LGBTQ+ refugees and asylum seekers in Kenya face the threat of deportation if proposed anti-homosexuality laws are passed in parliament.
Homosexuality is already illegal in Kenya, but the the Family Protection Bill 2023 would expand upon these laws, meaning LGBTQ+ people would face life sentences for simply identifying as themselves.
If passed, the bill would impose a jail term of no less than five years on people found guilty of assembling, picketing, promoting or supporting LGBTQ-specific activities.
This would be dire not only for Kenyans, but refugees as well. The proposed bill would also allow for “the expulsion of refugees and asylum seekers” who identify as LGBTQ+.
Kenya is home to half a million refugees in camps across the country from Kakuma and Dadaab, according to Washington Blade. Refugees and asylum seekers in Kenya are mainly from Burundi, Somalia, South Sudan, Ethiopia, Uganda and the Democratic Republic of Congo, countries that have endured war, famine and economic instability.
Prior to this bill, Kenya was the only country in the region accepting refugee and asylum seekers without asking about their sexuality.
Recently, however, there have been increased attacks against LGBTQ+ people in the camps, especially in Kakuma, Kenya’s largest camp.
Kakuma refugee camp in Kenya. (Getty Images)
A report conducted by the Organisation for Refuge, Asylum and Migration (ORAM) found that 83 per cent of LGBTQ+ refugees at Kakuma experienced physical violence due to their sexual orientation, with 26 per cent reporting sexual assault.
The report includes the horrific experience of a trans refugee living in the camps, who shared that they were forced to have sex with a woman.
“They forced me to have sex with the lady. They then lectured me on the need to get married and have children of my own. They left me traumatized. Two days later they asked the lady to come and stay with me as my wife.
“That is when I escaped from the block and moved to live with a friend in an area far from my allocated shelter. I did not report the incident since I was afraid the police would equally stigmatise me for who I am.”
There are currently 300 LGBTQ+ refugees in Kakuma who have started an online petition, pleading with the Kenyan government to stamp out discrimination and address the mistreatment they’ve been dealing with in the camps.
The petition reads: “As refugees who have sought safety and refuge from conflict and persecution, we should not have to endure further suffering and discrimination within the confines of the camp. Yet, this is the reality for many of us.
“We are subjected to brutal attacks and physical violence from fellow refugees who hold homophobic views, leaving us with deep wounds and scars that often result in physical disability. Some of our community members have even lost their lives in these attacks.”
The proposed bill will only worsen their lives and leave them with nowhere to go.
President of Kenya William Ruto, however, slammed this ruling and said: “It is not possible for our country Kenya to allow same-sex marriages … It will happen in other countries but not in Kenya.”
Anti-homosexuality laws have increased across the African continent as more countries introduce oppressive laws that target LGBTQ+ people.
North Carolina Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson, an extreme right-winger who has called LGBTQ+ people “filth,” is seeking the 2024 Republican nomination for governor.
Robinson announced his candidacy Saturday. In North Carolina, the governor and lieutenant governor run separately, not as a slate. Robinson will face North Carolina Treasurer Dale Folwell in the Republican primary, while the likely Democratic nominee is Josh Stein, currently the state’s attorney general. Current Gov. Roy Cooper, a Democrat, cannot run again due to term limits.
Robinson held a rally at Ace Speedway and also released a video, in which he said, “I don’t care about the zip code you live in, the size of your paycheck, whether you’re Black, white, straight, or gay.” However, his record belies that statement.
Speaking at a North Carolina church in June 2021, he said, “There’s no reason anybody anywhere in America should be telling any child about transgenderism, homosexuality, any of that filth.”
He added, “And yes, I called it filth, and if you don’t like that I called it filth, come see me and I’ll explain it to you.”
In November of that year, in another church appearance, he said straight couples are superior to same-sex ones because they can potentially reproduce sexually. He equated LGBTQ+ people with “what the cows leave behind” as well as “maggots” and “flies.”
Just last month, he told a church congregation, “Makes me sick every time I see it, when I pass a church that flies that rainbow flag, which is a direct, a direct spit in the face of God almighty,” The American Independentreports. He also said, “God formed me because he knew there was going to be a time when God’s learning was going to be intolerable to the wicked, when children were going to be dragged down to go see the drag show, when pornography was going to be presented to our children in schools.”
His anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric goes back years. In January 2017, he posted on Facebook calling Michelle Obama “he” and “an anti-American, abortion and gay marriage supporting, liberal leftist elitist and I’ll be glad when he takes his boyfriend and leaves the White House.”
He also has made many anti-choice, anti-Semitic, anti-Muslim, and pro-gun comments, and he has put down his fellow Black Americans. He has said a woman’s body ceases to be her own when she is pregnant. He has called survivors of the mass shooting in Parkland, Fla., “silly little immature media prosti-tots” for their activism on behalf of gun control.
On Facebook, he said of the movie Black Panther, “It is absolutely AMAZING to me that people who know so little about their true history and REFUSE to acknowledge the pure sorry state of their current condition can get so excited about a fictional ‘hero’ created by an agnostic Jew [Stan Lee] and put to film by satanic marxist. How can this trash, that was only created to pull the shekels out of your Schvartze pockets, invoke any pride?”
About reparations for slavery, he said in 2021, “Nobody owes you anything for slavery. If you want to tell the truth about it, it is you who owes. Why do you owe? Because somebody in those fields took strikes for you! … Somebody had to walk through Jim Crow for you! Somebody fought wars and died for you!”
Democrats reacted swiftly to Robinson’s announcement. “Mark Robinson is an extremist who has built a legacy of division by spewing hate toward the LGBTQ community, disrespecting women, putting culture wars ahead of classrooms, and pushing to ban abortion with no exceptions,” said a statement from Anderson Clayton, the North Carolina Democratic Party chair, broadcaster WRAL reports. “We need a Governor who will expand opportunities for working families and uphold our fundamental rights — not a dangerous politician whose reckless policies would kill jobs and threaten North Carolinians’ future.”
Republican activist Jonathan Felts predicted Robinson would win the primary over Folwell, who is also an opponent of LGBTQ+ rights and abortion rights. “The short answer is that Robinson’s going to win the primary,” Felts told WRAL. “The longer answer is Dale Folwell’s a great public servant, but I just don’t see a pathway for him to be able to get his message out there.”
GLAAD, the world’s largest lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) media advocacy organization, is updating findings to the first comprehensive count and analysis of increased threats, protests and violent action against drag events nationwide. An additional 25 incidents were documented in 2023 as of April 25, according to data gathered by GLAAD in partnership with the Anti-Defamation League’s Center on Extremism.
Findings
GLAAD found 166 incidents of anti-LGBTQ protests and threats targeting drag events since early 2022, with a sharp uptick beginning in Pride season 2022 and continuing through the midterm election cycle. False rhetoric was deployed against performers in campaign ads for the 2022 midterm elections, and rhetoric escalated to violence including the firebombing of a Tulsa donut shop that had hosted a drag event in October 2022. Equality Texasdocumented additional targeted events throughout the year, including an armed demonstration and confrontation in San Antonio.
Participation in anti-drag incidents in 2023 has included the Proud Boys, white supremacists, and religious extremists. ADL has tracked at least seven events where members of known extremist groups showed up.
2023 Incidents
04/08/23—Cottonwood, AZ—At least 10 members of the Proud Boys, some in tactical vests and face masks, protested a sold-out Arizona Pride Tour drag event. LINK
04/05/23—Pasco, WA—Extremists protest an all-ages Disney-themed drag show. LINK
04/01/23—Chardon, OH—White nationalist organization the Patriot Front among protesters at a drag brunch at a bar. LINK
04/01/23—Chesterland, OH—White nationalist organization the Patriot Front among protesters at a Drag Queen Story Hour at a church. LINK
03/31/23—Chardon, OH—Drag-friendly church firebombed by neo-Nazi. LINK
03/26/23—Indianapolis, IN—Indy Reads bookstore temporarily closed following a bomb threat targeted the store’s monthly Drag Story Hour. LINK
03/26/23—Louisville, KY—Protestors and a bomb threat targeting a Drag Queen Story Time show forced the evacuation of a building. The same event faced online threats from a neo-Nazi group. LINK
03/24/23—Chesterland, OH—The Community Church of Chesterland, which plans to host a Drag Story Hour next Saturday, said its sign and building were vandalized by molotov cocktails Friday night, and that Proud Boys were sending online notices encouraging protests. LINK
03/22/23—Prestonburg, KY—An all-ages drag show was canceled after organizers and supporters said they faced online threats of armed protest. LINK
03/22/23—Tuscon, AZ—Bookmans Northwest location postponed its Drag Story Hour after a campaign by The Bridge Christian Church to get the event canceled; the Proud Boys offered the church “extra security.” LINK
03/11/23—Wadsworth, OH—Protest at “Rock-n-Roll Humanist Drag Queen Story Hour” in Memorial Park. Two people were arrested and charged with disorderly conduct after melees involving pepper spray, the violent use of a flag pole as a weapon, and a protester who pointed an object that looks like a gun at a crowd. LINK.
03/09/23—New York City—Anti-drag panel discussion at a New York Young Republican Club event featuring Roger Stone and Red Scare podcast hosts Dasha Nekrasova and Anna Khachiyan. LINK
03/08/23—Royal Oak, MI—A small protest over Drag Queen Story Hour being held at the lesbian-owned Sidetrack Bookshop was met with a significantly larger group of pro-equality counter protesters. LINK
02/25/23—Lakewood, TX—Anti-LGBTQ protesters gathered outside a drag queen brunch at BuzzBrews. The groups held signs reading “stop grooming children,” “defend traditional values,” and “drag the queens out of town.” LINK.
02/24/23—New York, NY—Anti-LGBTQ protesters showed up at Jackson Heights Library to disrupt a Drag Story Hour event. LINK.
02/22/23—New York, NY—Anti-LGBTQ protesters assembled outside of the Queens Public Library to disrupt a Drag Story Hour event. LINK.
02/19/23—Tempe, AZ—A coffee shop closed down after receiving a bomb threat during their Drag Queen Story Hour. LGBTQ-owned Brick Road Coffee was the target of heavy online harassment after the event caught the attention of the Proud Boys. The bomb threat was sent over the internet. Police confirmed Proud Boys were “in the area” at the time of the event. LINK
02/18/23—Silver Spring, MD—A drag queen story hour at Loyalty Books was targeted by members of the far-right group the Proud Boys. Protesters reportedly used anti-LGBTQ slurs, including false allegations of grooming, and “graphic accusations.” LINK
02/03/23—Orlando, FL— Florida Gov. DeSantis’s administration filed a complaint against the Orlando Philharmonic Plaza Foundation over a showing of Nina West’s “A Drag Queen Christmas” in December 2022. The complaint alleges that the show violated state law for allowing a person to “commit lewd or lascivious exhibition” in the presence of a minor and seeks to revoke the foundation’s liquor license. LINK
01/31/23—St. Louis, MO—Urban Fort, a play place for children with a cafe for adults has rescheduled and relocated its book reading event for kids with Drag performers due to death threats. LINK
01/28/23—Princeton, TX—Texas Family Project protests drag show at Deffibaugh Community Center. LINK
01/21/23—Cokeville, TN—Extremists in white masks stood across from Hix Farm Brewery, held a Nazi flag, and chanted homophobic slurs. They carried signs, reading “Why do they want an audience of children?”—despite the event being open only to those 18 years of age or older. LINK.
01/20/23—Salt Lake City, UT—Proud Boy members protest an all-ages drag show outside Tea Zaanti, a local wine and tea shop. LINK
01/14/23—Taunton, MA—People in masks protested outside and inside the Taunton Public Library at a Drag Queen Story Hour. LINK
01/14/23—Dallas, TX—Protect Texas Kids (PTK) protested outside a BuzzBrews Kitchen’s Lakewood location drag show. LINK
Anti-Drag Legislation 2023
GLAAD is tracking legislative proposals in 14 states (as of April 2023) that aim to restrict or ban drag, including Tennessee’s SB0003 which has been signed into law (it’s currently under a temporary restraining order by a U.S. federal judge). In many cases, extremist politicians pointed to local drag events as the motivation for new legislation that would ban public drag performances such as those that take place at Pride festivals, ban minors from observing drag performers, including library events such as Drag Story Hour, or reclassify venues that host drag performances as “adult” or “adult cabaret” venues.
ARIZONA
SB1026—Would restrict the “use of state monies prohibited for drag shows targeting minors.”
SB1028— Would not allow drag performances in public spaces.
SB1030—Would define establishments that host drag shows as “adult-oriented businesses”
IDAHO
H0231—Would not allow drag performances in public spaces.
H0265—Would not allow drag performances in public spaces.
KANSAS
SB201—Would ban the expenditure of state moneys for the production or performance of drag shows for which minors are the primary audience.
KENTUCKY
SB115—Would reclassify any establishment that hosts drag shows as an “adult-oriented business,” and would ban them within a thousand feet of schools, parks, or homes.
MISSOURI
SB429—Would criminalize drag shows where minors are present
HB498—Would criminalize drag shows where minors are present
HB494—Creates the offense of engaging in an adult cabaret performance, including drag
MONTANA
HB359—Would prohibit minors from attending drag shows
MINNESOTA
HF1903—Would classify drag performances a “adult entertainment”
SG933— Would classify drag performances a “adult entertainment”
NEBRASKA
KB371—Would prohibit an individual under nineteen years of age or under twenty-one years of age from being present at a drag show as prescribed
TENNESSEE
HB0009/SB0003—Criminalizes drag performances in public. Passed into law but is under a temporary restraining order issued by a U.S. District Court judge
SB0841—Would classify all drag performances as “adult cabaret”
HB708— Would classify venues that host drag performances as “sexually-oriented” businesses
HB643—Would classify venues that host drag performances as “sexually-oriented” businesses
WEST VIRGINIA
HB3176—Would prohibit drag shows from being performed in front of minors and to prohibit people from dressing in drag when reading aloud during story time in schools.
The 2022 analysis found here included states with the highest number of drag events targeted by protests and threats:
Texas (20)
North Carolina (10)
Illinois (8)
Tennessee (6)
California (6)
Georgia (5)
While many of the incidents were reported in smaller cities and towns in the South and Midwest, a number also took place in areas with higher LGBTQ populations and LGBTQ-inclusive communities.
A number of the drag events targeted by threats and protests in person were first targeted by right-wing media outlets like Fox News and the Daily Wire, and social media accounts like LibsOfTikTok. The outlets and accounts often misrepresented what would occur at upcoming drag events, spinning them as harmful to children, and protests or threats would follow. A Media Matters report from June 2022 found that Fox News had devoted more hours to targeting drag queens and transgender people than to coverage of the January 6 insurrection hearings.
A Media Matters analysis in November found that disturbing misinformation about drag had ramped up on Fox News and the Daily Wire in the weeks before the Tulsa firebombing, with Tucker Carlson falsely claiming that drag queens “want to sexualize children,” and the Daily Wire’s Matt Walsh calling on police to “break down the doors” of LGBTQ clubs and arrest drag queens. Sometimes the targeting came full-circle, with right-wing media hyping up negative attention ahead of an event and continuing afterward. In June 2022, LibsOfTikTok targeted the Couer D’Alene, Idaho “Pride In The Park” (where 31 anti-LGBTQ protesters were arrested, see tweet below) ahead of the event, saying that a “family friendly drag dance party” was being promoted by the Idaho Satanic Temple. Afterward, the account shared a doctored video of a drag performer that spread misinformation and falsely alleged indecent exposure during the performance, which led the drag performer to file a lawsuit in September. The LibsOfTikTok account was briefly suspended by Twitter in September after news reports connected its posts to bomb threats made against children’s hospitals that provide gender-affirming care to transgender youth, but the account was reinstated.
A number of 2022 incidents involved violence or weapons. Extremist groups like the Proud Boys, Patriot Front, and local white supremacist chapters were involved in several incidents.
In Tulsa, OK, this October, security video captured a person smashing the windows of a donut shop before lighting a Molotov cocktail and firebombing the storefront.
A bomb threat was emailed to a local news station in South Carolina, claiming several bombs were planted at a restaurant hosting drag brunch and threatening to kill performers and attendees.
About 50 members of the Proud Boys extremist group armed with long guns and in helmets, full face masks and flak jackets protested Drag Story Hour at a church in Ohio.
Neo-Nazis with swastikas and transphobic signs at a Pflugerville, TX, restaurant hosting a drag brunch.
Armed protestors, raising hands in Nazi salutes, disrupt a drag bingo fundraiser in Katy, TX.
Alleged Proud Boys disrupt multiple LGBTQ-inclusive events in Arlington, TX, blocking the sidewalk, falsely claiming attendees were “pedophiles.” Extremist protesters with a history of recording and photographing children without consent protest drag performances at a restaurant in Houston.
San Antonio concert venue cancels upcoming drag shows for the year, citing threats against performers and staff. In Eugene, OR, this October, protesters carried semiautomatic rifles and threw rocks and smoke bombs.
In the Chicago suburb of Downers Grove, IL, in September, a public library canceled a drag bingo event after receiving a threatening letter that included a bullet and the phrase “more to come.”
In Memphis, Tennessee, in September, local leaders said Proud Boys were among thearmed protesters that showed up to a drag event at the Museum of Science and Industry, forcing the event’s last-minute cancellation.
In Sparks, NV, in June, children at the town library ran for safety from a Proud Boysprotester carrying a gun.
In Couer d’Alene, ID, in June, police arrested 31 Patriot Front members who had traveled from ten different states armed with riot gear and smoke grenades to protest a Pride event that had been targeted by LibsOfTikTok online.
Mendocino County Pride Celebration will be held in Hopland this year!
Saturday we will shut down Center Street between Hopland Tap & Thatcher Hotel. The Street Party begins at 1pm with music, food, art, beer & wine. This is a chance to connect with the LGBTQIA+ community and allies. This is a family-friendly event and all ages are welcome. A $5 donation will go towards the event and our beneficiary The Ford Street Project.
A drag show will follow at Hopland Tap from 6-8pm. There is no cover and the restaurant will also be open for dinner service.
Sunday join us for Drag Brunch at Thatcher Hotel. This will also be a family-friendly show and we will have a local drag competition with winners chosen by the audience. This is from 11-1pm.
We are so excited to get the community together and celebrate our queer community and the inclusivity of Mendocino County & Beyond!
Fox News taking Tucker Carlson off the air means that one of the loudest anti-trans voices in US media falls silent – for now. But his anti-LGBTQ+ legacy will continue to reverberate.
Carlson was Fox News’ top-rated and most-watched host, and he’s been credited with setting the agenda for US conservatives from coast to coast.
Night after night, millions tuned in to watch Carlson rant and paint a dystopian picture of a US where conservatives are under attack from the encroaching ‘woke’ left.
Over the years his eponymous show aired, he raged against the LGBTQ+ community, embraced racist conspiracy theories and pushed an increasingly far-right agenda on his viewers.
His departure from the network came as a shock to many. In a terse statement released Monday (24 April), Fox News said it and Carlson agreed to “part ways” effective immediately. It’s been reported that the decision was made by Fox chair Rupert Murdoch.
It means that Carlson made his final appearance, apparently unknowingly, on Friday, bringing to a quiet close an era of right-wing hate and ‘radicalisation’.
It said he “worked to radicalise the Republican party in the direction of its most dangerous, authoritarian elements”.
“Carlson has been the face of the network since at least the 2020 election, with executives counting on his personal connection to viewers to keep them coming back as former president Donald Trump receded from the national stage,” Media Matters added.
“He used that opportunity to focus the network (and through it, the GOP) on his own particular obsessions, like the ‘great replacement’ conspiracy theory, anti-trans invective and support for authoritarian regimes in Russia and Hungary.”
Tucker Carlson was at the forefront of anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric and attacks on trans rights
Among Carlson’s most vehemently pursued talking points was the idea that white, cisgender, heterosexual people are under attack in the US. It’s a common bigoted topic pushed by the right-wing to abuse anyone who deviates from their perceived norm.
Fast forward to 2020, he took to the air to call the Black Lives Matter protests an “insidious” attempt to “challenge Western civilisation itself”. He also called workplace anti-bias training “poison” and reverse racism.
Tucker Carlson has also been at the forefront of the modern attack on gender-affirming healthcare by the right-wing.
Over the years he appeared on Fox News, Carlson hosted a lengthy list of anti-trans guests, who espoused hateful talking points. He’s also devoted hearty chunks of his on-air career to personally attacking the lives of trans people.
In 2021, he hosted a guest who falsely suggested gender-affirming healthcare for trans youth allows people to “basically molest and abuse children”. Carlson agreed before falsely characterising such medical treatment as “genital mutilation”.
He depicted healthcare officials providing gender-affirming care as “criminals” and said Boston Children’s Hospital was “playing the victim” after it received bomb threats over such care.
Tucker Carlson used mass shootings to attack drag queens and trans people
Amid right-wing attacks against drag, Tucker Carlson said on Fox News that kid-friendly drag events were attempts to “indoctrinate and sexualise children”. In another segment, he claimed it’s “not that unfair” to accuse drag queens of “being creepy with kids”.
He also blasted what he described as the “sexualisation” of children by teachers and urged parents to “fight back” against discussions of LGBTQ+ issues in schools.
The host falsely claimed on his Fox News show that the school shooting “happened because of a deranged and demonic ideology that is infesting this country with the encouragement of people like Joe Biden”.
He also labelled trans people as the “natural enemy” of Christianity as he alleged that the “trans movement is targeting Christians”.
Tucker Carlson characterised the trans community as the “natural enemy” of Christianity in the wake of the Nashville school shooting. (Fox News)
What will happen to Tucker Carlson after his Fox News exit?
Once O’Reilly stepped away for good from the mic, his name, reputation and sway in the right-wing crowd faded into obscurity. Carlson may face a similar fate.
It also came just a short while after Fox settled a defamation lawsuit with Dominion Voting Systems for $787.5m. The lawsuit centred on Fox airing false claims that the presidential election was stolen after former president Donald Trump’s 2020 loss.
Filings in the case featured a lengthy list of messages from Carlson disparaging the media group’s news division and management, revealed his feelings about Trump and demonstrated his scepticism of the ‘stolen election’ conspiracy theory.
The commissioner for The Council of Europe’s Human Rights is urging politicians in Slovakia to vote against proposed legislation that would effectively prevent trans people from having their gender legally recognised.
The bill, set to have its second reading next month, proposes only allowing someone to change their gender marking if they can prove, via genetic testing, it had been incorrectly determined.
In a letter to the Slovakia parliament, dated 19 April but released publically on 25 April, commissioner Dunja Mijatović said she was concerned that the bill would “effectively” mean trans men and women’s genders would not be legally recognised and “lead to human rights regression”.
She said it was “in conflict” with the Slovak Republic’s obligations under the European Convention on Human Rights.
It “should have triggered a process of addressing long-standing concerns about intolerance towards LGBTI people”, she said.
“However, I am disappointed that no discernible progress has been made, and that the human rights of LGBTI people in the Slovak Republic appear to be more, rather than less, at risk.”
Mijatović also used the letter to highlight issues relating to the rights of same-sex couples and hate incidents towards queer people.
Rights for same-sex couples in the Slovak Republic fell short of European Court of Human Rights case law, she said, noting, specifically, that the current legal framework did not grant same-sex couples “adequate recognition and protection of their relationship”.
She went further and urged that human rights of queer people be protected.
“These include ensuring that gender identity and sex characteristics are explicitly recognised as protected characteristics in hate-crime legislation, and included as aggravating circumstances when offences are committed on those grounds.”
Mijatović also recommended raising societal awareness and acceptance of sexual orientation and gender identity, noting parliamentarians had downplayed links between hate crimes and the wider Slovakia society and political sphere.
The Slovak Republic is not the only European country facing condemnation for its laws in relation to LGBTQ+ people.
As more LGBTQ+ people marry and have families, they’re welcoming a growing number of nonbinary, gender-neutral, and gender-expansive relatives. But the titles used for relatives tend to be old-fashioned and heavily gendered. If someone has nonbinary elders or children, for example, they may find themselves unsure about the best gender-neutral family terms for “uncle” and “aunt” or respectful gender-neutral words for “niece” and “nephew.”
However, there are gender-neutral family terms for every branch in one’s family tree. Though some of the labels are instantly familiar and understandable — like “parent” or “sibling” — others may seem newer and less familiar — like “moppa” or “pibling.”
ADVERTISING
People even make up new, unique terms for nonbinary and gender-neutral family members all the time to help describe the unique relationships they have with their relatives.
While some of the newer family terms below may require a bit of explanation so others can understand them, using these terms regularly will help normalize them, making them more widely accepted in the mainstream. (There’s also a complete list of gender-neutral pronouns to help make nonbinary people feel welcome at any occasion — though some people use “rolling pronouns” too.)
Let’s explore some of the most adopted ways to ungender various family member labels below:
Mother /Mom / Father / Dad
Naturally, “parent” and “guardian” are the most commonly understood terms for someone with legal or parental rights to a child. Many of the words in this section, however, are less common and more endearing, leaning even into affectionate “child-speak.”
Bapa: Uses the “b” from nonbinary with soft “a” vowel sounds
Bibi: Uses the “b” from nonbinary and hard “i” vowel sounds
Dida: Combines the hard “i” and soft “a” vowel sounds
Nibi: Uses the “b” from non-binary and “i” vowel sounds (either hard or soft)
Nini: Uses the “n” from non-binary and hard “i” vowel sounds
Maddy / Moddy / Muddy: Combines “mommy / mummy” and “daddy”
MaiMai: uses a hard “a” vowel sound
Mombo: Combines “mom” and the hard “o” vowel sound
Moppa: Combines “mommy” and “poppa” (popularized by the transgender TV series Transparent)
Zaza: Uses soft “a” vowel sounds
Sister/Brother
Sibling/Sib: short for “sibling”
Sibster/Sibter: a mixture of “sibling” and “sister” with a hard “b” sound
Daughter/Son
Most of the terms in this section are more commonly understood.
Child
Offspring
Kid/Kiddo
Oldest: referring to one’s eldest child
Youngest: referring to one’s most recently born child
Spawn: a humorous term, usually applied to underwater creatures
Aunt/Uncle
The gender-neutral terms for “uncle” and “aunt” either combine the two words or use affectionate “child-speak” nicknames.
Pibling: a mixture of “parent’s sibling”
Auncle: a mixture of “aunt” and “uncle” (though make sure to emphasize the “au” vowel sound)
Titi: a mixture of the Spanish words for “aunt” (tia) and “uncle” (tio) — though “titi” is Spanish is similar to “auntie”
Zizi: a mixture of the Italian words for “aunt” (zia) and “uncle” (zio) — though “zizi” is also French child slang for “penis”
Unty/Unitie: a mixture of “uncle” and “auntie”
Niece/Nephew
Gender-neutral terms for “niece” and “nephew” tend to combine the words or acknowledge the child’s relationship to one’s own sibling.
“Grandparent” and “grandchild” are the most commonly used nonbinary terms for these relatives, but some people use the less common nonbinary slang terms for parents or aunts and uncles to designate grand-relations (like “zaza,” “bibi,” or “titi.”
Godmother/Godfather/Goddaughter/Godson
“Godparent” and “godchild” are the most commonly used nonbinary terms for these relatives.
“Betrothed” is an old-fashioned word that means a person that one is engaged to marry. However, some of the terms for girlfriend/boyfriend listed above may also work.
Wife / Husband
“Spouse” and the somewhat disparaging “ball and chain” are both gender-neutral terms that can refer to one’s married partner. However, some of the terms for girlfriend/boyfriend listed above may also work.
RELATED STORIES
Celebrities weigh in on gender-neutral acting categories for awards shows
Everyone from Angela Bassett and Jamie Lee Curtis to ‘Absolutely Fabulous’ star Joanna Lumley has a opinion.
Gender-Neutral Family Terms Are Here to Stay
Gender-neutral family terms are becoming increasingly popular as a way to break down traditional gender roles and create a more inclusive language for families of all kinds.
By introducing gender-neutral terms such as “parent” instead of “mother” or “father,” families can avoid unnecessary assumptions about their structure and foster an environment of respect and understanding. This doesn’t just apply to the queer world.
With the growing recognition of the importance of gender equality, it is likely that the evolution and use of gender-neutral family terms will continue to be embraced in the years to come.
LGBTQI History: A Sonoma County Timeline 1947-2000.
Wednesdays 1:30-3pm. Online via Zoom. On May 3, Frances Fuchs will be talking with us about the Right To Marry movement in Sonoma County. Please contact me to enroll in this FREE class and receive a Zoom invite: cdungan@santarosa.edu
Knowing your LGBTQ+ history is not only important, but it can provide great comfort and reassurance for members of the community. What’s more, it opens our eyes to the fact that, yes, queer really has always been here!
RELATED STORIES
This Week in LGBTQ Twitter: Lesbian Visibility Week brings out the TERFs
And Chelsea Manning throws shade at Elon Musk.
In honor of Lesbian Visibility Week, we thought we’d educate you on some key moments in lesbian history, from the first arrest for lesbian activity to the first televised kiss between two women.
Get the Daily Brief
The news you care about, reported on by the people who care about you.
The first conviction for lesbian activity
We’re starting off by throwing it all the way back to the 1600s.
In March 1649, there was the first known conviction for lesbian activity in North America.
Sarah White Norman and Mary Vincent Hammon were charged with “lewd behavior with each other upon a bed” in Plymouth, Massachusetts.
Hammon was under 16 and not prosecuted.
The first lesbian marriage
Public domainAnne Lister plaque in York
Same-sex marriage wasn’t legalized in the United States until 2015, but that didn’t doesn’t mean lesbian weddings only started happening then.
In fact, the very first marriage between two women actually happened in the 1800s.
Anne Lister (whose name you might recognize from the HBO series Gentleman Jack) was dubbed “the first modern lesbian,” and she married Ann Walker at Holy Trinity Church, Goodramgate, York in 1834.
Of course, their union was without legal recognition, given that same-sex marriage was only legalized in the U.K. in 2014. However, they took communion together on Easter Sunday and thereafter considered themselves married.
In years since, the church has been described as “an icon for what is interpreted as the site of the first lesbian marriage to be held in Britain,” and the building now hosts a commemorative blue plaque in their honor.
The word “lesbian” is used
The word “lesbian” is part of many people’s everyday vocabulary now, but do you know when it was first used?
Well, the word “lesbianism” to describe erotic relationships between women had been documented way back in 1732.
The term was first used by William King in his book, The Toast, published in England, which meant women who loved women.
The book has become notable for providing proof that the term “lesbians” was used in a sexual sense as early as the 1700s, in exactly the same way that it is used today.
Before this, the word lesbian meant “of Lesbos”, such as “Lesbian wine” or “Lesbian culture.”
The term “lesbian” is used in a medical dictionary
Then, in 1890, the term lesbian was used in a medical dictionary as an adjective to describe tribadism (as “lesbian love”).
The terms lesbian, invert, and homosexual were then interchangeable with sapphist and sapphism around the turn of the 20th century.
Arrest for lesbian partying
WikipediaMa Rainey
Singer Ma Rainey – the so-called Mother of the Blues – was arrested in her house in Harlem for having a lesbian party in 1925.
Her protégé, Bessie Smith, bailed her out of jail the following morning.
Both Rainey and Smith were part of an extensive circle of lesbian and bisexual African‐American women in Harlem, and the Blues scene of the Harlem Renaissance provided Black women with a space to explore their sexuality and gender. It gave them the freedom to be themselves without the white supremacist gaze, which sexualized and criminalized Black women.
Rainey wrote about speculation regarding her sexuality three years later in the song “Prove it On Me Blues,” with lyrics including: “Ain’t nobody caught me, you sure got to prove it on me.”
Publication of a groundbreaking lesbian novel
In 1928, English author Radclyffe Hall published what many consider today a groundbreaking lesbian novel, The Well of Loneliness. It follows the life of Stephen Gordon, an Englishwoman from an upper-class family whose “sexual inversion” is apparent from an early age.
The book’s release caused the topic of homosexuality to be a topic of public conversation in both the United States and England.
The formation of the first known lesbian rights organization
In September 1955, the first known lesbian rights organization in the United States was formed in San Francisco.
Daughters of Bilitis (DOB) hosted private social functions until it was dissolved in 1995. It was conceived as a social alternative to lesbian bars and clubs, which were subject to raids and police harassment, as well as general discrimination.
Throughout its 14 years, Daughters of Bilitis became an educational resource for lesbians, gay men, researchers, and mental health professionals.
RELATED STORIES
Coming out from behind the lens: How one lesbian’s photos captured the rise of gay rights
Kay Lahusen was the first photojournalist of the LGBTQ movement and she helped to document the earliest protests for homosexual rights.
While representation is well on its way now, there was a time when TV shows didn’t want to touch lesbianism with a bargepole, making the first on-screen kiss between two women all the more monumental.
Although it might surprise you to learn that it wasn’t until the nineties that two women first locked lips on American TV.
The kiss in question aired in a 1990 episode of 21 Jump Street, but the camera cut off their actual lips, meaning the actual kiss wasn’t really shown at all.
So, unofficially, the first lesbian kiss on TV is often attributed to a 1991 episode of legal drama L.A. Law, in which bisexual lawyer C.J. briefly kissed her female colleague Abby Perkins on the lips.
Sadly, romance never blossomed between the two characters, as Abby left the show and C.J ended up with a boyfriend, not to mention the network received major backlash for the scene.
Still, we’ve come a long way.
Audre Lorde is named State Poet of New York
A sign with an Audre Lorde quote at the 2017 Women’s March in Toronto
In 1991, self-described “Black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet,” Audre Lorde became the State Poet of New York. She dedicated both her life and her creative talent to confronting and addressing various injustices, whether it be classism, homophobia, racism, or sexism.
The critically acclaimed novelist, poet, and essayist was also a co-founder of The Kitchen Table Women of Color Press, and an editor of the lesbian journal Chrysalis.
In April 1997, comedian Ellen DeGeneres came out as a lesbian on the cover of Timemagazine, stating: “Yep, I’m Gay.”
The cover coincided with the broadcast of “The Puppy Episode,” a two-part episode of the American situation comedy series Ellen.
The episode details lead character Ellen Morgan’s realization that she is a lesbian and her coming out, with the title initially used as a code name for Ellen’s coming out so as to keep the episode under wraps.
To say the moment was groundbreaking for lesbian history would probably be an understatement, as not only did it win multiple awards, Ellen became a cultural icon. DeGeneres’s career, though, suffered as the network stopped promoting her sitcom until it was ultimately canceled.
RELATED STORIES
Ellen ends her 19-year talk show by showing how far LGBTQ equality has come
“Twenty-five years ago they canceled my sitcom because they didn’t want a lesbian to be in primetime once a week. And I said, ‘OK, then I’ll be on daytime every day. How about that?’”
First lesbian elected to Congress
Campaign photoSenator Tammy Baldwin
In 1998, aged 24, Tammy Baldwin became the first openly lesbian candidate ever elected to Congress, winning Wisconsin’s Second Congressional District seat over Josephine Musser.
The Democrat was also the first woman elected to either chamber in Wisconsin.
Then in 2012, she made history as the first LGBTQ+ person elected to the Senate.
Publication of When We Were Outlaws: a Memoir of Love and Revolution
Written by Jeanne Cordova, When We Were Outlaws was published in 2011.
The radical lesbian activist and pioneer’s memoir offers a raw and intimate insight into the life of a young activist torn between conflicting personal longings and political goals, at a time when the fight for gay rights and liberation for women was still fresh.
Today, When Were Outlaws is still considered extraordinary.
Lesbian history is still in the making
Looking back at these groundbreaking moments in lesbian history, we can see how far the LGBTQ+ community has come in the fight for equality and acceptance. However, we must also acknowledge that lesbian history is still in the making.
There is still much work to be done in terms of combating discrimination and bigotry and ensuring that all members of the community are treated with dignity and respect.
Let us honor the brave pioneers who paved the way for us and continue to fight for a better future for all members of the LGBTQ+ community.
By subscribing to the LGBTQ Nation newsletter, we can stay informed and engaged with the ongoing struggle for LGBTQ+ rights and contribute to the ongoing progress towards a more just and equitable society.
