Emisil.com conducted research to find out the best LGBTQ+ party destinations for 2024. The study analyzed data such as safety scores, LGBTQ+ friendliness, average drink price, average closing time, and the number of gay clubs and bars in each city. Data was sourced from Numbeo, Equaldex.com, TripAdvisor, and Yelp. These metrics were then integrated into a composite score to highlight the best cities where the LGBTQ+ community can enjoy the night out.
Findings summed up:
City
Country
Safety Index
Safety Level
World Equality Index (LGBTQ+ friendliness)
Average drink price
Number of Gay Bars and Clubs Listed on Yelp
Average Closing Time
Composite Score
Madrid
Spain
72.87
High
81
$3.80
73
6:00 AM
91.3
Copenhagen
Denmark
74.15
High
85
$8.72
29
5:00 AM
84.4
New York
United States
49.24
Moderate
73
$8.00
440
4:00 AM
83.3
Amsterdam
Netherlands
71.68
High
80
$7.05
52
5:00 AM
81.2
Berlin
Germany
55.45
Moderate
80
$4.88
105
5:00 AM
78.5
Vienna
Austria
69.80
High
77
$4.88
31
4:00 AM
74.7
Lisbon
Portugal
70.19
High
75
$3.25
21
4:00 AM
71.9
Taipei
Taiwan
84.55
Very High
66
$2.48
22
4:00 AM
70.1
Helsinki
Finland
75.43
High
78
$8.68
9
4:00 AM
69.0
Toronto
Canada
56.75
Moderate
81
$5.86
71
3:00 AM
68.2
First up on the list of LGBTQ+ party destinations is Madrid, Spain, with a composite score of 91. The city is highly gay-friendly, with a World Equality Index score of 81. It has 73 gay bars and clubs, where the parties go on until 6 AM in the morning. The average drink price is one of the lowest at just $3.80.
Second on the list is Copenhagen, Denmark, scoring 84 out of 100. The city has a World Equality index of 85, which is the highest on the list. Copenhagen offers more than 20 gay party spots open until 5 AM, with an average drink price of $8.72.
The third LGBTQ+ party destination is New York, United States, with a composite score of 83. When it comes to LGBTQ+ nightlife, New York is unmatched, with over 400 bars and clubs staying open until 4:00 AM.
Amsterdam, Netherlands, is the fourth destination for LGBTQ+ partygoers,scoring 81. The city is highly LGBTQ+ friendly, with a score of 80 on the World Equality Index and a safety index of 71.68. Parties go on until 4 AM, with the average drink costing $8.
With a composite score of 79, Berlin, Germany, is the next destination for queer nights. The city offers more than 100 gay bars and clubs, with an average drink price of $4.88, which is among the lowest compared with most European cities on the list.
Vienna, Austria, is the sixth destination for LGBTQ+ nightlife, with a composite score of 75. The city has a high safety index of 69.8. In terms of the average drink price, it mirrors Germany.
Lisbon, Portugal, ranks seventh on the list of LGBTQ+ party destinations, scoring 72. The city has a high LGBTQ+ friendliness score of 75. Like Vienna, parties last until 4 AM, but Lisbon has a slightly lower number of gay bars and clubs, with 21 venues overall.
Taipei, Taiwan, is the ninth-best city for gay parties, with a composite score of 70. Regarding the safety of walking home at night, the city has the highest score on the entire list, at 84.55. There are more than 20 gay bars and clubs, where the average drink price is the most affordable, costing only $2.48.
Ninth-ranked Helsinki, Finland, has a composite score of 69. In its 9 gay-friendly clubs and bars, the party goes on until 4 AM, with drinks costing on average higher at $8.68. Compared to Taipei, Helsinki has a higher World Equality Index score of 78.
Toronto, Canada, closes the list of LGBTQ+ party destinations with a composite score of 68.2. The city has the same World Equality Index as Spain, but it has slightly fewer gay bars and clubs overall, with 71 venues partying till 4 AM.
It is frustrating, alarming, sad, and more than a little scary that this still needs to be said in 2024, but here we go, once again, for the record:
Trans. Rights. Are. Human. Rights.
Some so-called “leaders” throughout the country have decided that the trans community—including gender non-conforming, non-binary and intersex folks—make an easy target as political pawns in their hate-filled culture wars. Which is why it is more important than ever for the entire LGBTQ+ community and our allies to stand up boldly on behalf of the entire trans family.
Simply stated, there is no LGB without the T.
Do not for a second delude yourself into thinking that this latest attack on the trans community is “not your fight.” Ignoring transphobia does not make cisgender queer people any safer. They are coming for all of us. Look at the ominous historical precedents. The Weimar Republic was one of the most accepting political climates in recorded history. It took but a few, short years for the Nazis to take power. And where did they begin? The offices of Magnus Hirschfeld, renowned sexologist whose Institute for Sexual Science supported the rights of sexual and gender minorities, most notably the trans community. The historical parallels to today are dark indeed. Rev. Martin Niemoller famously stated of the progressive inaction during the Holocaust, “Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”
We cannot allow passivity and apathy to define our future. It is incumbent and imperative for all of us to stand up for the transcommunity because it is the right thing to do. While those who seek to marginalize the TGNCNBI community attempt to position it as a recent phenomenon, trans folks have existed since the beginning of time, just like the rest of the LGBTQIA+ rainbow.
Intersectionality is more than just an intellectual buzzword when it comes to our civil rights movement. It means that an attack on reproductive autonomy is an attack on trans men and bisexual women, for example. It means that Black LGBTQ+ Lives Matter, too.
For us at the Leonard Litz LGBTQ+ Foundation, it means whether you identify as transgender, gender nonconforming, nonbinary, intersex, or anywhere on the rainbow spectrum, we stand with you. Today, Tomorrow, and Always.
Last year, we were pleased to announce the launch of the Leonard Litz TransPLUS initiative. In response to the unprecedented challenges facing transgender, gender non-conforming, non-binary, and intersex (“TGNCNBI”) members of the LGBTQ+ community, the program is providing support for organizations and individuals whose work focuses on those most impacted in this current environment.
As we all continue to embrace the nuanced, socialized, and evolving experiences of gender identity and expression, the Leonard Litz TransPLUS Initiative seeks to center and uplift those voices in our community that have historically been relegated to the far margins of the movement.
In addition to grant funding, the TransPLUS Initiative amplifies voices of TGNCNBI leaders and builds greater awareness of the community’s socio-economic and political challenges. For example, at the Creating Change Conference held in New Orleans this past winter, we were thrilled to present the Transgender Leadership Award to the very deserving Mariah Moore, who has fought tirelessly on behalf of the trans community, especially Black transgender women. At a time when more and more of our trans friends and family are being singled out for discrimination and abuse, Mariah has chosen to step up and lead the fight for human rights.
It is time for all of us to step up. We are grateful for the opportunity to lead this effort at Leonard Litz, and look forward to helping to recognize, support, and celebrate the most impactful programs, services, and advocacy efforts for the TGNCNBI community.
As we continue to march toward visibility, tolerance, and true equality, there’s still a tremendous amount of work ahead for the LGBTQ+ community, particularly for young people.
Young people today are faced with an alarming volume of stress and anxiety about everything. It’s a trying time to be young today between the political fearmongering of their identity, the heaviness of global unrest and injustice, and the uncertainty of one’s personal future or fulfillment.
We all seem to agree the state of youth mental health is in an unprecedented crisis. Whether social media is to blame or the long-lasting impacts of isolation following a global pandemic, we generally agree something needs to be done. However, any meaningful change often feels distant and, at times, perhaps even unattainable. Even for those who can access care, the treatment path is inefficient. Shortages of behavioral health clinicians often mean wait times of weeks to months before an initial appointment. Costs continue to rise, adding another barrier to better mental health.
Simply put, enough isn’t being done – not when it comes to youth mental health and certainly not when it comes to LGBTQ+ youth mental health.
Real change and lasting impacts are only achieved when we work together, and in this case, that means through public-private partnerships. Government entities, educational systems, and tech innovators must work together to offer FREE, equitable mental health solutions available to everyone, especially marginalized communities.
The Trevor Project, a nonprofit organization committed to suicide prevention in the LGBTQ+ community, recently released its2024 National Survey on The Mental Health of LGBTQ+ Young People. The results are devastating: 39% of LGBTQ+ young people seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, with an even higher percentage for LGBTQ+ youth of color compared to their white peers. Twelve percent attempted suicide. Among non-binary and transgender youth who took the survey, 46% considered attempting suicide. Many of the suicide attempts are tied to bullying, with 49% of LGBTQ+ ages 13-17 experiencing occurrences in the past year.
And even for those who wanted to seek help, 50% of those who wished for mental healthcare were unable to receive it in the past year.
We know that 20 million young people – or one in five children – in the U.S. have a mental health condition, but only an estimated 20% of those young people ever receive care. Many researchers believe this number is even higher due to the many barriers to care, ranging from social stigma to lack of access and costs.
Fortunately, there are great options for those seeking care through digital behavioral health platforms, many designed specifically for children, teens, and young adults, whose needs differ from adults. But accessing these tools assumes knowledge of the platform, the device to access it, and all associated costs. In other words, without a public partner, we risk not reaching our marginalized communities—often those who need it most.
Shutterstock
We need both equity of awareness and access. This requires a comprehensive approach that partners governmental and education support systems with the private sector’s tech innovators to build solutions.
California is a remarkable example of how to bring these partnerships to life. Today, an estimated 13 million children, teens, and young adults have free access to two digital mental health and wellness apps. As part of California Gov. Gavin Newsom’s groundbreaking $4.7 billion investment in behavioral health,everyone 25 years old and younger has access to these apps:Solunafor those 13-25 years old, andBrightLife Kids for those 12 and under (and their families and caretakers). Newsom has made an incredible commitment to youth mental health, focusing on ensuringequity of access for marginalized communitieswho face disproportionate barriers to access through his Master Plan for Kids’ Mental Health and the Children and Youth Behavioral Health Initiative.
The California initiative can serve as a blueprint for other states, counties, and boards of education to make a meaningful, impactful commitment to addressing the youth mental health crisis.
It’s time we take action.
Our young people need us today more than ever and LGBTQ+ youth deserve an unwavering ally to ensure their mental health is protected and strengthened. There has never been a better time to take action than today.
Dr. Beth Pausic, Psy.D., is a clinical psychologist who oversees clinical quality and excellence at Kooth Digital Health, a youth behavioral health platform accessible to 16M people worldwide. Before Kooth, Dr. Pausic was the director of behavioral health at hims & hers. Her experience before working in telebehavioral health includes over 15 years as a Clinical Administrator and provider in diverse clinical settings. In her clinical work, she primarily focused on anxiety, depression, and relationships. Dr. Pausic received her doctorate from George Washington University.
Voices is dedicated to featuring a wide range of inspiring personal stories and impactful opinions from the LGBTQ+ and Allied community. Visit Advocate.com/submit to learn more about submission guidelines. We welcome your thoughts and feedback on any of our stories. Email us at voices@equalpride.com. Views expressed in Voices stories are those of the guest writers, columnists and editors, and do not directly represent the views of The Advocate or our parent company, equalpride.
Transgender legislation trackers have universally noted that 2024 has seen the most radical increase in the total number of anti-LGBTQ+ bills. However, this year has also seen fewer anti-LGBTQ+ bills actually pass into law.
The Trans Legislation Tracker reports that 617 anti-LGBTQ+ bills have been in consideration this year across 43 states, with 225 having failed and 348 active. However, only 44 total bills are reported to have been enacted into law.
The American Civil Liberties Union reports similar data—they say that 517 bills have been introduced, 340 defeated, and 39 passed into law. Journalist Erin Reed’s legislation tracker reports 760 total bills in consideration, with 565 failing and only 53 brought into law.
According to all the trackers, the total number of bills that were in consideration in 2024 increased significantly from the previous year. About 800 total bills are being tracked across the different trackers, each using somewhat different inclusion criteria. Last year, Trans Legislation Tracker reported 607 bills in consideration, the ACLU 510, and Erin Reed’s team 540.
These laws range from sweeping bans on gender-affirming care for minors to restrictions on what LGBTQ+ content can be discussed with minors to those that define trans people out of the law.
This reflects growing anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment among right-wing political operators in the country. Nationwide, anti-LGBTQ+ hate crimes have dramatically increased, with the total rates quadrupling in states that have more anti-LGBTQ+ laws. Project 2025, a plan by the influential, right-wing Heritage Foundation to enact conservative policy should Donald Trump be elected, has support among politicians.
However, the data also reflects how the public does not support these laws.
More anti-trans bills passed last year than this year. Trans Legislation Tracker reports that 86 passed last year, in comparison to 44 this year. The ACLU reports that 84 passed into law last year and 39 this year. Erin Reed’s team reports that 81 were passed last year in comparison to 53 this year.
The Erin Reed tracker also reports that more pro-LGBTQ+ bills were passed into law this year than were anti-LGBTQ+ bills. Fifty-seven pro-LGBTQ+ bills out of a total of 616 were enacted, an increase in both counts from last year.
The data is unlikely to change from now until the rest of the year, as most state legislative sessions across the country have been brought to a close, with the majority of these bills failing to pass. Those that remain are likely to be rollovers, a type of bill that continues from one year into the next before being debated.
Lawmakers are more keen to fight these bills when they’re introduced, reflecting the broader views of their constituents. An NORC poll conducted in collaboration with the Los Angeles Times found that 77% of adults believe “elected officials are mostly using debates over transgender and nonbinary people to distract attention from more pressing priorities.”
A Fox News poll found that only 1% of voters believe “Wokeness / Transgender issues” is the most important issue today, and a Pathfinder Opinion poll sent to GLAAD finds that anti-trans policies motivate 53% of voters to vote against the politician, with only 25% being motivated to vote for them.
Gillian Branstetter, an ACLU communications strategist, said in a statement, “The end goal of anti-trans legislation is denying transgender people the words to describe our experience, the means to express it safely, and the community and support we all deserve.”
“Little to no” gender-affirming surgeries are being performed on minors in the United States, and those that are performed are overwhelmingly on cisgender minors.
Out of the 151 breast reductions that were performed in 2019 on American minors, 146 (97 percent) were performed on cisgender males, according to a new study published in JAMA. Out of the 636 breast reductions performed on adults, 507 (80 percent) were performed on cisgender males.
The study used data from 47,437,919 adults and 22,827,194 minors who were insured that year, finding that chest-related operations accounted for 1,591 out of 2,664 (59.7 percent) of surgical procedures performed on adults, and 82 of 85 (96.4 percent) of surgical procedures performed on minors.
The rate of transgender and gender-diverse people undergoing a gender-affirming surgery was 5.3 for every 100,000 adults, and 2.1 for every 100,000 minors ages 15 to 17 years. Among minors ages 13 to 14 years, the rate of gender-affirming surgeries was 0.1 for every 100,000. There were no procedures among minors 12 years or younger.
“These findings suggest that concerns around high rates of gender-affirming surgery use, specifically among [transgender and gender-diverse] minors, may be unwarranted,” the report reads. “Low use by TGD people likely reflects adherence to stringent standards of gender-affirming care.”
Dannie Dai, lead author of the report, said the hope is that the study “will help policymakers understand how gender-affirming surgery is being used by both cisgender and TGD people,” as “health policy should be driven by facts” rather than partisan or religious views on sex and gender.
“Our findings highlight a bitter irony: that by banning gender-affirming care for only TGD people, these bills are targeting a group that in reality accounts for the minority of gender-affirming care use and for whom gender-affirming care has been most clearly shown to be lifesaving,” Dai said.
Although HIV transmission rates have declined from 201 to 2022, one demographic is seeing a rising share in new HIV infections: young Latino men, the Associated Press reported.
Young Latino men are the most at risk for HIV infection, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). This demographic recently accounted for nearly 33% of new HIV infections even though they only make up 19% of the United States population.
African-American men still have the highest rate of new infections from HIV. However, Latino gay and bisexual men accounted for the largest amount of new HIV cases in 2022. Kentucky, Louisiana, Georgia, and South Carolina have the highest rates of these new diagnoses.
The finding comes at a time when the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) is three years into a federal initiative to end the U.S. HIV epidemic.
HHS seeks to increase access to HIV treatment and information by allocating funding into areas that have the highest infection rates. HIV rates declined 23% from 2012 to 2022, but there are still currently 1.2 million people living with HIV in the U.S., including those who don’t know they’re infected.
In 2022, Kentucky, Louisiana, Georgia, and South Carolina saw the highest rates of new diagnoses among Latinos. But in South Carolina, there is enough funding for only four community health workers focused on HIV outreach, some of whom are not bilingual; leaving Latinos who only speak Spanish cut off from healthcare resources.
Public health advocates say that the federal government should redistribute funding to focus on HIV prevention, including access to testing and pre-exposure prophylactics (PrEP), a medication that greatly reduces the likelihood of HIV transmission. Only 4% of the almost $30 billion dollars in federal funding for HIV healthcare has gone to prevention.
Advocates say that outreach efforts at churches, training bilingual HIV testers, and testing at clubs on Latin nights could all help decrease new HIV infections in Latino communities.
“HIV disparities are not inevitable,” Dr. Robyn Neblett Fanfair, director of the CDC’s Division of HIV Prevention, in their call for additional funding and awareness around this disparity.
The aforementioned study also noted that although South Carolina saw HIV infection rates double among Latinos from 2012-2022, the state has not yet expanded HIV mobile testing in rural areas, where the need is greatest.
Likewise, in Shelby County, Tennessee the Latino HIV diagnosis rate rose 86% from 2012 to 2022, yet health department director Dr. Michelle Taylor said, “There are no specific campaigns just among Latino people.”
Shelby County received $2 million in initiative funding in 2023, setting forth a response plan that acknowledges Latinos as a target group for HIV treatment and outreach.
TheHuman Rights Campaign is pioneering a new frontier in the fight againstHIVstigma and health disparities. The organization’s GENERATE initiative, part of HRC’s celebrated “My Body, My Health” campaign, is a beacon of hope and empowerment for Black and LatineLGBTQ+ young men living with HIV.
Launched in 2023 with a blend of advocacy, storytelling, and education, GENERATE is more than a program—it’s a lifeline. “This initiative is about transforming lives,” says Torrian Baskerville, the dynamic director of HRC’s HIV and Health Equity program. “We are equipping these young men with the tools to not only survive but thrive.”
The program promises a transformative six-month journey for its eight lucky participants. The most recent application period closed at the end of May. The trans and cisgender men selected will be flown toWashington, D.C., for an immersive weekend of workshops and networking events. Participants will delve into the complexities of mental health, especially as it intersects with HIV, under the guidance of a licensed mental health therapist who shares their lived experiences.
“Access to mental health services has always been a significant barrier,” Baskerville notes. “We’re tackling this head-on by embedding mental health support into every facet of the program.”
After their initial training, participants return to their communities armed with knowledge and a renewed sense of purpose and community. Regular check-ins and ongoing support are in place to ensure they stay on track with their personal goals, whether it’s achieving viral suppression or excelling in their careers. The significance of this continuous support cannot be overstated, as these young men often face isolation and stigma that can hinder their progress. Baskerville says that the GENERATE initiative is committed to their success every step of the way.
The initiative also responds to the pressing need for tailored support within marginalized communities. Baskerville, himself a Black man living with HIV, emphasizes the importance of representation and relatability in this work. “When participants see themselves reflected in their mentors and peers, it creates a powerful sense of belonging and motivation,” he explains. The program provides critical resources and fosters an environment where participants can share their experiences and learn from one another.
The cohort members will be announced later this month, and the program will officially begin in July. The stakes are high, but so is the potential for impact. Baskerville says, “If even one participant walks away with a clearer path to a healthier, more empowered life, we’ve succeeded.”
The Utah Public Auditor has been “unable to substantiate” a single violation of the state’s anti-transgender bathroom ban out of over 12,000 complaints.
The state auditor released a form in May for the public to report transgender people who use the changing rooms and restrooms that align with their gender identity to state authorities. The form was meant to be a method of enforcing a recently enacted state law that levies criminal penalties against people who use “changing rooms” that do not align with their biological sex in government-owned and run buildings.
HB 257 changed the state’s legal definitions of “female” and “male,” defining the terms based solely by one’s reproductive organs. It defines a “women’s bathroom” and “men’s bathroom” as spaces exclusively designated for females and males, respectively. Government facilities impacted include public schools, courthouses, libraries, recreation centers, airports, and some sporting arenas.
The form was quickly flooded with memes and joke reports upon its launch. Now, nearly two months later, the form still has not led to a single substantiated complaint after over 12,000 filings. Only five reports were deemed “plausible” enough to investigate, and each inquiry turned up nothing, the Utah Public Auditor announced in a statement Wednesday, via the Salt Lake Tribune.
The state auditor’s office has struggled with how to enforce the bathroom ban since its passage, noting in its statement that it still does not have a “privacy compliance plan” in place. Privacy violation has been a key concern since the law’s passage, as the form enables people to upload pictures to provide evidence of “incidents” while requiring the submitter’s name and email address.
Despite the overwhelming failure, the Utah Public Auditor insisted it would keep the form up and continue to investigate the few reports it deems serious.
“During June, almost all of the complaints we received were also frivolous complaints,” the statement continued. “We have completed our investigations and are not investigating any other complaints at this time. As we identify credible or good-faith complaints, we will investigate those pursuant to the statutory requirement.”
Rabbi Sharon Kleinbaum prepares for her last service at the Masonic Hall in New York on June 28.Andres Kudacki / AP
For more than three decades, Rabbi Sharon Kleinbaum has led the nation’s largest LGBTQ synagogue through the myriad ups and downs of the modern gay-rights movement — through the AIDS crisis, the murder of Matthew Shepard, the historic civil-rights advances that included marriage equality, and mostly recently the backlash against transgender rights.
She is now stepping down from that role and shifting into retirement. The New York City synagogue that she led for 32 years — Congregation Beit Simchat Torah in midtown Manhattan — will have to grapple with its identity after being defined by its celebrity rabbi for so long.
Her retirement also comes at a challenging moment for the LGBTQ-rights movement. Same-sex marriage is legal nationwide, but conservative politicians are enacting restrictions on transgender healthcare, restricting LGBTQ curriculum in schools, and proposing bans on the performances of drag queens.
“I’ve been blessed and privileged to have the opportunity to use the gifts I have, on behalf of God’s vision for the world,” Kleinbaum said in an interview. “I’m very, very lucky that I’ve been able to do this. I just feel like now is the time to make room for a younger generation.”
Embraced by her congregation and left-leaning politicians, Kleinbaum, 65, taught an unapologetic progressive vision for Judaism that resonated beyond the enclave of Manhattan and liberal Judaism. When Donald Trump was elected president, Kleinbaum had the synagogue do outreach to Muslims. The congregation also built an immigration clinic to help LGBTQ refugees in hostile parts of the world get asylum in the U.S.
“It is a religious calling to help the immigrant. I see that it is just as deeply important for (the synagogue) as it is leading Friday night services,” Kleinbaum said.
Congregation Bet Simach Torah, better known as CBST, has roughly 1,000 paying members. About 4,000 Jews, from nonreligious to Orthodox, show up to the temple’s High Holy Day services, historically held in New York’s Jacob Javits Convention Center on the West Side of Manhattan.
The temple’s regular congregants have been a Who’s Who of media and LGBTQ historical figures. Edie Windsor, who sued and won to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act, was in regular attendance while she was alive. Andy Cohen, of “Real Housewives” fame, is there regularly. Joan Rivers showed up for Yom Kippur. Kleinbaum’s wife is Randi Weingarten, the head of the nation’s biggest teachers union.
Appointed in 1992, Kleinbaum spent much of her first year burying members of her congregation, many of them dying from AIDS. The need for a salaried rabbi to provide pastoral care was among the biggest reasons for CBST to hire its first rabbi. One of her first funeral services was for a member of the search committee that hired her.
The 1990s brought the increased visibility of gay and lesbians in the public sphere, but also brought the passage of the federal Defense of Marriage Act, which defined marriage as between only a man and a woman.
“She really was doing rabbinical triage work at the beginning, working with a community that ultimately saw (a third) of its members die of AIDS,” said William Hibsher, a member of CBST for several decades who was there when Kleinbaum was appointed.
Hibsher was not an observant Jew in early 1990s, but he said he felt inspired by Kleinbaum’s work as well as the care she provided to his partner, who died from AIDS in the mid-1990s. He later became heavily involved with the synagogue, including serving on its board of directors and helping raise millions for its current location on West 30th Street.
When New York legalized same-sex marriage in 2013, Kleinbaum stood in the park across the street from the marriage bureau and performed same-sex weddings outdoors. Among the couples she married in 2014 were two men who had spent 20 months planning their wedding, which was held in a former Broadway theater.
Kleinbaum hasn’t specified what she plans to do in retirement, but said she’s likely to continue doing social justice work or working in Democratic politics. CBST has given her the title of “senior rabbi emerita” to show a level of connectedness as she steps down, but the bimah at CBST will no longer be hers.
Even people who would be considered her ideological adversaries have found common ground to collaborate with her on issues of religious freedom and human rights.
When President Joe Biden appointed Kleinbaum to the U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom, which monitors and researches freedom of religious expression worldwide, she served as a commissioner along alongside Tony Perkins, head of the Family Research Council. The council opposes the LGBTQ-rights movement.
“She’s able to step back and see where (two with strong ideological differences) can meet on core issues, and realize here’s where we can find common ground,” said Fred Davie, an administrator at Union Theological Seminary and a longtime friend of Kleinbaum.
Kleinbaum served two terms on the USCIRF. Her first term ended early in 2020 when she decided to focus attention on her congregation amid the COVID-19 pandemic. For her and the congregation, it was familiar territory after the AIDS crisis.
“We knew immediately many of the elements that we had to deal with: isolation, loneliness, fear,” Kleinbaum said. “There were differences, of course, between AIDS, but many things were enough similar that it almost felt like muscle memory.”
For the congregation, there seems to be a degree of uncertainty of what the synagogue will be without her. CBST, like many congregations, skews toward older members; many have been with Kleinbaum since the beginning.
The synagogue named Jason Klein as new chief rabbi earlier this year; he will start on July 1. But the consensus among members seems to be that Kleinbaum is simply irreplaceable.
“I think people, in their heart of hearts, wanted to find a Kleinbaum 2.0 to replace her,” Hibsher said. “There’s a landscape of wonderful progressive synagogues throughout Manhattan. So part of the question for the congregation will be: Is there a need for an LGBT synagogue in the year 2024? I think there is.”
While Kleinbaum laid out her plans to leave CBST a year ago, there were audible gasps at Yom Kippur services last September among the attendees when it was mentioned that CBST would no longer be headed by her. Her second-to-last Shabbat service, held June 21, was a sold-out event. The keynote speaker: New York Attorney General Letitia James.
“Most importantly, she has given us a space,” James said, using her hands to point to the synagogue and its standing room only crowed. “This space. Where we can be safe. Where we can be free.”
Gene Dinah misses his late husband, Robert Malsberry, every day. He misses Malsberry’s cooking, his love for gardening, the way he fixed things around the house and the way he made him feel special and protected.
“He was just great,” Dinah said of Malsberry, who died in 2019. “I couldn’t have had a better partner.”
The memories of the 46 years the men had together are all around him.Malsberry is in the paintings he bought to decorate their home in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He is in the medals he received for his service with the Air Force. Heis in the photos from a lifetime together.
“Oh, this is one of my favorite pictures,” Dinah said as he held a photo of himself and his husband standing in front of lush green shrubs at their home. “That’s our rock garden.”
Picking up another photo, he said, “That’s my husband in our dining room in our house in Victoria Park with Cleo, our Persian cat.”
“Oh, this is a good picture,” he continued. “This is my husband when he was an Air Force lieutenant after graduating college.”
They had no children, so when Malsberry was diagnosed with leukemia and later dementia, Dinah became his full-time caregiver. “I took care of him as best I could,” he said.
Malsberry died in 2019, four years after the couple got married in 2015, following that year’s landmark same-sex marriage ruling by the Supreme Court.
“My husband was very happy when we got married,” Dinah said. “I didn’t know how he was going to take it. I really didn’t, because he’d been in the closet, you know, for all those years.”
Dinah was destroyed after Malsberry died. “My whole life was him,” he said.
While taking care of his sick husband, Dinah did not think about his own elder years. Now, at 76, he is one of many LGBTQ elders who have no surviving relatives who can take care of them.
LGBTQ older adults are four times less likely to be parents than older heterosexual adults, and twice as likely to grow old single and living alone, according to SAGE, a national group that offers services and advocacy for LGBTQ adults 50 and older.
The challenges LGBTQ elders face overlap with an aging U.S. population. According to the U.S. Census, the population aged 65 or over grew to an unprecedented 55.8 million, or 16.8% of the total population, in 2020. The number of people in the U.S. that are 65 or older is projected to increase by 47% by 2050.
An older population exacerbates workforce shortages in senior living facilitiesand health care institutions, and while this affects many older Americans, LGBTQ elders face unique challenges when compared to their heterosexual counterparts.
In a report published in 2018, SAGE found LGBTQ elders are far more likely than their heterosexual peers “to have faced discrimination, social stigma and the effects of prejudice.” They are therefore, the report found, more likely “to face poverty and homelessness, and to have poor physical and mental health.”
Caregiving
Since LGBTQ people are less likely to have children, more than half (54%) of LGBTQ elders receive care from their partner and nearly a quarter (24%) receive care from a friend, according to SAGE. More than 20% of older LGBTQ adults have provided care to friends, compared to just 6% of their heterosexual counterparts.
Mitchell Zahn, a coordinator for SAGE in South Florida, said that in heterosexual family units, caregiving tends to have a vertical model, in which the child takes care of their parents.
“But in the gay community, since so many do not have a family, caregiving tends to be with friends, a more horizontal model,” Zahn said. “However, when you age, your friends tend to be older as well and have their own health needs, so our health support is failing as well because we don’t have that intergenerational aspect.”
Dinah is a vivid example of the horizontal model of caregiving. For the four years during which Dinah was his husband’s sole caregiver, he arranged all of his medical appointments, found him the doctors he needed, took care of him through medical procedures, cooked for him, took care of the house and got him all the medical supplies he needed. After his husband died, Dinah had no one to help him with his own health care.
“I didn’t see a doctor or a dentist for four years while I was his caretaker,” he said. “When it was all over, I started going to the doctor, and I found out I had prostate cancer.”
Dinah went through six weeks of radiation treatments by himself.
Health care
Discrimination in health care and the fear of such discrimination are major factors that lead to health disparities for LGBTQ elders, according to research. In its 2018 report, for example, SAGE found approximately 20% of LGBTQ people avoid medical care out of fear of discrimination.
Zahn, the SAGE coordinator, said that because many LGBTQ elders grew up in a time when discrimination was more widespread and intense, they tend to fear government and health care institutions.
“People have experienced housing evictions, not having their partners recognized in health care institutions,” Zahn said. “So as a result, many are closeted when seeking services through traditional institutions.”
Zahn said LGBTQ elders may feel judged for who they are, so they may not share everything about their medical history with their doctors, which could lead to misdiagnosis and overall poor health outcomes.
The challenges of aging are even greater for transgender elders and even more for trans immigrants and trans people of color.
More than 20% of transgender people report that a doctor or other health care provider used harsh or abusive language while treating them, according to SAGE, while 50% of trans people reported having to teach medical providers about transgender care.
Morgan Mayfaire, 65, is the executive director of TransSOCIAL, an organization that aims to create a more inclusive community for transgender people. As a trans man, he said, he has experienced prejudice when visiting medical providers.
“When they look at your records, they’re going to see in your list of medications that you’re either taking estradiol or you’re taking testosterone,” Mayfaire said. “The question then is, ‘Why?’ The minute you tell them that it’s because you’re trans, you can see the bias in their face.”
Mayfaire helps train a variety of institutions, including those focused on health care, about best practices when caring for older trans people.He said very few medical professionals have gone through sensitivity training, and those that have, typically don’t train their new hires.
Florida is one of the states that has recently passed legislation seeking to restrict transgender rights, including a law signed by Gov. Ron DeSantis that made it harder for transgenders adults to access gender-affirming care. That law is now on hold after a federal district court ruled it unconstitutional, but Mayfaire said the effects are palpable.
“A lot of the providers that we had before have either left the state and moved somewhere else, or are reluctant to reopen those services,” Mayfaire said.
Andrea Montanez, a trans field organizer in Orlando with the National LGBTQ Task Force, said, “It’s scary to be an elder as a transgender person, to be honest.”
Montanez, 58, said a doctor who had given her great treatment for years suddenly turned curt, cold and distant after she transitioned.
She also suspects her apartment lease was not renewed because she told her landlord she had transitioned.
Housing
Mayfaire said housing is another big obstacle for LGBTQ elders.
Half the LGBTQ population live in states with no laws prohibiting housing discrimination against them, and 48% of LGBTQ couples experience adverse treatment when seeking senior housing, according to SAGE.
“There are very few retirement communities for LGBTQ folks to begin with,” Mayfaire said. He added that even at retirement communities that are accepting of gays and lesbians, “it’s very rare” that they accept trans people.
He said he has heard of LGBTQ elders who end up having to go back into the closet in order to be accepted in some retirement communities.
“It’s a little bit more difficult when you’re trans and you’ve transitioned,” Mayfaire said. “How do you backtrack on that and how do you deal with that emotionally and mentally?”
Isolation
Nearly 60% of LGBTQ older adults report feeling a lack of companionship and over 50% reported feeling isolated from others, according to SAGE.
That isolation can really impact the mental health of LGBTQ elders, many of whom faced the brunt of discrimination and were the pioneers of the movement for LGBTQ rights.
To combat that loneliness, SAGE matches elders with “friendly visitors”: volunteers who donate their time to accompany an LGBTQ elder.
Volunteers sometimes share a meal with an elder, tell stories, watch movies, play board games or just simply talk. Some volunteers check in with their elders with a simple text message or a call.
“I’ve seen some real magic happen between volunteers and participants, some incredible relationships that have formed,” Zahn said.
Craig Rosenblatt is one of SAGE’s volunteers. Sitting next to Dinah on a recent Friday afternoon, Rosenblatt said he volunteers in part to pay homage to and learn from his LGBTQ elders.
“You’ve had experiences that I have not had with bigotry. Where there were a lot of things that I was able to do that you were not able to do, and there’s a lot of things that I was not able to do that people can do today,” Rosenblatt told Dinah.
After his husband died, Dinah said, he was so consumed by grief that he couldn’t manage to put up his Christmas tree for several holiday seasons.
“I just didn’t feel like doing anything for the holidays,” he said. “Grief is a funny thing. It saps your energy.”
Last Christmas, however, that changed, thanks to another SAGE volunteer.
“He got our Christmas tree out, got it working and plugged it in and everything, and that meant everything to me,” Dinah recalled. “The passage of time is a good thing. I know I feel much better now than I did in the beginning.”