fear of not being accepted, feeling like you have to look a certain way to pass, and how scary it is to tell people about that part of you,” Bryant said.
Bryant said their previous cisgender partner of three months would constantly dismiss their chosen name and pronouns.
“I felt like he wanted to date a guy and not me. It’s invalidating,” they said. “It feels like they don’t see our identity as a real thing.”
‘WHO’S GOING TO LOVE ME?’
Constant rejection by others nearly made Taylor give up on finding a relationship on mainstream dating platforms.
“I felt like who’s going to love me for me with these binary dating sites? I thought I was going to have to be alone for the rest of my life or settle for mediocrity.”
Then, Taylor met his current partner online last year. Within weeks, the two hit it off and began a romantic relationship.
One day, as they sat in the living room of Taylor’s apartment, the two discussed the future of their relationship. Taylor recalled his partner, who is cisgender, turning to him and saying, “I don’t care if society believes we can’t be boyfriends.”
“My stomach dropped,” Taylor said. “It was an affirming and life-shattering moment. What I was to him was a guy, no big deal.”
“I never felt more seen in my life. I’m worthy to be who I am, and it shouldn’t be questioned,” he said. “For someone to affirm my male identity so freely is beautiful.”
